Gaming Lula 3D Retrospective

We look back at a game most would rather forget, Lula 3D, to see if it's as bad as they said.

http://www.bit-tech.net/gaming/pc/2011/01/18/lula-3d-retrospective/1

 

This is clearly a plug, how much are the people cdv paying you guys?

 

The question on my mind is how the reviewer knows what an otter being put in a shredder actually sounds like one thinks the RSPCA might not like that!

Game sounds dreadful and even farming simulator would be better

 

Can this be included in your list of games for graphics card benchmarking please?

 

"It's a hint of crudery for people who never flicked through the mythical adult mag in the bushes at their local park"

How did you know? I thought I kept so quiet.

 

tried to get some info directly from cdv. not much info, no trailers ( wonder why lol) , scren shots don't work ( wonder why ). Finally got some intel off youtube, game video quality was rubbish, more akin to what was happening 10 years ago. There was clearly some nudity, even spotted some full on nudity in the bar/pole dancing sceen!!! GOD this game looks crappy, body mechanics look all wrong, the video of lula on the phone was one endless repeat of the same frames! the guys in this game all look like sleazy sex driven slobs high on controled substance with an IQ of a dead hamster. what in gods name possessed you to make a article of this? what was the point? even looking at windows 95 boot was more exciting than this game...

 

he was caught playing this game, 'catching some boobs' when his editor came up behind him, asking him what he was doing... 'euhm euhm reviewing a euh... game' he managed to get past his troath. With an evil grin on his face, the editor said 'i will be expecting it... have a nice day'

and so here it is...

 

Motion capture boobies?

Can you imagine the newspaper ad for that?

"Wanted. Women for motion capture. Must have: boobs - huge. Self-respect - tiny. Must be willing to stand on the spot and jiggle for five days."

 

Can I judge? Hubba! Hubba!

 

man I though bit-tech was taking some political path to express its views and opinions... then I started reading the actual article and my day its again quiet and calm

 

Did anyone in the whole of the universe see merit to buy this though? Surely it's only worth, like you say, for burning.

 

I don't know what I find more incredible: that you did a retrospective on this 'game'; that the retrospective ran to two pages; or that you played or even bought this in the first place.
Plus, I thought Joe was the perv.

 

OK, ignoring the fact the review is ridiculous..

it is great! That is one of the funniest reviews I've read in ages, thank you!

 

Wha?!

 

Lula 3D is a truly awful game. Play Frontal Assault if you really want boobs in a game.

http://fa.xmunkki.org/

 

E.g. http://www.bit-tech.net/blog/gaming/2009/06/29/games-i-own-sin-and-sin-episodes/
http://www.bit-tech.net/blog/gaming/2009/09/26/games-i-own-dungeon-keeper-theme-park-th/

You know it's true.
Time for you to graduate to bishoujo... [shudders]

 

Why?

Why do a retrospective on a game which most people will have never heard of to tell us its awful and we should avoid it? Your Blur retrospective has a point; it was a good game by an established developer that went unnoticed due to poor advertising and its launch time. Doing retrospectives on classics to see how they have aged and what their legacy has been is interesting.

To be blunt some of the articles and opinion pieces that have appeared under the 'bit-gamer' banner have been the worst on the site.

 

TO laught a litle bit? they offer some nice comedy momments!!