You're not alone there partner.. I went through something very similar with my ex. There were no children involved but I was living overseas and basically she took me for everything I had. Like you I should have seen the signs but didn't, and she took me for everything she could get. Thankfully when she tried the "Put your car in both of our names" I did have a moment of clarity and refused. Which was a good thing, considering I needed it to drive around in or I wouldn't have even made it back to the U.K. That ended up (the car) as my only possession and was my route home. Not nice being stranded in a country 4500 miles away from your family.. It does get easier, so hang in there man !
Oh dear god... I really don't know what to say Simon. My dad has just been fleeced all the same for his companies. I'm truly shocked, and all I can really say is that I hope it gets better. All the best to you.
It takes a long time TG. The irony of my situation, albeit 12 years ago was that my ex moved to Padstow near Cornwall to be near her mum who she barely got on with taking my two year old with her. I moved to Exmouth to stay close so as to see her every weekend. It didn't work out and, due to alienation and getting involved in a lot of fights, I moved back home to essex. One year later, the letters I sent were being returned to sender. They had gone off grid. But CSA in Plymouth still wanted an extraordinary £480 per month upkeep (it was assessed differently then). I had no rights as my ex and I were unmarried apart from she would have to ask me to change my daughters name. She didn't. I too went on the medication for a while, it blows over, but I kept an eye out, used t'internet, etc. On her eleventh birthday, with no contact for nigh on eight years, I get a call from ex saying daughter would like to speak to me and meet up! I'm still walking on eggshells to this day but I have a new wife, new home and two new kids! It will get better and this is the **** that makes life what it is... So you can get through it... Chin up sonny jim... You'll get through!
Wow, no experience of this dude, but I think I speak for everyone on Bit Tech when I say that we are sorry to hear that, and are willing to offer any and all support to you during this very difficult time! You are probably pretty worried about your kids at the moment, and all I'll say is that a great many of my friends parents are divorced, and they are all top notch people, so although its upsetting for them at the moment, I'm sure they will turn out just fine. Keep chatting here mate, might be a good outlet.
Get to a soliciter, get as much evidence of her actions as you can, get legal access to your daughter asap. Holy ****. Bro hug dude
Hearing things like this make me seriously demoted... It's one thing to be nasty to each other in a bad breakup, but manipulating the children is another level reserved for the most pathetic people. Hope you get yourself sorted TG - the best course is to get some legal help yourself, get the house sold and try and get on with your lives as best you can. Get it all written down, don't rely on memory later, even if it's not very clear you can decypher it later.
So sorry to hear that things have turned so sour. Unfortunately it's not uncommon. But if I may I'd like to give you a bit of advice. Do not walk away from everything. I know it seems the easy and preferred option but when children are involved it isn't. If the ex is being like this now she most likely will be for a long time to come. What I'm trying to say is she's going to make it hell for you whatever you do, and most likely will continue to pursue the CSA issue for a long time to come, the next time you get work for instance. So get yourself a solicitor at a good family law practice, not a general one, because you're going to need it if you want to continue seeing your daughter regularly. And as bad as this sounds, try to record your daughter's conversations when she opens up to your sister - if your ex starts being difficult re access it may help your situation. Chin up and try to find the strength to fight for what's rightfully yours. I don't have children myself but I've been the supportive new partner a couple of times in this situation and I know it's no picnic
True gamer that absolutely blows sorry man. Wait she left you for another man yet she's after CSA and wanting to to sell all your stuff? Bollox to that! That's your home brosith Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
Bud I'm at work in total shock. I've got divorced but remarried her and been happy since. But in your case is totally different. It's easy to say stay strong. But I'm telling you stay strong and prove who is the better person. You will have loads of people to talk to here and I for one will be here for you to talk to. TG I know it's easy for me to say this but look to the future bud and be strong for your daughters sake. You know you are better than the ex, do not not let her win.
Wow. That's insane. I echo the sentiments of obtaining a solicitor, or some legal pool of advice, and getting everything down in writing. Just remember that you can't murder someone, no matter how much of a shitheel they've been.
Unfortunately ( and this has never happened before ) i may have to agree wit Evo. She's claiming CSA? Does she not work? Does this Jason not work? There will be a LOT of variables that come into play. Guess what, i got the payments to under £100 per month on an online calculator. See a family law solicitor as they can help you A LOT. They will tell you exactly what monies are owed at this point. Find photographs of your house and detail all of the items they have removed that you can claim ownership of. Even joint ownership as most things in the house are going to be classed as half yours. I appreciate you are in a very bad situation. My mum and dad went through a very bad divorce and it got very nasty but my dad faught through it and is a lot better off as the initial demands from the solicitor was for 10 years of his wages the houses and 200,000 pounds cash lump sum. Mum got one house and 10th of wages for 10 years. See a solicitor before you go ahead with anything else. They will give you the best advice. Most of all, look after yourself. It will be a **** 12 month period but it will get better.
Evidently, at the age of 16, I have no experience of these things. I just have three general bits of advice: 1. Get legal advice. The Citizens Advice Bureau can be a good place to start, since they may have a list of people willing to do cutprice advice / even pro bono work. 2. Stay for your daughter. If you had driven off your lorry, you could say goodbye to your daughter, even if you survived: the state doesn't like people in such a state near children. Your wife may be manipulating your daughter, but you are still her daddy and she still cares about you. Note how she calls him Jason, and not Daddy. 3. The world is full of a-holes. Don't be the a-hole. Tl;dr: she's been a jerk, don't be a jerk, stay for your daughter, get lawyered up.
Mate this is terrible, and it seems that this has been a calculated attack, which makes it worse whether thats the case or not. I wish you all the best, but you need to keep yourself strong and keep chugging along. I don't know if you're still gaming, but if you ever want to get online and chill for a bit ping me a message and I'll send you a TS address.
Sorry to hear this bro. Some people take a long time to show their true colours, and when they do it's really not pretty. I'm sure us here at BT will support you in whatever way we can.
TG that's rubbish I'm really sorry to hear that. It's a shame you are not in this area as most of my clients are lawyers/law firms and some of them specialise in family law and I could of hooked you up with a goodie. You definitely need to get some decent advise - and don't act on what you think is preferable now, get some advise and get them to help you through this rubbish situation.
Simon if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. I can't give any qualified advice, but I'd echo the sentiments above; arm yourself with as much information as you can, be as transparent as you can, and keep loving that little girl because only you will ever be her daddy. It's really heartbreaking to hear of this happening to anyone, and all I will say to you is that at some point in the future, you'll look back at this time and go "wow, that was rough." But things will get back to normal before too long - just a different kind of normal to what you're used to.
Simon, if you do decide to engage a solicitor but don't know of a good one perhaps Margon could ask one of his clients to recommend a good one in your area as they may well know one. A good one who'll fight in your corner can make a huge difference. I hope you don't mind me suggesting that Margon.
Good god, that's terrible. I have absolutely no knowledge of (let alone experience with) these things, so I can only advice you to stay strong and just get through this rough part in life. Do what's best for your daughter, try to get her involved as little as possible. When kids get caught up in this, things start to get really messy. Know that the whole of Bit-Tech is behind you.
