I know this is a very particular rant, but its one that is peeving me off so much of recent I feel the need to vent. My daily commute is from Victoria to Monument on the District Line. I paid the better part of £1300 pounds for the privilege of standing next to someone eating a take away Wasabi curry when I've been at work for 13 hours. From time to time, for want of a better way of putting it, I get caught short and have to resort to not taking a glorious dump in either, my own delightful throne, or that particular toilet on the 4th floor. I have to pay 30p for this privileged. This severely f***s me off, perhaps an awful lot more than it should do. I understand why they make you pay, to stop people coming in off the street etc, but when I have to fork out an unreasonably large amount for my travelcard ANYWAY, i think its taking the mickey making me pay to drop the kids off at the pool. Its basically encouraging me to go and have a slash against the wall of their station, which causes them more hassle than letting me go to the bog for free... I am aware that in London if you pull the turnstile back you can slip in, but that's so not the point. TL;DR: Needed to poo. Had to pay. Grumpy about it. Should drink less coffee.
Seeing as you're in London, could they not have you swipe a valid oyster card or something to verify that you do, in fact, give them money already?
The worst part about taking a day trip to London with a 3 year old is the fact that there are no toilets anywhere. She's only small, doesn't get much notice that she needs to go (5 mins is about her limit) and then we have to get off the tube, get out of the station and find somewhere she can go. Sorry, I realise it's a bit TMI, but the lack of public toilets on the tube is horrendous.
closure of all the public toilets is a joke, where are you ment to go? forced to go to pubs and brave the stares from staff.
Rightttt, because what you want is for someone, somewhere to be doing statistical analysis on your personalised public pooping habits! 16 years from now: Analyst 1: I'm checking the logs at London Bridge, it's 18.15 and James Smith hasn't touched in. Analyst 2: Thames Walk James Smith, or Perry Drive James Smith? Analyst 1: The James Smith. Analyst 2: That's worrying. It's Monday right? I don't think he's ever missed his Monday slot. Analyst 1: He hasn't, I've checked. Analyst 2: What do we do? Analyst 1: Boss! We've got a situation over here... Our 18.02 never made it it in today. Supervisor: So? Analyst 2: It's Old Faithful Sir. His routine pre-dates Oyster admission. Supervisor: *Wiping the tears from his eyes* Close his file boys, he must have gone to the porcelain potty in the sky. RIP.
I calculated recently that I earn as much as £50 a month from pooing. That's a great stat in my mind. I used to earn a lot from smoking too, but since I started vaping instead I tend to combine it with pooing (in the winter at least). Guffaw.
If you've ever taken a dump in a train station toilet, contactless pooping is the only way to go. It was inevitable. You'll be surprised how many people are on this level - Nexxo is a regular
I know, right. It's like the moment he hung up the mod hat, the little Nexxo came out to play. And play he has.........
You've obviously never taken part in 'The Million Pound Drop' The bet every man must make when the question arises, is it just a guff?
I couldn't possibly comment... Is it just me who visualised this as a scene from Enemy of the State or Person of Interest?
Mankz! If you were a pro Victoria commuter like me, you would know to go for a slash in the Wetherspoon opposite those toilets for free!
