LOL Idiotic things customers/people have said to you

pmsl ...

 

Didn't happen to me but it's too funny not to share.

A colleague was supporting a user that had some problems accessing our apps.

So he connect to her machine using VNC and asked her to open the app window.

Colleague "Oh, that's strange I don't happen to see anything. Did you give me the right IP address? Please check."

Sure enough it was the right address.

Colleague "Ah! do you have more than one monitor?"

User "Yes"

Colleague "In that case could you move the app onto the other screen?"

User "Sure"

*User puts the phone on the desk and faint rumbles can be heard*

Several minutes later a colleague of the user can be heard saying:

User colleague "User, what are you doing?"
User "The gentleman asked me to move this onto the other side"

User colleague "No you dimwit, he meant the application not the monitor"

 

Facts about John Noakes

I used to run a pre-digital camera shop...

Woman walks in: "Oh I've walked in to the wrong shop, but I'll ask you anyway - do you sell soap dishes?"

Man walks in with dead camera: "I took out the old batteries and put in durex - but it still won't work"

Man walks in wanting a photo for a locket and asks the price. I talk him through the prices for hand printed orders and tell him that it'll be at the cheapest rate as it falls into the "Under two inches square" rate. Customer proceeds to go off into a full all-caps rage, b*tching that he won't pay the 2"x2" price as the locket is smaller. Before I can calm him down, he's barging shoulders with other customers and storming out.

The sad bit... The crazy fool doing the ranting was John Noakes. Entirely ruined my child-hood memories of the man.

 

Yes, advisor, not nanny. If you ask for something specific, and that something not being what you actually mean, because you know sweet f all, but think you know everything, then expect to be given the wrong thing. Hope that makes sense.

 

I did a stint in a Sony Centre many moons ago:

Day 1: Woman comes in wanting a new bulb for her Sony microwave. She went all-caps on me when I very politely suggested she may have a Sanyo microwave as Sony don't make microwaves and therefore we don't sell bulbs for them. She proceeded to call me a liar and that she'd even bought the microwave from us. Suffice to say she wouldn't listen to my suggestions on which shops did sell bulbs and stormed out after several minutes.

Day 2: Woman comes back in saying she needs a bulb for her Sanyo microwave. No apology for yesterday's rant, it's as if it never happened. When I explained that we didn't sell bulbs as Sony don't make microwaves she had another rant about how rubbish Sony were and stormed out.

Some people, you just can't help.

 

If ignorance is bliss Greg, I bet you smile all day

 

Hopefully he just worked out to leave a PS/2 keyboard plugged in for the bootup stuff if you never heard anything

The only customer I had like that was someone that wanted a modem, I asked whether he wanted external or internal (back in the dialup days), he bought the internal one and left, came back in the store with the desktop complaining that it didn't work, I asked him to show me what he was doing...and he was trying to fit a PCI modem into the ISA slot, that was before getting into whether it would have worked properly with a machine so old it had a riser for the expansion slots to plug in horizontally like my first ever machine from six years before.

Most likely it was refunded, I never found out as it was the end of my shift and I'd already been delayed, so let the evening guys take it over.

 

Now I'm not trolling, but I sort of understand where Blart is coming from.

The UK sales experience is fundamentally flawed in that sales assistants aren't given enough training to WANT to help the customers, and the companies simply ignore their customer service, screw customers that want refunds and generally throw their weight around.

Holz17 in this case is not the villain, the customer is for being SUCH A D*CK but maybe with some more training and a better manager the store could have made more profit.

Oh and I bet if Holz17 HAD tried to upsell the right product this w*nker would have just moaned about having his time wasted.

 

Frankly anyone who works in general customer service/sales advisor roles and *expects* their customers to know things doesn't deserve the job.

That's why your job exists. It doesn't matter if they're the biggest moron on the face of the earth. It's your job to help them understand their choice and make the right decision.

If they're agressive then fair enough, do whatever you want.

I once went into a wood mill place. I had literally no idea what I was talking about. I wanted some wood, that was about as much as I knew. The guy was awesome and talked me through everything I needed to know. I probably said 50 things he could've put in this thread and people in the trade would have laughed oh so heartilly. I'm sure there are plenty of trades where you personally would sound like a complete idiot.

Stupid customers aren't an excuse for a bad service.

 

I fear this thread I've started is going to go down hill very quickly

And Zinfandel, I agree stupid customers are not a reason to give bad service. That isn't what the thread's about. I often sound stupid when going into some places, it would be amusing if someone who had served me actually posted in this thread

And I'm fine with people not understanding things, it's when they're unwilling to listen to advice.

 

Oh jeez, I could fill this entire thread! One of my most recent and best came from our help desk manager. "The user has reported that their monitor has stopped working but I can see their desktop when I remote in."

 

Sorry about that .

Back on track. I had a customer when I used to work at lillywhites who had decided I was very rude when I told her we didn't have some shoes in stock.

Then I went to to the next customer realising I couldn't argue back.

That turned out to be the mother of the customer and I got shouted at even more.

Yeah its my fault lillywhites doesn't bother stocking up.....

 

Well today- This prize actually goes to my colleague...

(by the way, we are IT technicians, all we do is fix computers)

"Colleague A - Oh, we have Customer X on the phone."
"Colleague B - Who?."
"Colleague A - Customer X, you know the escalation."
"Colleague B - Oh yeah the guy calling about his computer"

Wow, just wow.

 

Apologies double post.

 

So..in conclusion will this 775 socket mobo for my Athlon CPU let me to both hear and speak to people on my blackberry? <snigger> lol

 

Damn you Blarte! *shakes fist in the air*

 

<looks lost and slightly confused> so is that a no or a yes and can I have two please

Thanks Noiz ..Now sat in front of screen with stupid grin, giving away the fact I am not doing "work" at all but enjoying some light entertainment lol

 

I'll just leave this here...

 

I am deaf and my colleagues know that very well. Sometimes they come up to me with the phone - "call for you" then they realise....!

 

LOOOOOL