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LennyRhys · 11th Jan 2013, 19:42

Speechless, Kayin, but moved and encouraged by your unwavering trust and hope in the Good Shepherd.

Cei · 11th Jan 2013, 22:11

Kayin,

I can't express my utmost sympathy and thoughts for you and you family at this time. Unfortunately I see and experience your situation on a regular basis, although exact circumstances may change, but every time it breaks my heart to pieces.

I wish I could stand by your side, and at the graveside of your son, as I do for every patient that I see who passes from this mortal realm. Alas, I cannot, but my thoughts are with you and your family, and I wish you all the very best.

DXR_13KE · 11th Jan 2013, 23:52

Os meus pesames.

He is in a better place.

bodkin · 12th Jan 2013, 22:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomhyde1986

That's one of the most inspiring, thought provoking and frankly amazing forum posts I've ever read and probably will ever read. Those photos are wonderful too.

"Nobody is ever gone who lives on in happy memories". I think that says my thoughts better than anything I could come up with.

Suddenly all the things that are anoying me or winding me up on a daily basis in my life fade into utter insignificance.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

He put it better than I ever could. You and your family are in my thoughts.

kenco_uk · 12th Jan 2013, 23:41

Jeez, it's an incredible deck of cards you've been dealt Kayin. Peace be with you.

monkiboi · 13th Jan 2013, 11:19

It's the saddest thing when a parent has to bury their child. It's goes against the natural order of things.

My condolences to you.

Bindibadgi · 13th Jan 2013, 13:01

Such a beautiful boy.

Take pride in what you gave him and he gave you in your short time together.

Take care, K.

sp4nky · 13th Jan 2013, 13:21

Damn, that's a sad read, but uplifting in a way. I'm glad that with the deck stacked against you and your son, he found happiness and that you're outlook is as positive as it seems.

richythomas · 13th Jan 2013, 15:32

What lovely words for your very beautiful son which brought floods of tears to my eyes for your words and the memories of my little nephew who wasn't even a few days old. My entire families most sincere thoughts are with you at this time.

*Alex* · 13th Jan 2013, 19:56

I don't really ever know the words to say Kayin, but you words bought a tear to my eye you really are a good man and I don't know how you deal with all this you bring me inspiration to deal with my own problems, my thoughts are with you...

take care man

alex

AmEv · 13th Jan 2013, 21:04

I cannot imagine what you were felling, and now are. I had high hopes that he would live to be a teenager, despite all odds. Sort of like the fastest woman who almost lost her legs, I'd hoped your son would become one of the smartest of his generation.

However, I have special comfort in knowing that your son's time was short. A short-lived beacon to remind us how fragile life really is, that what we argue about is trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Snort, even though I never met you, I will miss you 'til I see you again.

God be with you. With you and your family. Until we meet again.

Skyphox · 14th Jan 2013, 10:38

God bless you mate.

BennieboyUK · 14th Jan 2013, 11:59

My thoughts are with you and yours. Thank you for sharing this, such an amazing little boy - he looked so happy, as a father myself those words and expressions you used touched me.

Ben

jrs77 · 14th Jan 2013, 13:00

I never had to bury a child, as I don't have any myself. However I burried way too many friends of mine, when they were just too young to die, so I feel your pain.

Talking to people about it and writing down your thoughts is a good way to deal with your feelings and it is a good way to keep your little son remembered.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Mechh69 · 14th Jan 2013, 13:25

I know it probably means little but I really feel for you and I hope your beautiful son visits you often in your thoughts and dreams as i'm sure he does. I was God's plan for him to only be here for a brief moment to remind us all how precious life is and how much one little person can effect us so much with unconditional love. There are a few bright spots non the less (and I'm not usually one for those) but for a short time he brought love and joy in to both your lives, his suffering has ended, and now he is in a much better place with God watching over you both. I have a suggestion for you, But now is not the time please PM me with a portion of this message when the pain eases a bit and I will make it. I wish the best for you and your family in this time of need, and I will pray for you tonight as I know he is safe in Heaven.

flame696 · 14th Jan 2013, 16:27

reading what you wrote made me cry, im so sorry for your loss my condolences to you and you partner. I cant even imagine the pain you must be going through but for its worth we the bit-tech community are here for you.

