Jerry Falwell is dead

I'm kind of surprised that nobody has picked up on this. Apparently, Jerry Falwell has died at the age of 73.

If anyone isn't familiar with Falwell, a couple of his claims to fame are founding the Moral Majority Coalition (a sort of offshoot of the original Moral Majority), and the alleged condemnation of Tinky Winky for being a symbol of homosexuality.

Assuming there is a God, I'd love to be a fly on the wall during the conversation going on right now.

-monkey

 

I think more people are celebrating his passage then mourning it.

 

He was a nutter sometimes, but some of his less publicized work in the Christian community was actually important. Besides, hopefully he's where he wanted to be right now.

 

Seriously, I thought someone famous and/or important had died.

 

who ?

 

i am monumentally indifferent.

the level of my nonchalance is heinous.

 

Attempting to give a damn...

Critical Stop: out of care error. Unable to give a damn.

Damn not given. Operation aborted.

It'll go something like this:

God: "Who the hell are you?"

Jerry Falwell: "I'm your servant, Jerry Falwell, Lord!"

God (to himself): "Oh, crap. I forgot all about him. How did he get in here?" (to Jerry): OK, OK, enough already with the servant-Lord stuff. Welcome to heaven. Enjoy your just rewards after a life of pious hardship, etc. Now scram, kid. I'm kind of busy."

Jerry Falwell: "But my Lord, I'm here to serve you and to learn the Truth!"

God: "Well, you've not been doing a great job of it so far."

Jerry Falwell: "What do you mean, my Lord?"

God: "Didn't you read the New Testament? Sermon on the mountain ring a bell? Corinthians 13:13? 'And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity'? Don't feel a certain sense of conflict here with your stance towards homosexuals, for instance?"

Jerry Falwell (to himself): "New Testament?!? When did that one come out?" (to God): "But Lord, these people are sinners and abominations in the eyes of, er, er, You!"

God: "Look here, Jerry. May I call you Jerry? Good, because I'll call you whatever I like. And right now I call you an idiot. Since I am the Creator of all things, didn't it possibly occur to you that I created homosexuals? And since I am perfect, all-knowing and infallible, and My ways inscrutable and not to be questioned by man, didn't it possibly occur to you that I might have done so on purpose, for some really, really good reasons best known to myself?"

Jerry Falwell: "But surely Lord, You cannot be serious?..."

God: "I'm Godly serious, Jerry. Homosexuals are my creation, and I'm damn proud of them, as I am of all my children. I mean, forMysakes, look around you: the fluffy white clouds, the immaculately landscaped gardens, all those white flowing robes, wings, harps, and pearly gates... You think all that was designed by straight people?!?

And what in My name have you got against the Tele-tubbies?!? OK, it's a bit commercialised and derivative at times, but I really liked that show. It mellowed me out. I mean, "Tinky-winky must be gay because he carries a handbag"? The Teletubbies are asexual anthropomorhic stuffed-doll characters for a show aimed at toddlers! What kind of a warped mind agonises about whether they behave in a gender-role appropriate fashion? What kind of twisted f**k obsesses about their sexual orientation?!?"

(long, awkward pause)

Jerry Falwell: "Ah! I know what you are doing!"

God: "Bitch-slapping some sense into you, I hope?"

Jerry Falwell: "You're testing my faith! To see if I'm worthy! But don't worry, Lord, I know what you really mean. I know you are just saying these things, but we both know what you really want us, your servants, to believe and do."

God: "Oh, God..." (rolls eyes)

Jerry Falwell: "We are your most faithful servants, Lord. The most ardent proselytisers of your Word! Everyone will know what you stand for!"

God: "All I can say is: thank Me you're dead already --at least you can't do anymore damage. I should have pulled the plug on you long ago... Just go away kid, and try not to embarrass me any further. And don't upset your room mate, OK? Or I will smite your ass."

Jerry Falwell (puzzled): "My room mate?"

God: "Liberace"

 

He's 73, whoever he was he was going to die soonish.

 

Liberace for a roommate. I guess Falwell didn't end up in Heaven after all.

The amount of television coverage over here was pretty sickening. Everywhere I turned there were images of him shaking hands with this politician or that celebrity. It's a shame to think that he actually influenced people.

I think the only thing saving us from any more Falwell coverage is the death of Martin Luther King's eldest daughter.

-monkey

 

Brilliant post Nexxo

 

well i think some of his more well known quotes deserve to be published

# “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

# "It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."

# "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

# After the September 11 attacks Falwell said, “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."

# “Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions”

# “[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."


from here


certainly someone who brightened the world by leaving it

 

i didn't care much for him, but i'm still gonna miss him. he was a good benchmark for many of the socio-political values i don't conform to. ah well, there's always pat robertson....

and thank you nexxo. very amusing

 

Just dance around the uncomfortable stuff...

Like Hitler's obit would read:

The devoted Chancellor, husband and dog lover passed away this April 30, 1945 surrounded by his closest friends at his Berlin office. Known for his devotion to his country and the advancement of various technologies to improve travel over unimproved ground and previously closed air routes he will undoubtedly be sorely missed. Though his decisions could be called unconventional by some he clearly commanded the respect of his friends, family and followers.