Two or three times a week at work (I service computers in a local shop), one of our customers will make a remark like: "Trouble is, I let the wife use it, you know what they're like." "Well, it's the missuses laptop, she's got no patience for it, I get it in the ear all the time, she can't work the bloody thing out but she won't let me near it. You know what women are like." "It's my daughter's computer, really, and you know what girls are like on the internet, I dread to think what she's been on." "Me girlfriend's down in the car, I don't wanna keep her waiting, you know how they get." These are all more or less verbatim, and are only a few of many similar expressions. "You know what they're like" seems to be the stomach-churning refrain of insecure macho pricks trying to break the ice in an all-male environment, and every time I hear it I want to push them down the stairs. Now, since I'm employed rather than self-employed, and since we rather like having repeat customers rather than no customers, we say nothing, or we mumble something non-committal that sounds like mild agreement without being specific. I'm pretty sure this is a standard tactic that we've all used at some point, when you want to bypass talking to somebody about their ****ing despicable attitude because you're just trying to get on with your day. But it's now become a routine thing, and I feel like a flake and a hypocrite for not saying something to these waddling chauvinistic turds. I consider myself a feminist and an equal rights advocate, and I hate how passively our society lets this kind of crap stroll by every day without presenting any kind of resistance. But where does one really stand? Is it feasible to even try and confront people about their blatant sexism, and is it possible to do so non-aggressively? Is it worth risking doing so while you're working, or does having an income mean forfeiting your right to call out bigotry and slander while you're on the clock?
I really enjoy male banter I was bought up by my mom and her friends so wasn't around other men much. What do you think women talk about? They are terrible when I worked at Wilkinsons it was all sex. I swear woman are becoming more like men and men more like women....and I don't like it. Ahh I long for the old days real men covered in grease and oil enjoying a pint talking about the other half, not the gel haired strongly perfumed fakes these days.
It's different if you're with friends and it's clearly a joke/laugh, versus random person you just met. But even then I'd never go 'tss women!' like it's some sort of core-belief, yet I find pushing the inappropriateness of your mum/that's what she said jokes with a couple of co-workers can be quite hilarious and stress relieving.
I wouldn't worry too much. You could say something but its not going to change anything, dumb dumbs will still be dumb dumbs and the world will keep spinning.
The NHS is a highly skilled female-dominated environment. Anyone making disparaging remarks about women wouldn't last long.
I let stuff like that slide... but one thing that I try and do is correct any assumptions of sex. Personally I think is the more damaging sexism. The sort of assumption that means the words Scientist, Doctor, Chief Executive Officer, Director, so on. I started doing it after I was working with a clever colleague whom I respected very much. They pointed out, politely that I always assumed a male role on persons in positions of authority.
I manage a home furnishing store where most of the staff and customers are woman so I keep it quiet. But trust me some of the woman are just as bad but I wouldn't dare tell them that.
This happens all day everywhere. Women do the same about men. Whites are racist to blacks, as are blacks to whites. As you rightly mention, for the sake of the business this type of 'banter' should not be challenged, unless it crosses a certain line. That line is down to you to decide and speak to your boss about. When you deal with people you need to be tolerant. People say stupid **** and have stupid opinions, it doesn't make them vile Human beings that deserve to be pushed down the stairs. I have more to say but I've got to take the kid's to school in this horrible weather.
How can you get offended by the examples given? Seriously? "You know what they're like" - come on, there's better things to do in life than give a second thought to a comment like that. How can you find that despicable? What would you hope to achieve by challenging them - you can't change the experience they've had with the women they've lived with. My own experience of the women I've lived with etc. strongly suggests there are common traits between them that are not evident in the same way in the men I know. And vice-versa for the men. And I know from conversations I've had with other men that they've experienced similar traits in the women they know. So what, we're not allowed to talk about my experiences? If you were quoting examples where a woman was being disadvantaged in any meaningful way purely because she was not a man then do what you gotta do, but where it's just idle, inconsequential, banter...? Talk about 'PC gone mad'. Have you got the painters in? Are we saying there's absolutely no difference between a man and a woman other than their physical forms? Or are we just not allowed to acknowledge them in public? Sheeesh
Have you ever gone into a shop and gone: "I'm a computer modder and gamer, but I can't work out how to get rid of this virus I picked up watching porn, can you get rid of it for me?" No. You say "sorry someone who doesn't know about computers touched it, and now it doesn't work". Expressions like "you know what they're like" is more "you know what people who don't actually care about maintaining their PC's because the have a partner who will do it for them are like". Chill dude. Also there is nothing wrong with making jokes about obviously differences in people when its light hearted, it helps to bond. My (big) little brother and I go around calling each other the ugly one and big head, but thats because we generally get accused of looking like twins.
Large meh from me as well. What do people's wives and girlfriends say to their friends when you have your pc plus water cooling gear and whatever else spread all over the kitchen table or living room floor during a big over haul. "Boys and their toys, you know what their like" perhaps? In almost every ad on TV featuring a father of a family. (Usually targeted at women) The father is portrayed as a bumbling idiot. Woman have their own (stereotypical)views of men and make their own off the cuff remarks. Which also generates a large meh from me. If we can't be light hearted about our differences you end up with people afraid to say anything at all.
Of course they do and women can more 'sexist!' than us men. But there are far more important things to worry about. It is getting quite ridiculous that everything we now say needs to be scrutinised in case it is 'sexist' 'racist' ' homophobic' 'islamaphobic' and any other obic or ist you can think of. Men going to lap dancing clubs/bars or strip clubs are sad dirty mack brigade members. Women going to see the Chippendale's ETC nothing more than a fun night out for the girls. Rant over.
Stupid how? You can't possibly be in a position to fully understand my own experiences of gender differences. So while you may not have experienced any differences between men and women in your life, judging others negatively because they have (or just assuming that they're making it up) is surely just as outrageously stupid as the comments you find stupid? Not that I'm judging you, of course, just trying to establish where you're coming from
You could show your disdain to every customer that made a comment you don't agree with but you would probably lose quite a few customers and quite probably a few teeth if you said it to the wrong person, many men say things about their wives and partners in a "Her indoors" kind of way, don't worry about it, just be grateful your not married to the women their moaning about. If you think some customers make sexist remarks about wives and girlfriends you should hear the things a gay couple down the pub say about each other when their partners not around, too much information
I find it odd that you feel so strongly about what I would consider nothing. I don't think I say it, and I'm almost certain I wouldn't say it to a random person (unless I was with said wife in the shop then I'd probably say it). I don't think there's anything for you to gain by saying something, if they're genuinely 'sexist' then you probably won't change their mind and may lose the shop a customer, if they're saying it as a cover up/off the cuff comment then it might just make the situation a little awkward, potentially lose the shop a customer and not really do anything 'good'. The only upside I can think of is it would make you feel better, so I guess it depends how much you want that.
Psychological or physical abuse I can't abide (not just between sexes but in general, frankly). But I am generally tolerant of law abiding cavemen despite being nothing like them myself. Basically, as long as nobody's getting hurt then I'm OK with it.