God bless you Kayin you son is in heaven smiling down on you

Tynecider · 14th Jan 2013, 23:55

I am so very sorry for your loss Kayin

KayinBlack · 10th Feb 2013, 02:54

We've received all the PMs, read the well wishes, and I wanted to say a bit a month out, so people knew we were (somewhat) OK.

Except well, we're not. I don't think it ever gets OK, but you learn how to pick up and go on. We've both had some spectacular breakdowns. And if you think men don't cry, well, you haven't given them a good enough reason. I didn't just cry, I flipped out, tried to put my fist through an insulated steel door, kicked over half my work area, the works. Hand is fine, I know way too much about how to throw a punch, but the workstation didn't survive so well. Still putting stuff back together on that. But I'm only human, and I will screw things up, and I will get upset, and even I have a point when enough is enough.

I'm sure many people wonder (even if they don't ask) if I blamed God for this. And even if you didn't ask, you deserve an answer. No apologies if it's not a neat and easy one-any proper question worth asking never has a simple answer.

I don't blame God for taking my son, as sick as he was. He needed freedom from the pain-and I can't even begin to imagine how bad it was. I walk around with three breaks in my back-but his spine was bent 90 degrees. His organs were crushing his lungs and heart at the end, and nothing they did could get them through that kind of injury. Had he not gotten sick, it could have happened at any time anyway, and imagine holding your dying son in the floor of your house as you hoped an ambulance would get there on time and he wouldn't die in it on the way to a hospital. We were spared that. We knew he had what pain control they could give him, they had done everything medically possible, and we sat and held him as he passed. It was simply his time.

But I did scream at the sky about something else. I wanted to know why we, who were supposed to be completely sterile and who fought so hard and sacrificed everything for our son had to endure this while there were people who didn't care anything about their children had healthy children that never really seemed to come to harm from their great stupidity. And I don't have an answer. Instead, I have a grave plot I visit when I can stand it. I have my son's favorite stuffed animal. And I have more pain than it should be possible to endure, but I do not die from it, though I begged to. I begged to join him, if God wouldn't take me instead. God did not. My beautiful son is dead, and I have to watch these idiots every day mistreat their kids and take them for granted. And that is the meaning of hell, I think.

In the end, do I think that his death was God's will? Yes. And I think that it was a release for him, and that his little heart must have prayed for it. And God honored that prayer over mine, because his need was bigger than mine. And I do not blame God for it-I still have the memories, but I knew he could not live long. Each of us has a lot in life, and it is up to us how we use it, because none of us are promised tomorrow. His tomorrows ran out, so shall mine. So shall yours. And one day, I'll do it tomorrow will go undone for all of us. This is Asher's lesson-there is no time. Don't procrastinate, but live life to the fullest-for it is gone in an instant, a candle's brief flicker and gone.

We found it fitting that it rained for ten days straight when Asher died. It's as though Heaven was sad for us. It gets us through. There are really no words, no way to express this hellish emptiness, just a long, gibbering howl of sorrow. I'm lucky I have five acres to disappear into when those times come. It's not as often as before, but they still come. As I suspect they always will. And I have not given in to madness, but I think this must be what it's like.

We are not isolating ourselves, so nobody worries. We've made plans to attend church for the first time since his death tomorrow, at a small place near the house that if we slip out because we can't stand it any more they won't mind. With this the week of Mardi Gras, while we don't party we observe Lent, so we'll be out for Ash Wednesday services. We haven't give up completely on humanity. But even as a counselor I had no idea at all how hard it would be.

I believe he's truly at peace. And that is what actually matters. If I'm sad, so be it. If it hurts me, oh well. My son's health, safety and happiness have always been my prime concern, and my own state an afterthought. But I think about how he left us, with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face, as if he saw someone he had been expecting for a long time. I know it couldn't be us, the anoxic episode had blinded him. I saw my son see Heaven, and that's all the proof I'll ever need. This is the truth I hold on to in the long watches of the night. It is a hard truth, but beautiful. I don't blame God because I saw him take my son home. Call me a fool if you like, but at least I can endure because of it.

