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Old 25th Jan 2017, 11:59   #81
Kronos
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Will the newly released T2 Trainspotting be as big a disappointment to railway enthusiasts as the original film?
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Old 13th Feb 2017, 19:48   #82
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My father worked as a highways maintenance engineer fixing up the UK's roads for over 50 years.

Found out the other day that he had been stealing from work for most of that time.....I went round to see him.....

The signs were all there !
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Old 14th Feb 2017, 07:37   #83
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I was reading a really good book about how they used to build ships, it was... riveting!
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Old 14th Feb 2017, 10:43   #84
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Two Irish fellas were walking down the road when they stumbled upon a paramedic giving first aid to a bloke who was lying next to a crashed motorcycle.

"what's up with him ?" asked O'Reilly

The paramedic looked up and said...

"He's got 2 broken collar bones, 2 dislocated knees, a broken right arm, broken left ankle and 2 broken thumbs"

"Geez" said Mick....no wonder he fell off !
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Old 14th Feb 2017, 10:58   #85
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I used to be a werewolf.

But im all right nawwwwwwooooooooooooooo
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Old 25th Feb 2017, 09:49   #86
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Just read a survey that says one in ten of your friends have a secret gambling addiction...

My money's on Mike !!!
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Old 31st Mar 2017, 17:20   #87
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Paddy takes a chainsaw back to the shop and complains that he was told it could easily cut down 60 trees a day.

He moans to the shop assistant that he has only managed to cut down 40 trees on his best day.

The shop assistant agrees to have a look at the chainsaw to see if there's any fault.

He stands back and pulls the cord and starts revving up the saw......

Paddy asks "what's that noise" ?
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Old 4th Apr 2017, 09:49   #88
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I was stopped in town on the way to work today by a group of feminists. They wanted to know how I viewed Lesbian relationships in the modern world today.

Apparently, in high definition wasn't the answer they were looking for.
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Old 10th Apr 2017, 18:31   #89
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I can't not hear it every time i see reference to Nvidia...

So I did this...

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk
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Old 19th Apr 2017, 09:04   #90
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Son : Dad.....why is my sister called Teresa ?

Dad : Because your mother absolutely loves Easter son and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.

Son : Ah ok, thanks Dad.

Dad : No worries Alan.
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Old 22nd Apr 2017, 09:13   #91
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Went to a fancy dress party last night, dressed as a loaf of bread....

Was fighting the birds off me all night.
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