Other So I like this girl...(No more whining, Progress made!)

Sort of a lead on from "Dreams F**cking with my mind!!" thread were i was wondering why i kept dreaming about a girl i work with.

Long story short i've been realizing im actually really into her... its not one of those "She's fit" and thats it jobs its one of the kind of girls you really have a connection with in terms of personality and stuff.

Heres the deal we work rarely together... i mean like once a week if im lucky in college holidays probebly more she was ill for a long shift last weekend so i missed my chance to really see what was up... theres another one this weekend (if she is there ) but theres problems...

Lately its been frustrating how i approach it heres a few problems i've come across

- Does she have a boyfriend??
I've never heard her mention it at all she does'nt go to college so meeting up with any guys is probebly slim she does'nt go out much either from what i can tell (Like clubs and bars).
She has no facebook, Myspace, Bebo or any of that ******** (which kinda makes her even more attractive ) neither msn or any other IM (That i know of) so talking to her outside of work is difficult

- Does she like me at all?
We get along well but im not sure if this is just her way as i said in a previous thread i see her looking at me and when i turn round she is almost always smiling, then theres my cheesy humour that no human being should find funny but she does....
See now some people are just generally like that but then others would say this is a sign of a attraction i find it hard to read girls...
The last shift i tried to give her the indication i was in to her (without coming off to strong or obvious) and she took it a little bit we were much more comfortable around each other (we are already buy you know...) and it was pretty cool..

So you see my predicament either way its not something i want to jump in headfirst with if she does have a boyfriend

ALTHOUGH: I would strongly say she does'nt... its just my instinct telling me but im pretty sure she does'nt else i think along the line i would have heard her mention it to someone or just drop it in with casual chat

But then again if she is'nt really intrested then i don't want to do that either...

Anyone got some advice how i could dig the dirt in a general conversation without coming across like i really want to know....

HALP MEH BIT TECH!!

 

Life is too short mate talk to her find out what she likes to do try to be around but not in the way.

Take up a common interest what ever it is she likes to do.

Whats the worst that can happen its got to be better than what your doing to yourself over it lol

 

Well i could make myself look a complete bellend LOL! yeh but you're right

BRAWL gave me some pretty good advice aswell i need to find something to invite her too like a party or something

Something that seems like its not just us.. but that im showing intrest in her not just her as a number to a party

 

That just made little sense to me. Care to rephrase that?

My advice:
It's easy to spot attraction between two people, so long as you're not involved. Once you're involved, you wither want it (and see "signs" everywhere) or you don't believe it (and write everything off as "just friends..." when your mates point out that she wants you).
Since I can't see you two interacting (unless you put it on youtube - which I really wouldn't do - especially not THAT interacting... that belongs on other 'tubes) , I'm gonna go out on a limb here:
Just go up to her, and ask her if she wants to grab coffee or something after work/sometime.
Not "drinks" in general, as that sounds a bit like a date. Just coffee/tea/a milkshake/whatever you like to drink.

It gives off a clear indication of what you're interested in without going "ZOMG - I want to make you drunk and buttrape you".
At the same time, it's casual enough to get shot down without you "having tried anything".

If she accepts, it's all in the vibe. Don't let it get awkward, watch out for clear signals from her side: touching your arm while trying to get your attention, eye contact that lasts longer than it should, etc

 

It all sounds like a typical guy who's too scared to just simply talk to a girl he likes, have some fun, flirt a little, get to know her, go out places just to hang out, the next thing you know you're dating, etc....

...except for this bit:

What sort of dirt are you covertly looking for

Almost sounds like you're considering spying on her

 

Ok holy mother of god i should learn to proof read lets try that again


The last shift we worked together i tried to show her i was intrested by chatting alot more, flirting and if i saw her smiling at me smiling back.... (That sounds weirder than it is)

But at the same time i tried not making it all that obvious, after a little while we became alot more comfortable and we where chatting like we had been around each other for years flirting and generally getting along even better than before

When i left the shift that day as i was reading the rota she came in as she left to go out the door again, She turned round looked at me and gave me a really flirty cheeky smile (if that makes sense)

 

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad choice of words i mean in terms of slipping in things to a conversation to see if she has a boyfriend

 

Knee deep.

 

We have all made a prat of ourselves at some time and survived lol its what we do, And she may just see you differently, In a good way.

 

lol just go for it dude

As BentAnat posted, keep it a little casual. Talk, joke, flirt, etc. For example tell her she's "got a sexy smile" when she smile fcuks you like that, just as a casual compliment

And ask her out somewhere after work, keep it real casual, like simply mention how you wanna grab some fries or whatever at the takeaway joint, and ask or just tell her to come along

Exactly, and in a much better way than someone who was too scared to say it!

 

I was like this with one girl for ages like a year we spent time together but she had no clue I liked her that much I wanted her so bad! Then I asked her but by this time we left secondary school and she had gone a different direction and living quite far away from each other we couldn't get together easily and so we just kinda lost touch, prob what she wanted!!

Just go for it before it's too late and something changes! If things **** up then you don't work together that often so that won't matter!

 

Be assertive.

"Hey, we should grab a bite after work." and not "Would you like to join me...?"

Also, don't wait too long. That's the route to the friendzone.

 

AMEN, stonedsurd. Friend zone is achieved by waiting too long.
Always talk "positive". Treat things as done deal rather than asking if she'd maybe like to.

For example:
"Hey - we should go grab some fries there later. I hear they're awesome." would win over "Hey - I was thinking... that new fries joint is apparently killer... was wondering if maybe you'd like to get some fries there later... or tomorrow... or whenever suits you."
similarly - "Me and my mates are gonna go to this club later. Join us." is better than cautiously asking out.

It's all in being casual, confident and positive about things. The less choice you give her, the less she has to think about. The less she thinks about it, the better for you (initially).
She's possibly loaded with insecurities, so ASKING her might leat to her going "hmm...should I? But what if he doesn't mean it that way... maybe it's best to leave it... besides - grey's anatomy is on tonight".

My advice remains: short term (i.e. "tonight/tomorrow night" rather than "next week thursday at 7:30"), casual (Fries/Coffee/whatever you crazy kids drink/eat casually rather than Dinner, a movie and maybe later you can ask me up to your appartment), and give little choice without forcing her (I.e. "biaatch your a$$ is coming to this fries joint with me, or else i'll kill your puppy" is probably not going to go down well. She'll think you're a freak.)

 

this

 

........................your subtlety scares me...... however, this is sound advice.

The other good advice is dont wait too long. I've ended up in friendville before only for a mate to start banging, not a good feelin.

 

I do not want to meet the girl that that line would work on.

 

I know some and have slept with some of them. They have a sense of humour. It's all in the delivery though, and you really need to know the person rather well before pulling that one off. .
Usage on a woman that you don't know particularly well: not recommended.

 

Grow a pair.

 

Is it just me or has this place turned into a self help forum for young shy males who have girl problems lately?

 

How much does a polar bear weigh?...*Wait for answer* ... Nor me, but, we can discuss it over pizza on Friday night.


Ohh. pleeeeaasssee use that.. i'm waiting for someone to use the polarbear one.