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Old 20th Feb 2013, 13:39   #1
Mankz
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Noisy Neighbours

For once, I mean for this to be serious, but I suspect it will descend into anarchy... but here goes.

I have a slight problem with my flat, in the fact that the building is quite old, and the walls are rather thin. Now, this wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for my next door neighbour.

Every night, without fail.. thump thump thump thump thump and the moanings of an 18th century French harlot come screaming out.. and not in a pleasant manner.

I'm sorely tempted to leave her an anonymous letter, suggesting she quieten down, but as there are only three flats on our floor, it'd be rather obvious who it must have been.

I could retaliate with peculiar noises of my own, but that'd just be a little stupid and would probably require too much coercion to pull off.

So, is there anything I can do, bar waiting for it and sticking in some headphones, or am I screwed? (pun intended)
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 13:45   #2
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talk to your land-lord and tell him your problem? He might be able to do something about it
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 13:47   #3
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If you go the council noise complaints route, they will tell you to keep a diary of each time a noise occurs.

They will also ask you to try the polite way and ask them directly if they could keep the noise down.

So, I suggest you do those first.

If you believe that said 18th Century gutter snipe is going to react in a term that is associated with a female dog say to the council that you did try to sort it out and you also have this diary of each time it happens.

She will be slapped with a keep the noise down notice (which won't tell her who made the complaint) and if she continues to persist, it will only get worse for her.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 13:48   #4
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Go round and show her how to moan properly
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 13:50   #5
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talk to your land-lord and tell him your problem? He might be able to do something about it
Good point.

If her property is indeed rented, any letter she receives from the local authority about any type of complaint, is also sent to her landlord (if he/she registered themselves as said landlord for that property).

That would soon shut them up.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 13:55   #6
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I think a discrete note posted under the door might be the best option - usually I would say go down the official channels, but chances are sex noises will drive the embarrassment factor up to 11.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 14:01   #7
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(someones got to say it) toss, toss, and toss, then you should be able to get to sleep regardless of the noise ;D

Just kidding, note through the door sounds best imo
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 14:03   #8
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Yeah just a discrete note saying the neighbours would appreciate it if you could keep the noise down would be best.

Failing all other routes record them and play it back loud at a later time, kinda looses a a little anonymity as they will know where the sounds are coming from but usually gets the point across!
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 14:08   #9
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Just remember to refer to the time of the noise too. She might not realise what noise you are talking about
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 14:13   #10
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Note under the door explaining exactly what can be heard in lurid prose, signed "one of the families with children in this block".

Removes all notion it might be you, and the prospect that it's keeping little Jimmy up at night shaking and causing him to underachieve at school should be enough to quieten all but the most disgusting bikes.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 14:36   #11
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Man up and tell her. I had a neighbour who'd come home from their night shift and promptly do a power exercise dvd. When it happened for the second time at 6am on a Saturday he got a rather pissed off neighbour at his door asking what on earth he was doing, as it sounded like a basketball being thrown at the wall. Suffice to say it quietened down and I think he either does it while I'm out now or has joined a gym.

I'd disturb her in the act, there's nothing like being disturbed while on the job. Just a polite, "I can hear you plain as day, can you keep it down please?"
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 14:40   #12
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 15:09   #13
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Knock on door, proceed to shout, result?
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 15:12   #14
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Pop a note under the door saying how much you enjoy having a soundtrack to strum away to of an evening.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 15:13   #15
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I'd disturb her in the act, there's nothing like being disturbed while on the job. Just a polite, "I can hear you plain as day, can you keep it down please?"
That is a passion killer of epic proportions.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 16:43   #16
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Just don't thump on the wall..that royally pisses people off and it won't get you anywhere.

Record it on your phone and then make sure to bump into her in the hallway and play it back to her. That will shut her up hahaha
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 17:21   #17
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Knock on the door and politely tell her that the walls are thin and you can hear everything she might be embarassed.

Trying to make noise as well is a bad idea these things escalate out of proportion, and they might think your just being an a-hole.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 17:29   #18
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Knock on the door and politely tell her that the walls are thin and you can hear everything
This. How come none of you considered direct and honest communication? That should be the first thing you do before seeking help.

Being polite helps too, if there's any humanity left in that person.
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Old 20th Feb 2013, 18:15   #19
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Buy her a present.

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Old 20th Feb 2013, 18:48   #20
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Do this:

http://www.youtube.com/user/95camry4life



Or:

http://xkcd.com/316/

Or:

Microphone + amplifier + speaker pointed against their flat, send the spam back to its destination!
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