Never had many funny teachers, college lectures were the best tho. IN my second year @ college doing an AVCE in IT there was guy called matt, same age as me (then 17), bit of a chav but he was alright. Middle of the day lecture for 2 hrs, at the start of the lecturer we were all mucking about and telling joke etc... Lecturer comes in and we all settle excpet for Matt, he still giggling like a little school girl: Debbie(lecturer): Matt are you all right? Matt: Yes fine thanks Debbie *Matt still giggleing* Debbie: Something the matter Matt? Matt: No not at all *still giggling* Debbie: Right to begin today we'll be..... blah blah blah *at this point were all looking @ Matt thinking he must be really stoned or somthing* *hes still giggling* Debbie: Right Matt if your not going to stop giggling dont be in this class Matt: Ok try and stop *still giggling* Debbie: Right! Matt do you want to leave? If so do it now! Matt: Ok then, thanks. *Stands up, walks to the door* Matt:Be in the pub, see you later The expression on Debbie's face was priceless, the rest of the lecture, was just plain wierd, she didnt know what to say! Another lecturer on the same course was called Kelly, she was about 25 and was from Stoke (just 20miles north of our college). Kelly was sound, we could all have a laugh and talk about anything, it was great. One day she walked in and said: "Guys, i've got a small problem, i've had my review and the've gone over acceptable class room chatter, SEX is NO LONGER ALOUD! I cant even talk to you about my sex life now. Something to do with the fact that we could have relations with each other, pretty crap if you ask me, your all ugly ****ers, wouldnt touch any of you!" Was a right laugh when she said, altho she was being serious! She was a cracking lecturer. Regards GiGo PS got many more intresting stories about college, if someone wants to read a couple of amussing stories on a very unfinished website click here
I was once in a Biology class. The class ran long, so it was after the bell when we got out. We all got up to leave, except for one guy in the back who had fallen asleep. The Prof told us all not to wake him. Instead, he had us all leave quietly. Since the class ran long, the next class was waiting in the hall. He had them all come in quietly and sit as well. He then proceeded to teach the next lecture. About halfway through, the guy in the back woke up he looked around and realized that he was totally surrounded by strangers, and that the teacher was teaching a different subject! We had the biggest laugh from that......still gives me a chuckle to this day. Asside from that, the only other funny thing that comes to mind was a comment one of my History teachers said to me once after I had been giving her a hard time. She turned to me and said "You could do with a good CAINING!!" LMAO
The engineering/architecture teacher at my high school worked in the industry for ages so he has TONS of amusing stories that he tells us. Here is one of the more recent ones he told me when I went back to say hi and visit my teachers. There was a time when he was riding the tram down into a coal mine and several of the miners had started a pool of cash and were betting one of the new guys that he couldn't pee over the power rail. By the time they got to the bottom the pool was up to ~$270 and so the guy took the bet. So he whipps it out and proceeds to piss over the rail, as he started he easily cleared the power rail. But we all know how pressure goes... 600 Amps later the guys had electrical burns all the way up to his kidneys. The teacher doesn't recall wether or not the individual could still be classified as a guy after the event. Then there was the time when his friend was with him down in the mines and absentmindedly leaned against the rail. The guy droped like he had been hit over the head with a shovel and as he scrambled back to his feet he had his fists up and was ready to fight his assailant. Took my teacher quite awhile to convince his buddy that no one had attacked him.
I had a wicked physics and computing teacher, he rode into college every day on a Kawasaki Ninja and when everyone finished their work he would spend the rest of the lesson cracking jokes and showing us how to blow things up - he was also a bit of a Linux fanatic and used to give out full CD sets to anyone who asked. Also had a weird maths teacher, he was a bit of a chav and I'm sure he was gay. Every evening he would do handbrake turns around the car park in his barried Saxo. He was an absolutely brilliant teacher though - I passed with an A thanks to him. Back at GCSE level we had a bit of a weird one for English. She had a nervous breakdown about halfway through the year when her dog died so we got a supply teacher called Joanne, she was seriously fit and only about 22. She ended up teaching us all year as the original teacher never came back - apparently she was so messed up over the loss of her dog that she stopped teaching completely. Saw her on exam day and she looked a right mess. That's a bit of a sad one really.
