Sorry its anther rant post from me, but looking for a bit of advice from others too. We live on mixed housing estate of privately owned houses and socially rented houses. Usually speaking its rather quiet round here. However when its holiday time, e.g school holidays all the kids come out to play. Whilst I have no issue with them being outside and enjoying the fresh air I take exception to them using my house, drive and car as a their football goal. I came home from work to find one of the little oiks about to go into my drive to drop kick his ball to the other side of the street to his mate, but as he saw I was pulling into my drive he walked off. I hadn't been inside the house for anymore than 10 minutes when me and the Mrs heard a loud thump. I went outside to see the football in my drive and it was plain to see that they kicked the ball at my living room window. I saw the ball next to my car and decided (rightly or wrongly) that I was going to take it inside so as to stop them coming to collect it and doing the same again. 5 minutes later a knock at the door, a little girl couldn't have been any older than 9 at the outside asking for the ball back, the boys that kicked it lurking in the back ground. Politely I declined said they weren't getting it back as they couldn't keep it under control - the boys then became a bit vocal and started shouting at me, my Mrs was lurking behind me. The boys then said "We'll get the bacon" the boys themselves at the most are 12 years of age. I shouted back that I welcomed the intervention of the Police, because we've complained before about ant social behavior from kids in the area over the summer. In the summer months they were always kicking the ball at my car - I had the ball pattern on it to show where it had hit my car. When my Mrs was doing some gardening the ball came in and she told them to leave it well alone, but the little turds came in and got it anyway and when she told them off she got a tirade of abuse. Now my Donna normally can take that kinda crap but she currently going through a bad patch of severe depression so threats of "We're gonna throw a brick through the windows" didn't exactly go down very well and if I heard it I'd have gone mental. Its always the same sodding group aswell. It's not like where we live is short of parks or green areas to play ball, and there's a field not very far away either. So why they have to play in the street I have no Idea. So imagine my surprise, second knock at the door, some other woman from up the road, never met her before starting on me for taking the ball away. I explained they couldn't keep it under control, I wasn't prepared to let them have it back and that they were being really disrespectful. Donna pointed out about how there's a really good park and field not too far away and there is lots of green areas for kids to play ball to be told "They can't play there because other people in the street don't want them there" & the one that made me almost laugh out loud "Do you know how many pedophiles live on the estate?" She went onto say we clearly don't have kids or we'd know. She's right, we don't have kids and even if we did they wouldn't be out when its getting dark kicking a ball about causing problems for others. They would be bough up to respect other peoples homes, cars etc. I was never allowed to play football in the street (neither did I want to in all fairness) I was more interested in riding my bike and going for an explore at that age. That said if something of mine, radio controlled car, ball on the rare time I may have one or something else had gone onto a neighbors property if I was told to leave it alone or I couldn't have t back I accepted that. I guess I was brought up to show respect, common decency and manners, something this rabble don't have. She was going on about how we are punishing the kids when we should be talking to their parents. I don't know where in the crescent they all sodding live and I sure am not going to go knocking on doors say excuse me do you have kids ? How dodgy is that going to look. Whilst she was trying to argue what I did was wrong the kids were kicking the ball well another one they had into the old girls garden across the road, they have also trashed my neighbors fence too with the sodding thing. She was going on "well this is news to me" yeah love of course its news if you don't supervise the sprogs you won't know what they're doing. At the end of the day a road is not a football ground and the speed I've seen cars coming up and down this road they could easily get knocked over. Looking at the road traffic act it's also illegal. We were told the kid whose ball it was would send his mother over to talk to us, that was almost some 3 hours ago and we're still waiting. Mrs has said if the parents do come with an apology the ball will be handed back with a warning if it comes on our property again she'll burst it and throw it away - bit extreme I spose but when you live with someone who has severe depression every little problem is like 50 times bigger than it actually is. She's worried of a revenge attack tomorrow and whilst not ideal I've hooked up a web cam on my PC and got it pointing at our drive its not the best setup but if there is any trouble it will be pictured and the evidence can be given to the police. Police have been informed of the situation, making note it was an on going issue and I stated who the officer was so we shall see if they have anything to say, not that I have any faith they will. Anyway would anyone have done any differently - I know I can't change what I've done just a case of moving on and seeing what happens - sorry it was a long one lol just needed to get that out of my system.
The usual story. The rest of society has to deal with other people's inability to use birth control and poor parenting.
Unfortunately it's the parent(s) you have to convince. The kids will not listen to you. The confrontation you had at your doorstep isn't really the best place to work things out, especially when she had made her mind up on getting the ball back from the bad neighbour, and her kids was in the right.
Are these the same sorts of parents that swear and shout at full volume at their kids? If they are I wish you luck.
