Idiot seeks girl advice on computer forum

My own opinon - talk to her about what your thinking about.

 

^^^ What he says.

 

Cheers for the advice guys - robb, I have talked to her about it many times, as I said the problem is she just says that it's fine.

AH

 

It's uni, and as long as your not misleading her, don't worry. Its a time for both of you to have some fun, and hopefully grow. If she believes that she can change you, then the pain from failing in this task is something that she needs to grow. You might want to talk to her closest friend to see if you can get a feeler for how she's really feeling, if she's just having fun its not something to worry about.

However you may wish to view this as a lesson for yourself as well as for her. It would seem your feeling bad for how you treated (and possibly continue to treat) her, and are looking for an 'out' that makes you the 'good guy' again. Thats not going to happen, you should own your behaviour and either accept it or change it.

Thats enough of the sub-daytime tv pseudo psychobabble.

 

haha, good post.

Well, I'm not looking for an out so I can feel like the good guy. I genuinely feel bad because having talked to her friends I know she really wants more from me. Based on that I'm gonna go for c). You are right though, it's not cool to sit here going "oooh I feel really bad" but continuing to let her get hurt, I need to stop this, now. The problem is that this IS uni, and it really isn't fun for her, and the last thing I wanna do is have a negative impact on her uni experience.

AH

 

horizontal monster mash!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
on a more serious note, try staying as friends without the horizontal monster mash......HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.....sorry the term you used is very interesting.... as for the girl..... try doing what i did with my EX.... we did a lot of horizontal monster mash but we today are the best of friends.... nothing more, nothing less.

 

Do you see women worrying about our feelings when they do the exact same thing you think you're doing? (Leading her on etc).

I say just carry on slamming her.

 

In my experience, honesty is the best policy.
I think as long as you're honest with her its up to her what she does.
Its all a learning experience tbh and she may need to learn the hard way by getting her heart broken before she learns at all.

So if you wanna keep getting you Nat King Cole, carry on seeing her but be sure you're honest with her and be sure she knows that monster mash partner doesn't equal life partner.

IMO, honesty is the only policy.
Always worked for me, you wouldn't believe the s*** you can get away with if you're honest about it!

 

*coughs* (not that I speak for women everywhere) but generally when a woman says something is "fine", it really isn't. It sort of means we want to make you guess what's wrong and how to fix it... or we want you to know what's wrong but we're too shy/embarrased to tell you.

What do you think what would happen if you stayed friends but stopped doing the casual sex? If you still want to be friends... and so does she....then maybe you can be, but.. minus the benefits.

If she still has feelings for you, then it might become obvious when your main point of intimacy is gone. She may become more clingy/needy... I dunno... maybe

 

the problem is... that she may start doing horizontal monster mash with everyone.

 

I'm gonna stop doing the sex thing. It seems like the way forward, eh. There's no way she'd start mashing with loads of people, but I hope she does move on soon, when we weren't together she just ignored any advances from anyone else, which kinda scared me. Cheers for the advice everyone

AH

 

Open file: Scrubs
See Example: Dr Cox and Jordan

Seriously, this appears to be their relationship throughout the first 5 series You never know, she might even be PREGNANT! that would be uncanny!

BTW: Dont sleep with her while drunk

edit: are you trying to imply that all girls (or even worse, this girl in particular) are generally prone to just accepting every offer given to her ? It has been my experiance that no, that is not the case

 

Speaking from very similar experience, I did B initially, but it turned into A, which was good for a while, but it clearly wasn't doing her any good and it started getting to me too, so I then opted for C.

Although for a while, I wondered if I'd been a fool to opt out of a Good Thing (tm), I soon felt much better for it.

Three months later she ran off with a bloke twice her age (on of her fathers friends) went abroad, and came back when she got up the duff. Draw your own conclusions.

 

i would say C - shagging your ex's really does lead to all kinds of problems, and i know this first hand...

 

Course not man, it was just that she knocked back everyone, i.e. not even any kind of flirting or anything, seemingly without even considering it as an option, as if she still felt she was commited to me. She's a hottie too, and gets a lot of attention, so its not like she hasn't had a chance!

AH

 

anyone else keep reading this title as "Idiot girl seeks advice on computer forum"

and expect some link to a forum sporting said thing?

 

This is almost exactly the situation I'm in right now, except I actually am dating her. Everyone I've talked to and all the thinking I've done has led me to option C, it really is the best. You're (I'm) just hurting her worse by continuing on letting her think there may be a chance, you'll (I'll) hurt her worse in the end by leading her on. End it as cleanly as possible and hope, in a while after the dust settles that she understands.

 

Ditto. She thinks that by sleeping you, that you might develop feelings for her. Be a real man and stop fooling around with her soley for your gratification.

 

you certainly think high of yourself !!!

 

It is said that men are defined by their actions. I seek girl advice on computer forum, therefore I am an idiot. Actually that's all rubbish, the only action I have is karate chop. Oh, and my eyes light up if you press a button on my back.

AH