Other What's ruining your life right now?

Not ruining more irritating...

I went to get petrol just normally and remebered she might be there im over it now and pretty relaxed and all so i went in there... quickly glancing to the right i saw a girl standing at the till which at first thought "Oh good its not her"

So im doing ma thing being sexy and all then i go up to the till and realize it actually is her.... but she looked welll... how do i put it.... Haggered as ****.... i feel harsh saying it but she really was she looked like she was off her face on heroin or something, pale it was odd im pretty sure she said she works 7 days a week then has 4 days off, there probebly long days but wow.. this is coming from a guy who's important parts of his daily routine include
1)Getting out of bed
2) puting clothes on

Lucky im not a shallow ****** so yeh i still found her attractive... im not even sure if she new it was me.... at work im wearing a baseball cap with company logo on it so my hair is almost hidden and i wear my glasses i also had longer hair before

Today shorter spiked hair no glasses and i had'nt shaved she said Hi and all same as me but im not entierly sure whether she recognized it was me and just went along with her daily business or did'nt realize it was me

Either way it was ok, i regret not bringing up the note just to say "Sorry about that i obviously crossed the line" but im sure i will next time i have to get petrol, just would have been nice to end it almost...

 

Daystate. I think Im sorted now more or less, some nice moderator on their 'Daystate Owners Club' forum has stepped in & is forwarding my emails directly to the people they need to go to as such, so Im just waiting on a shipping address & payment details etc before I can send my knackered old Rws Series 500+ in for some much needed tlc.

 

Stomach virus means no visiting in the NICU till I'm better.

 

Went to an amazing show last night.....

Unfortunately two out of the three opening acts (I thought that was excessive to start with....) absolutely sucked, no concept of balanced vocals and music, and both of them had a seriously over the top fetish with effects pedals

on top of that I lost $45 cash crowd surfing, usually I leave my cash in the car, but for some reason I didn't this time, and I didn't put it back in my zipped pocket

 

Neighbors coming round to tell us they're turning the water off for an hour as they're having problems with theirs... or what they actually mean is "we've turned it off" - thanks... it's not like I wanted a drink / clean teeth / shower, this morning.... grrr

 

My monitor died!!!!

Luckily a bit-tech angel is attempting to fix it....

 

I'm far less enthusiastic about life than I was a year ago.
I don't remember the last time I was legitimately happy.

 

Im feeling like this right now aswell

Everything has been going downhill for around a month or two, i have very little to look forward to anymore nothing is going right, im finding it hard to see anytime in the future for this to turn around for me.

Even if i am happy theres always something to bring a downer on the whole thing, and its not that im generally sad and thats not me being manly or anything i don't feel physically upset... its just it gets to me im much more on edge, lose my cool way to easy now and can be a generally aggresive character when it all gets to much.

Further rant: as it makes me feel slightly better

Im kicking myself for not saying more... and im kicking myself for thinking about it again.... all i wanted to say was

"Hey Hannah"
"Im sorry about the note i gave to you, I have obviously crossed the line"

Thats it.... That is seriously all i wanted to say but i just could'nt and it probebly would have done nothing but atleast i would have understood why i got no answer or if she even realized there was an answer to give.... Just life is a bitch

she might have said nothing, but at the moment im finding it difficult to just move on and feel the same about another girl.... Hey maybe i might find someone and feel even more but at the moment its looking unlikely.

All my friends are gone to Uni and such and im not even close enough to speak to them personally about stuff, so i tend to go anonymous through bit-tech which lets face it i've pushed my luck with and try vent and justify why what i am doing seems right to me

 

DP you've got to face it, she was never interested in you that way, which is no reflection on you. Even if you'd spoken to her face to face the result would be the same - she wouldn't be talking to you now or maintaining a friendship. But you'd have spent the next X months kicking yourself if you hadn't done something. Now you know, and you do know if you'll just accept it.

Stop thinking about it by thinking of or doing something else, it's the only way to make it fade in your memory sooner rather than later. There's nothing you can do to change what happened if she won't let you.

[Edited]

 

I know its just so frustrating

And i feel almost out of the picture now that i can't even ask her if she is ok because she just did'nt look right (not just rough) but just not right completely... Just as someone who cares in general

Its difficult to just let it go on such a cut off ending without knowing why she did'nt want to stay friends if she text me saying "Best we don't stay friends would be awkward" then you accept that

I know she was never intrested in me thats obvious i can't do anything about that but to just have it left like that is really difficult

I have to move on and slowly i am but i just get moments where you think about her and man its difficult

 

Turns out this girl at work I was going to ask out today is seeing someone. But they're not actually properly together, still a chance? Not too sure, all I know is it's a little despressing.

 

If there not then let her know how you feel... Don't pull a DP and end up like me....

 

Well it turns out they barely see each other, so by my logic if I try and see her more often than he does and obviously be better to be around than him then I get my chance. Another extrapolation of mine is that they aren't interested enough in each other otherwise they'd make the effort to see each other more; I have a car, money and spare time on my hands, I could possibly swing this..

 

heheheehehe you said DP.... /childoff

 

lol DP.


Snow storm knocked out one of our PSAP T1s. Phones are lighting up like Christmas Trees

 

Going down hill again. Really there's just so little I genuinely care about. Shame.

 

Just life in general

No vigor to do anything, valentines tommorow and i don't have anyone to go and treat

 

Finished my January A-level exams and now I have no motivation for anything. Also no money and unwillingness to aim high after receiving a nice low back up offer

 

hehehe DP


nothing ruining my life

 

Looking at cars... again >.<

It's £1600 cheaper for me to insure a 1.8 Audi A3 than it is a BMW 316...

It's still £2400 though >.<