1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My end of employment quandary

Discussion in 'Serious' started by TheStockBroker, 23 Apr 2014.

  1. TheStockBroker

    TheStockBroker Modder

    Joined:
    19 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    1,533
    Likes Received:
    110
    Like many of you, I'm currently employed. To me, looking back over the last 2ish years, it's been a job and far from the career I felt I had embarked on at my previous place of work.

    Before, I had career prospects - room to learn, grow, and progress up the ladder. Here I feel like I have nothing - nowhere to go except sideways and no reason to invest myself at all, my volume and quality of work has been in (un?)steady decline for months. I've grown to hate the job, due in part to my boss who is heinously unreasonable at the best of times and unpredictable and untrustworthy at the worst.

    I'm under no illusion that my time here is done, but there are a few personal things I need to take care of before I can move on - a few months work perhaps - and this is presenting me with a small dilemma at the moment.

    My manager is 7 months pregnant with her first child, and is due off on maternity leave in June. She has agreed to take off at least 6 months for the initial childcare at that point.
    My yearly appraisal is next week, and will be the only time at which she and I are likely to sit down alone and speak frankly before she goes.

    My problem is this:

    Do I raise the fact that I intend to leave at my appraisal, even when I know I'm not ready/able to move on yet? When I say a few months for me to sort out my personal affairs, I'm thinking 4/5 months, so I'll be ready to leave right in the middle of her planned maternity leave. This approach, while honest and upfront, leaves me vulnerable for the next 2 months while she's here (and anything could happen with her) but seems to be what someone with good character would do.

    The alternative is that I play dumb at my appraisal, and go through my goals/targets for next year etc. and then when I'm ready to leave, I hand my months notice in to the CEO (her boss) and go. This will really leave the business in the lurch - I have no subordinate, and without my boss - there will be no-one to look for a suitable replacement for me (it's a specialist role, and not something that someone with no knowledge on the subject could hire for competently) my boss then either has to come out of maternity early to support or hire a replacement; and it'll still be her that's responsible for my reference.

    I suppose my question boils down to this: When you've had enough in your employment and are ready to move on, do you look out for yourself, or the company you're leaving? Where do you draw the line when you're leaving an unprofessional work environment, knowing full well they'll be responsible for a reference when you start your new job?
     
  2. Kovoet

    Kovoet What's a Dremel?

    Joined:
    26 Aug 2009
    Posts:
    7,128
    Likes Received:
    348
    If it were me I'd go down the alternative route. But not everyone has a mean streak like me. Problem these days most companies only realise the importance of certain individuals only when it's to late.
     
  3. Atomic

    Atomic Gerwaff

    Joined:
    6 May 2002
    Posts:
    9,646
    Likes Received:
    94
    Keep shut about it, hand your notice in when you want to leave. If they ask why just tell them that you are moving on because you feel it's time to take the step in your career and that you feel that your current role doesn't offer you room to grow or progress.

    Keeping adequate staffing levels is management responsibility... it's not your fault that the company hasn't thought about getting a replacement for your manager during her maternity leave so you should not feel guilty about leaving them in the lurch when you do leave.

    When leaving a job you are not happy in, you need to think about yourself and your future reference/career.
     
  4. jinq-sea

    jinq-sea 'write that down in your copy book' Super Moderator

    Joined:
    15 Oct 2012
    Posts:
    8,823
    Likes Received:
    721
    Don't mention it in your appraisal - make your plans on the quiet and then hand in your notice when ready. My view in this sort of situation is that its 'look out for yourself first' - it's not your responsibility to worry about a replacement.
     
    G0UDG likes this.
  5. MightyBenihana

    MightyBenihana Do or do not, there is no try

    Joined:
    8 Sep 2011
    Posts:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    117
    Don't say a word, do what you need to for you. Everyone else is doing what is right for them and not you. The world is harsh.
     
  6. Shirty

    Shirty W*nker! Super Moderator

    Joined:
    18 Apr 1982
    Posts:
    12,936
    Likes Received:
    2,058
    I'm in agreement with everyone else, keep quiet. She sounds like a nightmare and if it annoys her during her maternity leave then all the better.
     
  7. Margo Baggins

    Margo Baggins I'm good at Soldering Super Moderator

    Joined:
    28 May 2010
    Posts:
    5,649
    Likes Received:
    268
    This a thousand times.
     