The PMs, the well wishes, we have seen it all and we thank you. We are learning to live all over again, and your support is more a help than you think. Even though he's gone, he still manages to touch our lives. This truly is the power of love, and I am thankful that this wretch got to see it.

Elton · 15th Feb 2013, 15:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by KayinBlack

We've received all the PMs, read the well wishes, and I wanted to say a bit a month out, so people knew we were (somewhat) OK.

Except well, we're not. I don't think it ever gets OK, but you learn how to pick up and go on. We've both had some spectacular breakdowns. And if you think men don't cry, well, you haven't given them a good enough reason. I didn't just cry, I flipped out, tried to put my fist through an insulated steel door, kicked over half my work area, the works. Hand is fine, I know way too much about how to throw a punch, but the workstation didn't survive so well. Still putting stuff back together on that. But I'm only human, and I will screw things up, and I will get upset, and even I have a point when enough is enough.

I'm sure many people wonder (even if they don't ask) if I blamed God for this. And even if you didn't ask, you deserve an answer. No apologies if it's not a neat and easy one-any proper question worth asking never has a simple answer.

I don't blame God for taking my son, as sick as he was. He needed freedom from the pain-and I can't even begin to imagine how bad it was. I walk around with three breaks in my back-but his spine was bent 90 degrees. His organs were crushing his lungs and heart at the end, and nothing they did could get them through that kind of injury. Had he not gotten sick, it could have happened at any time anyway, and imagine holding your dying son in the floor of your house as you hoped an ambulance would get there on time and he wouldn't die in it on the way to a hospital. We were spared that. We knew he had what pain control they could give him, they had done everything medically possible, and we sat and held him as he passed. It was simply his time.

But I did scream at the sky about something else. I wanted to know why we, who were supposed to be completely sterile and who fought so hard and sacrificed everything for our son had to endure this while there were people who didn't care anything about their children had healthy children that never really seemed to come to harm from their great stupidity. And I don't have an answer. Instead, I have a grave plot I visit when I can stand it. I have my son's favorite stuffed animal. And I have more pain than it should be possible to endure, but I do not die from it, though I begged to. I begged to join him, if God wouldn't take me instead. God did not. My beautiful son is dead, and I have to watch these idiots every day mistreat their kids and take them for granted. And that is the meaning of hell, I think.

In the end, do I think that his death was God's will? Yes. And I think that it was a release for him, and that his little heart must have prayed for it. And God honored that prayer over mine, because his need was bigger than mine. And I do not blame God for it-I still have the memories, but I knew he could not live long. Each of us has a lot in life, and it is up to us how we use it, because none of us are promised tomorrow. His tomorrows ran out, so shall mine. So shall yours. And one day, I'll do it tomorrow will go undone for all of us. This is Asher's lesson-there is no time. Don't procrastinate, but live life to the fullest-for it is gone in an instant, a candle's brief flicker and gone.

We found it fitting that it rained for ten days straight when Asher died. It's as though Heaven was sad for us. It gets us through. There are really no words, no way to express this hellish emptiness, just a long, gibbering howl of sorrow. I'm lucky I have five acres to disappear into when those times come. It's not as often as before, but they still come. As I suspect they always will. And I have not given in to madness, but I think this must be what it's like.

We are not isolating ourselves, so nobody worries. We've made plans to attend church for the first time since his death tomorrow, at a small place near the house that if we slip out because we can't stand it any more they won't mind. With this the week of Mardi Gras, while we don't party we observe Lent, so we'll be out for Ash Wednesday services. We haven't give up completely on humanity. But even as a counselor I had no idea at all how hard it would be.

I believe he's truly at peace. And that is what actually matters. If I'm sad, so be it. If it hurts me, oh well. My son's health, safety and happiness have always been my prime concern, and my own state an afterthought. But I think about how he left us, with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face, as if he saw someone he had been expecting for a long time. I know it couldn't be us, the anoxic episode had blinded him. I saw my son see Heaven, and that's all the proof I'll ever need. This is the truth I hold on to in the long watches of the night. It is a hard truth, but beautiful. I don't blame God because I saw him take my son home. Call me a fool if you like, but at least I can endure because of it.

