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Old 17th Apr 2014, 14:41   #1
Gareth Halfacree
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Goat Simulator Review

Coffee Stain's rather unique sim appears to have got Rick's goat...
http://www.bit-tech.net/gaming/pc/20...lator-review/1
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 15:14   #2
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Annoyingly I actually want to play this game even more for having read your review.

Why does my mind work this way.
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 15:25   #3
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Would appear to be a review by someone that doesn't 'get it'. It's a cheap game for throwaway moments of pretty banal humour. It's not supposed to be Ulysses or Citizen Cane. It's not supposed to be deep or clever or meaningful.

It's the game equivelent to Daniel Stern (Marv) getting hit in the face with brick after brick in Home Alone 2.

It's a 'That's Numberwang' game.

If you review it for what it IS it deserves more than 30%. If you review it for what it's NOT then year 30% is about right.

I wish it was totally kid friendly. As my kids would LOVE to play this game. But for now they'll have to stick with smashing cars up in the tech dome of 'Next Car Game'
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 15:37   #4
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the human race will be wiped out by Goats. Never mind Kim Jong Un or Putin. Never mind the zombie apocalypse or the Ebola viruis. When the goats figure it out they will attack, they will slaughter us. No one will be safe.

Hopefully this simulation will help prepare us and hopefully allow us to save the human race.
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 15:49   #5
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Goat Simulator Review Review

Quote:
while doing nothing with eventually unlock an "angel" goat.
This review would benefit from a manual spell check.

Quote:
Tommy Wiseau's the room
Movie titles require capitalization. It may also be prudent to provide context to a relatively obscure film reference with a link; This is, after all, a technology site.

Ultimately I feel there was little care or attention put in to this review. Such glaringly elementary mistakes amidst such vitriolic critique smacks, at best, of insincerity. This certainly isn't the pinnacle of the review format. In addition to the errors outlined above, beginning an entire paragraph with a cooperative conjunction should speak volumes.

And that's really all I have to say on the subject.

Bit-Reader Score - 30%
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 16:32   #6
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The goats are not amused.

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Old 17th Apr 2014, 16:37   #7
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I thought this game was an April fools joke it was number one on steam and gmg.
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 16:41   #8
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Having seen a Youtube gameplay video of this I really think the reviewer missed the point. I'm not usually one to be amused by stupidity, but just watching someone play the game was fun.

Granted, it's got about an hour of gameplay value (more if the person playing is drunk), but what do you want for $7?
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 17:46   #9
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I don't think the reviewer missed the point. IF the game was a free download or even a quid then it would be able to get away what it is, but its a game on Steam with a price of 6.99 and so (imo) needs to be more than just a lazy joke.
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 18:48   #10
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The game seems like a terrible game, but it doesn't mean it's not enjoyable/funny. I watched Iron Sky a while back, got to be the one of, if not the worst film I've ever seen. It still made me laugh and I enjoyed it.

Quote:
Once you've explored all four corners of the world, licked a few people and blown up a few cars, you've basically seen all that Goat Simulator has to offer.
WRT DayZ....
Quote:
There still isn't an awful lot to do once you've sorted out your survival situation beyond playing with the game's systems and creating your own personal survival stories. But then, that's kind of like arguing there isn't a lot to do in football beyond kicking the ball toward your opponent's goal.
Surely we could make up own personal goat stories You cant really knock Goat Sim because there isn't much to do and defend DayZ for the same flaw. Even if DayZ is still being made.

All in all the game seems like a laugh. It won't hold our attention for long and doesn't have any depth but it is funny. It should be cheaper though.
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 19:07   #11
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DayZ is a much larger game with far greater potential for emergent stories. Sorting out your survival situation is a huge challenge and there's loads of interesting things that can happen along the way. Also, DayZ is still in development. Goat Simulator isn't.

And yeah, Goat Simulator offers some limited amusement through being a poorly made game. But at the end of the day, it's still a poorly made game regardless of how it spins that. I can't then treat it as if it were a good game just because it tickled me once or twice. Compare with games like South Park or The Stanley Parable, which are funny AND well made.

If anything, giving Goat Simulator a bad review is in keeping with the "joke", if you want to think about it like that. Hell, even the developers say you shouldn't buy it.

Last edited by RickLane; 17th Apr 2014 at 19:13.
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 23:14   #12
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Funny thing is, even the developers say it's a bad game on the steam store page, so it really shouldn't be a surprise when it is a bad game, why expect anything else?
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Old 17th Apr 2014, 23:27   #13
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Watched PewDiePie play it on you tube while pathetically laughing his ass off at every moronic event.

That's what killed it for me.

6.99 for very limited amusement......no thanks.
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Old 18th Apr 2014, 04:19   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinevere View Post
Would appear to be a review by someone that doesn't 'get it'. It's a cheap game for throwaway moments of pretty banal humour. It's not supposed to be Ulysses or Citizen Cane. It's not supposed to be deep or clever or meaningful.

It's the game equivelent to Daniel Stern (Marv) getting hit in the face with brick after brick in Home Alone 2.

It's a 'That's Numberwang' game.

If you review it for what it IS it deserves more than 30%. If you review it for what it's NOT then year 30% is about right.

I wish it was totally kid friendly. As my kids would LOVE to play this game. But for now they'll have to stick with smashing cars up in the tech dome of 'Next Car Game'
+1

It's the best $10 I've spent in years. I think I also read somewhere that they are releasing more content next month, so the value can only get better.
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Old 18th Apr 2014, 18:06   #15
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You can tell that it is ****, why review it?
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Old 19th Apr 2014, 04:58   #16
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this person is very funny at reviewing games due to been not english (he swears a lot so do not click it if you do not like lots of bad words)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3YyOMqqMDg

the bugs in the game are not going to be fixed only game crashes are
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Old 19th Apr 2014, 14:23   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinevere
I wish it was totally kid friendly'
Ha!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinevere View Post
As my kids would LOVE to play this game. But for now they'll have to stick with smashing cars up in the tech dome of 'Next Car Game'
Oooh...pun obviously not intended then...
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Old 28th Apr 2014, 22:36   #18
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GOAT SUPREMACY!



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Old 29th Apr 2014, 19:59   #19
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It's a kid's game!
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