  8. Jim

    Jim Ineptimodder

    Joined:
    2 Sep 2007
    Posts:
    311
    Likes Received:
    7
    My question is this: if the company decided to let you go, would they give you 6 months notice just to be helpful?

    Companies only do things when they're obliged to, and I think it's perfectly reasonable for employees to take the same approach.

    Of course, sometimes it's good to go the extra mile to be helpful, but in this case I think you'd be opening yourself up for exploitation.
     
  9. Fishlock

    Fishlock .o0o.

    Joined:
    22 Nov 2004
    Posts:
    1,081
    Likes Received:
    36
    I could reel off a reasoned and balanced post about this, but I feel this quote covers it.
     
  10. aramil

    aramil One does not simply upgrade Forums

    Joined:
    10 Jul 2012
    Posts:
    961
    Likes Received:
    58
    Very little to add to what has already been said.

    Staffing is not you concern.

    Keep quiet and carry on until you are ready to leave and then serve your correct and proper notice.
     
  11. Guinevere

    Guinevere Mega Mom

    Joined:
    8 May 2010
    Posts:
    2,484
    Likes Received:
    176
    Then don't tell her your plans. Wait.

    When she's gone you can then rethink. Either tell your new 'boss' or keep on waiting until you're ready. You don't have a date of when you want to leave yet, so bringing it up before then may only cloud the situation.

    Wait until she's gone and then work out your plans as quickly as you can. Once YOU know what YOU want you can either tell them at the 'last minute' under the terms of the contract they gave you or give them as much notice as you can if you feel that is the 'right' thing to do.

    It is possible to do 'the right thing' while still looking out for yourself, but there's no point putting yourself through hell with your current boss if she's about to leave for a while.
     
  12. Votick

    Votick My CPU's hot but my core runs cold.

    Joined:
    21 May 2009
    Posts:
    2,321
    Likes Received:
    109
    I'd stay quiet and then when you are ready to go hand in your notice.
     
  13. RTT

    RTT #parp

    Joined:
    12 Mar 2001
    Posts:
    14,120
    Likes Received:
    74
    Definitely keep schtum!
     
  14. Retro_Gamer

    Retro_Gamer Minimodder

    Joined:
    13 Mar 2014
    Posts:
    157
    Likes Received:
    20
    Keep it quiet until you are ready to leave, they may just give you all the stuff no one wants to do until you actually leave if you tell them.

    Literally find yourself another job and once you know you have got it use the rest of your holidays available and put in your notice
     
  15. julianmartin

    julianmartin resident cyborg.

    Joined:
    25 Jul 2004
    Posts:
    3,562
    Likes Received:
    126
    Another vote for keeping quiet here. Always look after number one in situations like this - the company clearly never put you first so you have nothing to gain by putting them first apart from dealing with unnecessary and unwarranted guilt.
     
  16. chewbaccas_nan

    chewbaccas_nan Minimodder

    Joined:
    27 Jun 2011
    Posts:
    762
    Likes Received:
    11
    Everyone feels guilty when handing in their notice if you generally get on ok in the company (I know I do), however, when the boots on the other foot, a company won't hesitate to get rid of their staff when it suits them.

    In your case though, you sound like you hate your boss anyway so the look on her face when you've found a better job and moving on will be priceless.

    Just do it professionally, don't bad mouth anyone (even your boss) to make sure you're reference stays in tact - you'll have the last laugh.
     
  17. GeorgeStorm

    GeorgeStorm Aggressive PC Builder

    Joined:
    16 Dec 2008
    Posts:
    7,000
    Likes Received:
    548
    Yeah I wouldn't mention anything until you're ready to go, you're just asking for potential trouble, especially based on what you said about your boss in the OP.
     
  18. rainbowbridge

    rainbowbridge Minimodder

    Joined:
    26 Apr 2009
    Posts:
    3,171
    Likes Received:
    69
    I used to work out of a shop in wd6.....

    I was in the Engineering Bay and the two bosses, each of them were RICH, like buying 4mllion pound houses and stuff, homes in US, investments any way... so they are shahs (vs patels etc).


    I was working on some laptop, and boss A (my nice guy) comes over mid way and he has a question for boss number 2 (mr perfect of the universe)

    Boss A
    You know Mr Smith of Company A (huge science company, Mr Smith had brought in Boss A as a consultant hundreds of times at +60, maybe +100 pounds per hour).

    Boss A asks Mr Perfect (also a director)
    Mr Smith is retiring in the next few days, (and he wont be making us any more money..)