Nip it in the bud or these kids will be causing worse trouble for you once they hit their teens and discover the wonders of alcohol and drugs. Oh and if their fathers come round acting hard, deck them.....
The trick with kids is to find a way to get on with them. Respect isn't obligatory, and if you get on the wrong side of them they're never going to respect you, and the more difficult you are with them the more of a target you'll become. Keep things light-hearted, you have to live with these people in your street indefinitely so it does nobody any favours if you can't keep things friendly. Taking the ball away and getting precious about your car is not going to win them over. Blaming the parents is lazy and disregards the fact that these kids are people in their own right and have a will of their own. If you'd have joined in with them, had a kickabout for instance etc, they'd immediately see that you were 'alright' and be far more likely to listen to you when you have a quiet word in their ears about keeping the ball away from the cars etc. What sort of neighbourhood do you want?
Some local youths used to use the Garages next to my house for penalty shootouts, made it a Nightmare to do anything as the Garages are the large metal door afairs that make an almighty bang when hit... Eventually they moved on after several confrontations with one of the other garage owners Spotted a fantastic example of the current parenting system the other day whilst in my Garage / Man cave. Classic Hooded Youth pair, ~20 years old, 2 sprogs in pushchairs and the girl looking heavily pregnant, both of them smoking roll ups and reeking of weed, playing loud Rap music about hookers and drugs. whining on the phone about Social services visiting her... ''i mean who the f*ck does she think she is the stupid b*tch, telling me how to raise my kids'' ''i swear if she comes near me again im going to bang her the f*ck out'' unfortunately this is the age in which we live in, where disciplining your child can land you in prison, so kids run riot and have no respect for anyone around them. Personally my dad was very heavy in his punishment, to the point of senseless beating, and while i can never condone the severity of his actions, it taught me right from wrong. -Related, Halloween is coming up, so im expecting the same arseholes as last year who buy / steal 99p steam masks from tescos, come knocking at my door expecting free stuff, i usually tell them to go make a ****ing effort and try again. Those that made an effort i do give out stuff to though... I only wish it was legal to shoot my airsoft rifle at the little buggers when they throw eggs once you tell them no, and there isnt any point in calling the police as 'they were wearing masks so no identification could be made God i hate the Youth of today....
I've never laid a finger on my kids and never will. The worst my kids have had is 'no treats today' or 'sit in the naughty corner.' Fair enough the oldest is only 6 but she's one of the nicest kids I know. She also knows right from wrong because I educate her with words, rather than fists. In my opinion if you use physical violence for punishment and/or education you're teaching the kid that physical violence is ok.
im not saying Violence is ok, not by any strech, but there is a huge difference between a beating ( which i took rather often ) and a simple disciplinary spank. unfortunatly alot of parents these days dont even bother to punish their children as they are to busy to notice what their kids get up to... to busy posting 90,000 selfies and playing farmville i bet a fair amount of kids get more time with Ipads and playstations than actual family time.
It's a difficult situation, what are you supposed to do? Level with them and let them know it's causing your wife grief and they have to play elsewhere (can you do that with a 12yo?). Ignore it and hope it goes away. Speak to the parents in the off chance they'll suddenly do the right thing and reign their kids in. Get involved and be all pally (more likely to cost you more time than you have or get you a reputation as a "paedo") I honestly can't think of a decent solution here.
Can't you do a Clint Eastwood and pretend your hand is a gun like he done in Gran Torino, or even better when they start kicking the ball around again go out and do an Eastwood style get of my lawn.
I'd not pop there ball under any circumstances as you can be done for criminal damage. A friend of the family had this issue with youngsters like this a few years back they eventually lost the ball and went to other ideas we never saw much of them. Our area is surrounded by bushes that you do not want to enter. Rose bushes for example and prickly hedges. Someone also recorded them and sent video to police who knocked on there door.
I have trouble with kids in my area damaging my cars. I've found new scratches on the RS down the door, and football marks on both. I've even found paint from where they've rammed their shitty little scooters into my mondeo. I've spoken to the police, but no records are kept on the kids because of their age, and the parents are routinely visited for violating any number of laws. The police aren't effective at policing kids - They have bigger better things to do (Understandably). I reverse into my parking area, and for a while, they made a game of following me on their scooters/bikes making faces at me - I started randomly stopping when they weren't looking and they went face first into my bumper. That **** soon stopped. I've not seen them down in my parking area since three of them decided to start pissing on the floor, and I shouted at them. Then again, being bald, fairly tall, and looking like I might be dead (Thanks chemo) might have made a difference. If the kids aren't from a rough family, you might stand a better chance being nice to them. If the family's rough then I bet my socks you'll get accused of being a paedophile and ignored anyway. Start recording all activity outside the house, then the police can take action against the parents if it gets that far.