The PMs, the well wishes, we have seen it all and we thank you. We are learning to live all over again, and your support is more a help than you think. Even though he's gone, he still manages to touch our lives. This truly is the power of love, and I am thankful that this wretch got to see it.

Words that move. May peace remain with you.

KMS-oul · 17th Feb 2013, 20:10

I don’t visit bit-tech often. I only came on today to ask for a price check. However I am glad I did so that I could stumble upon your post. Your post move me like no other. In some ways your post help reoriented myself from my silly worries. Thank you for sharing, and even though I don’t know you, my thoughts are with you and your family. Please take care.

11th Jan 2013, 19:42	#21
LennyRhys Silenced Join Date: May 2011 Location: Dundee, Scotland Posts: 3,388	Speechless, Kayin, but moved and encouraged by your unwavering trust and hope in the Good Shepherd. __________________ i7 930 @ 4.2 :: Gigabyte X58 USB3 :: 6GB Elpida @ 1528MHz 6-7-6-18-1T GTX480 SE :: Toughpower 775w :: 320GB & 2TB :: Cherry G80-3000HSMGB

11th Jan 2013, 22:11	#22
Cei pew pew pew Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 2,000	Kayin, I can't express my utmost sympathy and thoughts for you and you family at this time. Unfortunately I see and experience your situation on a regular basis, although exact circumstances may change, but every time it breaks my heart to pieces. I wish I could stand by your side, and at the graveside of your son, as I do for every patient that I see who passes from this mortal realm. Alas, I cannot, but my thoughts are with you and your family, and I wish you all the very best. __________________ i7 3770 \| Asus RoG Maximus V Gene Z77 \| 8GB 1600Mhz Vengeance \| Crucial M4 256 & 128GB \| Corsair H80 + Gentle Typhoons \| Corsair AX750 \| EVGA GTX 680 SC 2GB \| Xonar DX \| Silverstone FT03

11th Jan 2013, 23:52	#23
DXR_13KE Madeira's banana is the best!!! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Madeira ; Portugal Posts: 8,727	Os meus pesames. He is in a better place. __________________ Free game --->Renegade X: Black Dawn - Download Now!

12th Jan 2013, 23:41	#25
kenco_uk I unsuccessfully then tried again Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bourne, Lincolnshire, UK Posts: 9,066	Jeez, it's an incredible deck of cards you've been dealt Kayin. Peace be with you. __________________ Mac:Macbook Pro 7,1 w/Samsung 830 256GB, ML xbmc:Windows 8 x64, Fractal Design Node 304, MSI Z77IA-E53, G2120 fanless, 2x2GB, 3TB, Samsung 830 256GB dazzypops:Win8Prox64, i5-2500k@4.3, 8GB, 4TB, Samsung 840 Pro 256GB, MSI GTX660 (+110core, +535mem), LG IPS 24", Z5400 5.1 Put my hands behind my head, crouch down and fall forwards - that's how I roll.

13th Jan 2013, 11:19	#26
monkiboi Modder Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 50	It's the saddest thing when a parent has to bury their child. It's goes against the natural order of things. My condolences to you. __________________ C2D E8400 (@3600), Biostar I45 T-Power motherboard, 2x 2Gb 1066 OCZ Reaper, Powercolor HD5850 (stock speed with Accellero S1.2 heatsink), Coolermaster 500W PSU

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13th Jan 2013, 13:01	#27
Bindibadgi Omnipwntent Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: ASUS HQ Posts: 34,010	Such a beautiful boy. Take pride in what you gave him and he gave you in your short time together. Take care, K. __________________ Slash88: That kettle video just made me go death thanks. Fizzban: And it is being panda'd to..lame.

