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Old 8th Mar 2014, 00:26   #93
Porkins' Wingman
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Originally Posted by Darkwisdom View Post
My definition of marriage is a religious or purely ritual affair.

It originates in tribal alliances and religious rituals. You do it for religion, because you love your spouse and you vow to love them before your god, or you're a tribesman and you marry off your child to the child of another tribe to bond alliances. I never believed in marriage and I still really don't. I plan to marry my long term partner because I love her and it is what she wants for us to be a 'real family', not because I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

However, in this current time where marriage is seen to not be completely necessary; I keep seeing it as a show or dance to show people "we love each other and feel we need to be married to prove it". My opinion only, don't crucify me if you disagree. I don't believe in any kind of religion and marriage is something to cement you to your "god" as a way to show 'him' that you are a good christian/muslim/whatever you are.
I know we're debating here, and I've got no business butting in here, but have you done your partner the favour of being honest about how you feel on this? If not, better get it out in the open now than her find out her idealised marriage is really just pretend, however many years down the line. I see you put 'real family' in inverted commas, from which I think you're inferring you recognise there's no such thing. You also refer to the 'show or dance' aspect, implying if you were to marry you would be having to bite your tongue during the whole planning and execution of the occasion. It might be what she wants, but she's not going to get it while you feel like that. A marriage with no integrity behind one half of it is not what she wants, is it?

And Walle wouldn't like it either, another nail in the coffin of his 'institution'.

I ain't judging, but it does bug me the way guys 'give in' to their partners when their partners have still got their head in the 'princess... happy ever after' BS of marriage, or just think it's the 'done thing'.

For what it's worth, I've been steady with my partner for 13 years, one kid and another on the way. That's right, Walle - *******s! Can you believe it? I've always told her I won't get married because I think it's a pointless submission of your individuality to the other person, to the society that will enforce the legality behind it, and because I've got no interest in doing the 'done thing'. I've got no interest in social cohesion.

Walle's insistence that it's just how our culture is is toss in my eyes. The individuals that a society/culture comprises of determine the society/culture, or at least have the opportunity to, not the other way around, unless you're in a herd of sheep. To take your beliefs from your culture rather than your own individual empirical experiences and thoughts is intellectually retarded, lacking in any demonstration of independent determination.

Taking my post from the Ukraine thread:

I always wonder about the need/want/motive to marry.

Why do two people need to marry? What are the motives of the proposer and the accepter? Something tells me the very first incidence of marriage in human history was not because the two people just wanted to be together forevs, and that it wasn't entirely voluntary for one or both halves of the union. Put two people on an island alone - are they going to get married?

Notions of 'love' and romance have just been weaved in as a marketing strategy to promote social stability. At some point in human history someone invented the concept, and it most likely wasn't because they were one half of a couple that shared mutual love, respect and rights. More likely it was someone who wanted to shape their society (or at the very least, their relationship with the other person) in a manner that favoured their own interests, exerting some sort of control. Not healthy footsteps to be following...

Because of the way I feel about marriage, it gets me wondering what Nexxo's reasons were for marrying, given his intellectual roundedness. Care to share, Nexxo?

And don't no-one go pulling the 'romance' card on me, there's no room for that **** in a debate
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Last edited by Porkins' Wingman; 8th Mar 2014 at 00:31.
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