I just remembered a quote of my Biology teacher, a couple of years ago. Some guy asking: "Sir, are you married?" Teacher: "No, but I do collect stones!" Right...
GCSE = ? And supply teacher = substitute teacher? The way it sounds, someone goes down to the supply room and takes a teacher off the shelf, unplugs them from the charger and presses the power button. hehe.
General Certificate in Secondary Education - basically high school from you guys As for Funny teachers my GCSE Economics teacher is great, we where playing sharades as he got bored (it's only a small class, 10 people or so) and one the guys was acting like a agent acting out "Economic Agent" and our teacher accidentally said "Economic Asian" (don't get the wrong idea, hes not racist and neither are am I) and now every time the the boy mentions it our teacher and most of the class is in stitches. He also gives us jaffa cakes and plays the drums with his shiny bald head. W00t
Nah, High school in the states would be A-Levels over here. GCSEs is more SAT kind of level I think. You take GCSE's around the age of 16 and you have a variable amount that you can choose, most take >10. A-levels are 2 years later and you take 3-4 (sometimes more). Then you goto University based on those results. We used to have a Chemistry teacher that was a complete nut job. He acted like he was stoned. He came into our class once and we were all really quiet, he walked in, went to the end of the room, turned round, then walked out. Double free period.
In NY state, we have "regent exams" covering random subjects and different levels in math, so I guess that's kind of like your exams. It's all somewhat clearer now - thanks.
Chemistry: Mr K: (explaining Kevlar) "Don't worry, it's not named after someone from Stevenage, there's no such thing as Waynelar or Tracelar." Milo: "You really are a relentless bigot, aren't you?"
At uni We had a 9am lecture then an 11am lecture with the same guy. We turned up to the 9am after a pretty heavy night but still bright and sparky. We finished that, had a pint and then went back for the 11am. Unfortunately a pint in the morning after a heavy session reverts you back to your state during the heavy session. After giggling and in fits of histerics for about 30 minutes the lecturer asked "You 5 in the middle, are you DRUNK?!!?", this was followed by a sharp intake of breath by us becuase we thought we were being quiet, then my mate said "snow" instead of "no". Well the lecturer told us to stay behind, and after the lecture he produced a litre bottle of JD and 6 shot glasses lol it turns out the lecturer used to be a roadie for status quo lol brilliant guy!
Wow I used to have a highschool maths teacher who was a complete stoner. Whenever explaining anything he'd randomly add *1 to an equation. I also remember once, when explaining combinatorics, that "if you have three seats but five people wanting one, you can do two things. You either calculate how many combinations you have using 5 nPr 3. Or you can just kill everyone. Whatever." He also pulled one girl up to the front of class every lesson and made her sit in front of him. That was kind of scary. I swear the man was on drugs. Another classic is when I was in my first year of secondary school, and I forgot my maths notebook and I thought I was in real trouble. I went up to my teacher and told him, expecting a lecture, but all he said was "Sh*t happens" and that was it. Spoilt me for the rest of my school career
I have a chemistry teacher who despises clicky pens. If you click them in his class, he grabs them, snaps them and gives them back, that's always good for a laugh. We also have a cover teacher who like to tells us stroies about his weekend. Thing is, these stories tend to involve him calling women fat (his particular favourite is to tell us about when he hit a bloke with a woman's stilletto). Until last year, we had a biology teacher who didn't really know what he was doing and locked a student in a cupboard as a punishment!
two amusing stories that imediatly come to mind, one during A-level physics and another during Offshore Engineering in my second year. A-Level event; We were talking about reaction forces and some people in the class still wernt getting it so Adrian (teacher) decided that it would be a good idea for a practicle. He got two CO2 fire extingishers (sp?) and two wheely office chairs and we had a race down the corridor untill the head of the college came out to find out what the hell all the noise was! Uni experiance. Rather simple but we got a good laugh out of it, Atilla (my lecturer) takes several breaks during his lectures when he teaches Offshore Engineering as there are only seven of us in the class. But on one of his rambles we got onto search engines (somehow) and that we should all go and "Ask the google" Atilla got a few beers out of that one as we proceded to do the lecture in the pub! EDIT:: HOW could i have forgotten the CEE! It was in the first year of Uni during Naval Archatecture and we were all being taught stability equations using "Good thing, bad thing" questions. And of course a Bad thing resulted in a CEE which the lecturer would make us all shout out. CEE standing for Career Ending Event. that was a good class Big P - "and what happens if the center of gravity is higher than the metacentric height?" Class - scilence Big P - "come on we did this last time..." Dave - "erm......Bad thing?" Big P - "correct dave, and we all know what a bad thing is..." Class - "A CEE!"