13th Jan 2013, 13:21	#28
sp4nky BF3: Aardfrith WoT: McGubbins Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,562	Damn, that's a sad read, but uplifting in a way. I'm glad that with the deck stacked against you and your son, he found happiness and that you're outlook is as positive as it seems. __________________ World of Tanks Player name: McGubbins

13th Jan 2013, 15:32	#29
richythomas Multimodder Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Alloa, UK Posts: 115	What lovely words for your very beautiful son which brought floods of tears to my eyes for your words and the memories of my little nephew who wasn't even a few days old. My entire families most sincere thoughts are with you at this time. __________________ CPU: 3570K Cooler: Corsair H50 RAM: 16GB Corsair Vengance 1,600MHz MB: ASUS Maximus V Gene GFX: ASUS DirectCU II 2GB GTX670 Sound: Creative x-Fi Titanium PCIe & Logitech Z506 5.1 Speakers SSD: 2 x 256GB Crucial M4 Case: P180 Mini LCD: 2 x HP2210i OS: Windows 8 Pro

13th Jan 2013, 19:56	#30
Alex Supermodder Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Devon/Stafford Posts: 441	I don't really ever know the words to say Kayin, but you words bought a tear to my eye you really are a good man and I don't know how you deal with all this you bring me inspiration to deal with my own problems, my thoughts are with you... take care man alex

14th Jan 2013, 10:38	#32
Skyphox Multimodder Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Liverpool, UK Posts: 78	God bless you mate. __________________ i7-2600K @ 4.3ghz \| 16GB DDR3 Corsair Vengeance \| Asus P8Z68-V PRO/GEN3 \| GIGABYTE Super Overclock GeForce GTX 460 GPU \| Intel X25-M 80gb ssd

14th Jan 2013, 11:59	#33
BennieboyUK CPC Folder of the Month Sep 2011 Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 1,237	My thoughts are with you and yours. Thank you for sharing this, such an amazing little boy - he looked so happy, as a father myself those words and expressions you used touched me. Ben __________________ i7 980x @ 4.4Ghz\|12GB Dominator GT 2133mhz\|Rampage III\|4gb GTX 680 Classified's SLI\|830 256GB\|Antec 1200w\|PF1000\|R3\|U2711 Hyper-V 2012: Dell 1900 \| Dual Xeon E5320 \| 32GB DDR2 ECC \| LSI @ Raid5 5.452tb WHS: 8gb HP N40L 10tb x8 WD 2tb RED's Raid 6+1 on SRCSASBB8I with BBU

14th Jan 2013, 13:00	#34
jrs77 theorycrafting Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Finland Posts: 2,545	I never had to bury a child, as I don't have any myself. However I burried way too many friends of mine, when they were just too young to die, so I feel your pain. Talking to people about it and writing down your thoughts is a good way to deal with your feelings and it is a good way to keep your little son remembered. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. __________________ ...and allways remember, that the world is an orange! Define Mini Black [Gigabyte Z77MX-D3H \| intel i5-3450 \| Kingston HyperX DDR3-1600 8GB \| Gigabyte GTX660OC Windforce2 \| intel 330 120GB \| WD AV GP 1TB]

14th Jan 2013, 16:27	#36
flame696 Terminating People Since 1980.... Join Date: May 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,287	reading what you wrote made me cry, im so sorry for your loss my condolences to you and you partner. I cant even imagine the pain you must be going through but for its worth we the bit-tech community are here for you. God bless you Kayin you son is in heaven smiling down on you __________________ The Rig: i7 3770K @ 4.6Ghz/ Asus Maximus Gene V/ 16Gb Corsair Vengeance (Red) / 120Gb Kingston V+200 SSD / Asus HD7970 / Corsair AX850 / CM Storm Trooper / Mionix Zibal 60 / The Water: EK Supreme HF CPU Block / EK 7970 CSQ GPU Block / XSPC H2O 750 V4 / 2 x 240mm AlphaCool NeXXXos UT60 RADs / The Project: Antec TwelvOrange

14th Jan 2013, 23:55	#37
Tynecider Since ZX81 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: North East UK Posts: 509	I am so very sorry for your loss Kayin __________________ Sent from Discovery One using HAL 9000 __________________________________________________ _________________ Rig under construction