As a kid i can remember playing chap door run, you know which doors we would choose - the ones where we would get a chase. Im not saying just let it go, but don't rise to the bait and dont confiscate the ball.
Hand the ball into your nearest police station as lost property, if anyone asks for it you can refer them, might not even be their ball...
We used to have a family with three four kids between 2 and 15 2 year old wasnt much bother oddly enough, the others were always out on scooters or a bike trike thing with plastic wheels which they would slide and made loads of noise with. They would hide between cars an jump out, punt balls off cars, knock on doors an run off ended up with lots of scratches on the cars and broken plants from the kids fishing out their lastest lost ball Parents didnt care they had the obligatory large rottie that barked because if was left outside all day. got knows how many cats, when I approached the kids asking them to not use my driveway and car for their games they said they dont care an if I try an stop them will say I touched one of them an get me done. Thankfully they moved a while back but I know your pain. Kids these days know the parents dont care and they have no respect for anyone or their property. As LG mentioned Halloween is coming up, either ill open the door an fire up the chainsaw. Or simply just not be in.
This ^^ Instead of going in all guns blazing, i would have shown a mutual interest in there football game (by the way i cant stand football) and then politely asked them to do it somewhere else. When i was a kid, i used to get up to some stupid stuff and there was nothing better than the person your annoying coming out in a rage, we used to find it hilarious therefore spurring us on to annoy them again. (i regret this now, but at least it helps me to understand)
Pain gives you a memory of what not to do, sometimes it is needed. Ninja edit. A friend of mine has a son that was bullied in school, he told his son to beat the bully up when the other kids would see it, he did, now 8 months later there has been no problems. The school, having turned infantile and vaginal, contacted my friend and said they had a policy of non-violence. My friend told me this and I told him what to say to them "Tell them that this is clearly not the case seeing your son was bullied for almost a year" and "Clearly they accept emotional and spiritual abuse and violence" and "this means they have no zero policy...clearly" and "getting a beating is pain that will go away" and "this is what your son needed and what the bully needed" He did bring this rational and logical argument to their attention and they got completely quiet. They never brought it up again. I will never be in his position because I have two girls. I suppose I will be faced with other issues in the future though. It's just infiltration by the state, they want to be the parent, they want to be where the buck stops, they don't want the competition from the child's parents so they do everything in their power to take the parents out of the equation. Adding to the problem is that many of these parents had no parents themselves so they simply don't know how to parent. They don't know how to give their children the proper guidance and tools they need to be able to govern themselves because they themselves are unable to, etc. It's just a mess.
I'll give my rather brief opinion on this but as I work at the chalk face for the past 8 years I thought I could add a bit. Having taught in some very rough schools (in fact one of them got the worst behavioural OFSTED in the country a year after I left) I find it's nothing to do with the kids it's all about the parents. On parents evenings you can see why some of the kids are the way they are and even more so by the absent parents. All the issues we face at the moment stem from when having kids stopped being about having someone to look after you / earn money to something you want to have as a lifestyle choice, this has lead to a lot of parents treating their children like Princes and Princesses and therefore not making them think about others or their surroundings. All of our kids lives now are totally self obsessed, I see this as they go through secondary school, their phones, their parents, their online appearance, physical appearance etc etc. All this leads to behaviour that is often 'antisocial' as they are consumed with their own lives (think Narcissus and NO I don't mean Harry Potter!). This doesn't mean I don't come across some bloody wonderful kids. They are often brought up without 'disciplining' but are clearly taught how to respect each other and the boundaries that they should live within. I was brought up by a single parent without any of that 'discipline' and did alright (anecdotal evidence Cheesecake). I do see kids who have parents who do have parents that discipline and it does work to an extent, when you mention you need to contact home they plead with you not to contact them and / or you see them becoming quite fearful. Sometimes this is because they'll lose privileges but sometimes it can be something far more serious and this has happened because the parents are having to make up for pampering them too much when they were younger (hence they Prince and Princess comment earlier) Also I'm no longer a teacher I'm a social worker / parent / psychologist / relationship councilor sigh... P. S. Sorry for the slightly rambling post but yeah don't blame the kids or the government it's all down to the parents (you guys). Oh and I do love my job surprisingly... Edit : this all comes down to parents that have instilled in their kids a love of learning by keeping them entertained with 'culture' not just checking them in front of the tele. The problem is this is often the middle class parents or aspirational working class so the poor kids at the bottom start with an even bigger disadvantage. Btw think OP did more or less everything right. Don't appear aggravated by it, they want your attention it's fun for them if you get wound up and definitely don't pop the ball it'll just be another reason for them to annoy you!
