The fans in my case *Now NSFW and seriously off-topic!*

Do they type much when they're dead?

I suppose if there's an infinite amount of deionised dead monkeys, there's still some sort of chance that some will type 90+ WPM?

 

I wonder if that's because:


??

 

Only if you put their still twitching paws on the keyboard. But I find it doesn't work well. They don't listen to a word you say and after a very short while they just stop typing altogether.

Dead monkeys just have no work ethic.

 

Darth Vader isn't as evil as we thought. He's purifying the ocean, gallon jug by gallon jug. It makes perfect sense!

 

no, he is evil. He drops the used filters into fresh water lakes and ponds to raise the salt level of the water to kill every living thing in them.

Am I evil for even coming up with that?

 

F that.

Aside from having no work ethic, dead monkeys only remain deionized for a short period of time - as soon as they come in contact with dust or any other contaminant, it introduces ions and they can conduct electricity again, and poof, they start short-circuiting the typewriters.

This is why you need deionized gorillas, they're much more stable.

 

Too much mass (and mess). Besides, they're a protected species and they know it. They walk around all the time showing these laminated ID cards saying "You can't touch me... ". Their arrogance is really getting up the nose of the other primates (except the Orang-Outangs, who have their own cards) and disrupting team dynamics. I avoid hiring them, except for security where big arrogant lumbering muscle-packed apes are a must.

 

in unrelated news, Japan has completed the greatest achievement known to man

 

coolest, thing, ever!

 

That really makes me think twice about wanting to go skydiving sometime.

 

Why? In case you suddenly stick to any nearby buildings?

 

First one to descend the outside of a skyscraper wearing a "sticky-man" suit wins.

 

thats epic.

 

Don't worry, when you're skydiving, you're much higher up.

 

Awesome! I have to try that!

 

did you watch the last thirty seconds? If I'm going to plow into solid ground at 200mph, I'd at least not like to be nauseous.

 

If you're going to be ploughing into the ground at 200mph, I think the last thing going through your mind would be how nauseous you feel.

Although at that speed, the last thing to go through your mind will probably be your pelvis

 

badum ch'