First clean joke that always pops in to my head: What's green and wears oven gloves? A cooking apple.
A man reluctantly stands in line, outside the confessional booth, to confess his sins. He hears dozens of "Hail Marys" coming from behind the curtain as people proceed him. He asks a close by alter boy, "What does the Father give for having sex?" The alter boy answers, Spoiler "Milk and Cookies"
Wait, you have a joke thread and don't mention this one? Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
Got 2 here, kinda rude though 99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why, it's so difficult to identify a rapist. 2 flies on a toilet seat, one gets pissed off. Sam
Google translation: Translation: German » English Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput. When is the Nunstück and Slotermeyer git? Yes! Or the Beiherhund the Flipperwaldt gersput.
I recognized it from the Monty python sketch where the British were using it, as a weapon, against the German soldiers who would laugh themselves to death. I just don't get the joke itself unless it was supposed to be the funniest joke that a joke could be used as a weapon like that.
That made me lol I once read a question in a pc forum, about a guy asking how fans work. He was saying stuff like "how can the air get past the fans, when there are these fan blades spinning, getting in the way " He goes on "It's like if i stand still you can smack me in the head easily, but if i spin my arms around in front of me, it's very hard to hit me in the head!!!" Then the conspiracy theory "Not only are the fans in the way of the air, but the motors make heat, so i think that fans just make a pc hotter "
There is no translation, it's just gibberish. As ElThomsono said, it from Monty Python's funniest joke in the world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Funniest_Joke_in_the_World
someone watched Bicentennial Man on telly at the weekend, no? Why are Pirates so mean? Because they arggghhh!!
Okay, just got this one from a friend at work... A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only three survivors, Bob, Tom and Debbie. They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what is natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing; she felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself. It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Bob and Tom's resistance to natures urgings waned, and the inevitable happened. Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. Spoiler So they buried Debbie.
The pope, a alter boy, a rabbi and the worlds smartest black guy are coming back from a peace summit at the UN. The pilot of the plane has a heart attack and dies mid-flight. The alter boy comes from the cockpit and says “We only have three parachutes and there are four of us". The rabbi says “Well I'm a Jew and I help keep the world economy a float and I must live to keep the world running”. The rabbi grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The world’s smartest black guy says “Well I have to keep my people from being tricked by the white man and the other evils that rule this world”. He grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The pope turns to the alter boy and says "Son I've lived a long life doing Gods work and you should take the last chute". The alter boy stops the pope and says "Wait a second pope we're getting out of this alive". The pope says "What do you mean?" The alter boy says "The worlds smartest black guy took my backpack".