10th Feb 2013, 02:54	#38
KayinBlack I Endure Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Jasper, AL Posts: 4,430	We've received all the PMs, read the well wishes, and I wanted to say a bit a month out, so people knew we were (somewhat) OK. Except well, we're not. I don't think it ever gets OK, but you learn how to pick up and go on. We've both had some spectacular breakdowns. And if you think men don't cry, well, you haven't given them a good enough reason. I didn't just cry, I flipped out, tried to put my fist through an insulated steel door, kicked over half my work area, the works. Hand is fine, I know way too much about how to throw a punch, but the workstation didn't survive so well. Still putting stuff back together on that. But I'm only human, and I will screw things up, and I will get upset, and even I have a point when enough is enough. I'm sure many people wonder (even if they don't ask) if I blamed God for this. And even if you didn't ask, you deserve an answer. No apologies if it's not a neat and easy one-any proper question worth asking never has a simple answer. I don't blame God for taking my son, as sick as he was. He needed freedom from the pain-and I can't even begin to imagine how bad it was. I walk around with three breaks in my back-but his spine was bent 90 degrees. His organs were crushing his lungs and heart at the end, and nothing they did could get them through that kind of injury. Had he not gotten sick, it could have happened at any time anyway, and imagine holding your dying son in the floor of your house as you hoped an ambulance would get there on time and he wouldn't die in it on the way to a hospital. We were spared that. We knew he had what pain control they could give him, they had done everything medically possible, and we sat and held him as he passed. It was simply his time. But I did scream at the sky about something else. I wanted to know why we, who were supposed to be completely sterile and who fought so hard and sacrificed everything for our son had to endure this while there were people who didn't care anything about their children had healthy children that never really seemed to come to harm from their great stupidity. And I don't have an answer. Instead, I have a grave plot I visit when I can stand it. I have my son's favorite stuffed animal. And I have more pain than it should be possible to endure, but I do not die from it, though I begged to. I begged to join him, if God wouldn't take me instead. God did not. My beautiful son is dead, and I have to watch these idiots every day mistreat their kids and take them for granted. And that is the meaning of hell, I think. In the end, do I think that his death was God's will? Yes. And I think that it was a release for him, and that his little heart must have prayed for it. And God honored that prayer over mine, because his need was bigger than mine. And I do not blame God for it-I still have the memories, but I knew he could not live long. Each of us has a lot in life, and it is up to us how we use it, because none of us are promised tomorrow. His tomorrows ran out, so shall mine. So shall yours. And one day, I'll do it tomorrow will go undone for all of us. This is Asher's lesson-there is no time. Don't procrastinate, but live life to the fullest-for it is gone in an instant, a candle's brief flicker and gone. We found it fitting that it rained for ten days straight when Asher died. It's as though Heaven was sad for us. It gets us through. There are really no words, no way to express this hellish emptiness, just a long, gibbering howl of sorrow. I'm lucky I have five acres to disappear into when those times come. It's not as often as before, but they still come. As I suspect they always will. And I have not given in to madness, but I think this must be what it's like. We are not isolating ourselves, so nobody worries. We've made plans to attend church for the first time since his death tomorrow, at a small place near the house that if we slip out because we can't stand it any more they won't mind. With this the week of Mardi Gras, while we don't party we observe Lent, so we'll be out for Ash Wednesday services. We haven't give up completely on humanity. But even as a counselor I had no idea at all how hard it would be. I believe he's truly at peace. And that is what actually matters. If I'm sad, so be it. If it hurts me, oh well. My son's health, safety and happiness have always been my prime concern, and my own state an afterthought. But I think about how he left us, with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face, as if he saw someone he had been expecting for a long time. I know it couldn't be us, the anoxic episode had blinded him. I saw my son see Heaven, and that's all the proof I'll ever need. This is the truth I hold on to in the long watches of the night. It is a hard truth, but beautiful. I don't blame God because I saw him take my son home. Call me a fool if you like, but at least I can endure because of it. The PMs, the well wishes, we have seen it all and we thank you. We are learning to live all over again, and your support is more a help than you think. Even though he's gone, he still manages to touch our lives. This truly is the power of love, and I am thankful that this wretch got to see it. __________________ I don't feed the trolls... Quit chopping up the locals to make tools.-Cheapskate

17th Feb 2013, 20:10	#40
KMS-oul You think you know me. Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 1,346	I don’t visit bit-tech often. I only came on today to ask for a price check. However I am glad I did so that I could stumble upon your post. Your post move me like no other. In some ways your post help reoriented myself from my silly worries. Thank you for sharing, and even though I don’t know you, my thoughts are with you and your family. Please take care.