    As its this time of the year, we should give Mr Smith a bottle of something (of which the company had two options, expensive good decent one, and cheapo give to the staff one).


    Mr Perfect in less time that it took for half of a heart beat, not even a stride, said to Boss A with the very quickest of internal kung fu of displeasure... give him the cheap bottle.



    Some guy (happened to be indian) who kindly brought in and provided sandwiches to Boss so that he could update his Sage system and so on... for more than 20 years....... enabled him to earn how ever much money it was...

    He retires, and that company that MINTED IT from this manager, because the manager retired and was no longer any use.... did he get the good bottle of wine... or cheap bottle of wine.

    Please.... all of the mentality you have it is commendable but we are out of date, its not 1949, or 1955

    You need to keep your mouth SHUT, and you also need to even take a break and ask why you are even asking this question right,



    The only thing I would say, is that your boss, the lady princess who is up the duff...


    She has her OWN side to the story, you are not perfect, she could explain several reasons from Sunday about how your an idiot, I don't mean that in a bad way but its the truth.


    If you want to be kind about it, give as much time to the company as possible, if you can give 6 weeks notice that is golden, that is time for them to work with they will be able to deal with it, you wont even get dust for doing it.


    Can I just ask, why cant you grow there, cant you draw up a reasonable growth plain there? It doesn't need to be too aggressive but it sounds like they need you... right she has a bun in the oven and they are looking towards you as being the MAN, more reasonability?

    Be reasonable, work is a small part of the puzzle of life, even your bitch boss has her side of the story and has responcablitys.



    If you go into that room and raise any red flags or even omit some thing you should say, they are going to be all over that like a rash.

    You have to remember mate, she is going to delivery a child, women pass away and stuff.. there are more important things going on.


    Why haven't you communicated to your team about your desire to improve even if that doesn't mean an increase in salary.

    Example is you couild say look I will cover inside out whilst you are away but once your back, I want to go on a part time OU, or some great course or qualification.


    If you stay there and put in great effort right that is compensable.


    Also just want to say, really hope and dearly wish that your boss has a healthy baby and every thing is lovely and lush for her.

    She is delivering, women are so knowable and perceptive.

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Instagib

    Instagib Minimodder

    Joined:
    12 Mar 2010
    Posts:
    1,415
    Likes Received:
    57
    Firstly, keep quiet for your appraisal.

    Just out of interest, is this a job that you enjoyed at one point? The reason I ask is because it seems that you have a mis-placed sense of loyalty. Yes its the decent thing to let them know, but past the obligated notice, you really shouldn't owe them squat.

    If it was a job you used to like, is her going away on maternity leave not an opportunity for you to step up and show more senior management your abilities? Play it well, you might be able to move out from under her. Is that an option?

    Of course, if you really hate the job, just get out. No point doing a job you hate.
     
  20. TheStockBroker

    TheStockBroker Modder

    Joined:
    19 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    1,533
    Likes Received:
    110
    Wow, amazing responses guys, thank you. I knew there was a reason I thought to post here.

    The TLDR version will be that no, following consideration and much appreciated advice I will not be saying anything up until the point I'm contractually obliged to.


    The overall situation is a little more complicated than I detailed in the OP, and ultimately yes, I did initially enjoy the job, and still do love my team with the exclusion of my manager.
    The issues I have unrelated to lack of progression ability are pretty much entirely of her creation. I work in a team of six, and we all feel the same about her and the department. All but the most newly joined member of the team are currently seeking other employment opportunities. We are in business critical roles, and for us to potentially all "up and leave" while she is on the verge of maternity or actually on maternity could really harm business operation, and we all have other friends and colleagues employed elsewhere within the company to consider even after we've departed. Hence my question as I do feel I have some responsibility to those I leave behind.

    I know the obvious thought is "well, it should be her going then" - and in my opinion, yes, this is true: But this just isn't going to happen because of the way she is, any official move to oust her would have turned into an HR disaster and is only made worse now that she is pregnant and would add that to her unfair dismissal case.

    Regarding no room for growth, I already have the tools and knowledge to serve this role appropriately, and if I want a year on year pay increase, I would get it - but my position here will remain the same, dutifully serving under someone. I want something a bit more liberating, where I don't wake up each day dreading going into the office. I have nothing against hard work, and working my way up. I just don't want to work here with nowhere to go and an unagreeable superior :D
     

Share This Page