My first day of school a couple years ago, we had a pretty fat teacher. So this one student decides to be nice to her and assumed she was pregnant so he asked when the baby was expected.
I am pretty sure my Electronics teacher is from Kazakhstan, he is hilarious. In one lecture he is talking about the two main laws of Kirskovs law, while holding up 3 fingers. He does loads of little things like that which make it really funny. O and he was giving a presentation using the whiteboard as a screen, and he tried drawing on the wall as a board, then it was of course permanent! It is still there to this day!
I had a math teacher. (actually, the next year he was my science teacher) he took the class out to the local airfield and took us for a flight in an old veteran spy-plane. That was pretty cool. He also loved to blow up things in the science lessons. He seemed a bit weird, but he was really cool, and was a good teacher. I also had a teacher in my first year of electronics. He loved to blow up caps and scare the crap out of students. One time, a student had made a high voltage circuit. and just as he plugged it in, the teacher hit the underside of the table with a hammer as hard as he could. The student almost had a heart attach.. hehe. He also had lots, and lots of stories to tell.
computer science final project worth 25% of the course mark; assignment: "implement a simple processor in verilog HDL. don't use predefined modules or block layouts." prof @ presentations yesterday: "wow, you guys all did horrible. you're probably getting zeroes" prof ten minutes later: "well i said you could have used predefined modules and block layouts, you shouldn't have had any trouble." us: "no you didn't", point to assignment prof: *shrugs* "oh well" i'm so mad.
Teacher getting fired I was involved in getting a much-hated etcher fired once. When I was in my first year of high school at one point I was ill and was off school from Monday to Friday. When I went back in the next Monday my English teacher (who no one liked since she just shouted at us for anything) said that she had given an essay out the previous Monday to everyone else and they were going to hand it in the next day, since I was back now I could do the essay for tomorrow too. I tried explaining how this wasn't fair or even that possible considering I would have had to read a short book, which the rest of the class read during last week. At home I was working on it for a while before I mentioned what I was doing to my mum. She, being a teacher, thought that this was totally unfair so informed the school and the head of the English department told me that I "Didn't have to do the essay". So I stopped right there and then. Next day in the class before English the teacher got up and left for a few minutes so I took the time to stand up and announce to the class that I was ripping up the essay to spite the English teacher. I did so and threw the pieces in the bin but one person took some of the pieces round to show the teacher. When I got there needless to say the teacher was raging. She shouted at me for a while about how I was being defiant and whatnot. I eventually told her that had been told by the head of the department that I didn't have to do the essay. Teacher did not believe me and shouted some more. (There is nothing like being shouted at by a teacher when you KNOW they are wrong ) So anyway, she sends me to see the depute head of the department since the head is away somewhere. I walk into his class and briefly explain what happened. He simply says "Oh, that’s ok. I've been told about that. Tell your teacher that everything's fine" I walk back into class, teacher asks me what the depute head said. I tell her and I actually thought steam was going to pour out her ears. She clearly didn't believe me so she yelled, REALLY loud and violently for a bit before the depute head came along to see what the problem was. Ended up the teacher claimed I walked in, ripped up stuff infront of her then threw it at her. She also said I was verbally abusing her. The ENTIRE class plus a teaching assistant in the room said elsewise so the depute head asks to see the teacher outside. Never saw her again. I asked my mum what happened (her being a teacher in the same school I figured she'd know) and apparently because she out and out lied she got her "Contract terminated" Chem Teacher My chemistry teacher last year was the type of teacher who is just off his head crazy. Brilliant teacher and really funny though. One time I was absent-mindedly folding some paper in random ways. He thought I was making a paper aeroplane. Ended up he made the entire class make paper aeroplanes for the next 20 mins and we went out into the hall and had a contest to see who could get there plane the furthest
