LOL Idiotic things customers/people have said to you

You've just summed up teenagers and apple- well done.

 

lol yeah saw that after posted but it was too late- would have showed the edit xD I am a serial edit guy.. I know my engrish is bad- make no qualms about it!

think my the point is (do I even have one)- the customer is always right.. they don't care how it gets done- they just want the finished product in their hands.. even if that means changing their mind right in the middle of the job!

they don't want or have to know about the half hour I had to spend remixing ink.. or the ink I had to throw out that was already mixed.. it's the same everywhere

 

Just read through the entire thread...
Some great stories, so I'm definitely putting it up in my sticky for when anymore come up.

 

I had another classic today. User has been complaining of strange glitches with her computer but I have never been able to replicate them so I decided to swap out the computer with a spare so I could run it as my desktop to see how it would perform. Went to clear the usual rubbish off of the computer, post it notes, stickers and ornaments. Picked up a large sign thing and the entire PC lifted off the desk about an inch before it fell back down again. Stupid idiot had stuck a bloody great magnet onto her PC.

 

Some kids in my school were asking why I would spend £600 on my gaming PC, when I could by an alienware.

Facepalming from my friends ensues.

 

Ah. But those signs are awesome. Cisco ship them with some of their smaller switches. It's basically a magnet mat the same size as the switch so that you can stick the switch to metal surfaces.

 

Happened a couple weeks ago, but the customer was by today so I was reminded of this incident:

One of our team riders has a rather nice fully custom carbon race bike that he puts silly amounts of miles on. For nearly a year we have been trying in desperation to figure out what the strange creaking/cracking noise is, doing everything from dousing the bike in lubricant to full top to bottom rebuild, nearly resorting to full frame replacement to eliminate the noise. Every single time we do something with this bike the noise will go away for a while, then mysteriously reappear. Nobody could figure this out, until it came across my bench once more, whereupon I noticed that once again the quick release for the rear wheel was looser than specification. In the past I had always chalked this up to the owner being a bit lazy whilst bringing it in, as he had to pack it right down to fit in his car, so I didn't think anything of it.

Well, upon confrontation about this to the customer I received a response of "Oh, well that is how tight I've been shown to keep it, and how I've always done it - but it couldn't be that, it's something else."

Face hit palm, and a brief explanation of proper torque specification for the part was given, and 100% of the noise issues went away just by tightening up one small, oft overlooked part.

I don't know what is worse: the man hours spent trying to find a problem that wasn't really there via the most intensive of means, or that it was one of our staff members that showed the owner an improper way to tighten a rather vital part of their bike.

 

From an "AV expert" at the local big-box electronics store:

"Why would you want to use those? Self-powered speakers are a gimmick."

(Yes, four hundred dollars of studio monitors and a subwoofer custom-built to compliment them are totally a gimmick. Totally. That blows away every "high quality" speaker in your listening room.)

"You can't EQ a digital [DVD, etc] signal"

Yeah. I went, I saw, I learned what I was looking for (preamp outs and onboard EQs are vanishingly rare in home theater receivers), I left. And laughed.

 

In the UK? You've got the genral answer:

"You can always try poundland"

The second..because he believed him and spent his and your time for no avail...

 

Oh, I misread, ignore

 

Yeah, it's not like any professional recording studios use active monitors or anything!

 

Customer: We had a new server on Friday.
Me: ..Really? I thought it was just a new UPS
Customer: Well, whatever it is, it broke the faxes.

It hadn't. They just hadn't checked and decided to assume it was broken, because opening the fax centre software on their PC seemed like a chore.

 

Similar story in my case:

Aaron: Alessandro, I know you know a lot about computers and build them ect, so I think you'll know this.

Me: Yes?

Aaron: Are alienware good?

Me: Facepalms all round.

 

Well I've changed department, so now I have a whole new cavalcade of stupidity to look forward to and it's already begun. (I've moved to Beers, Wines and Spirits btw)

Stereotypical Chav like woman - "Ere! Where's you Lambrini duck?" (that is quoted verbatim, ugh)
Me - "It's just on the end here madam." *trot,trot,trot,point* "Can i help with anything else?"
Her - "How come it aint with the wine?"
Me - "Well it isn't actually a wine, it's a sparkling perry so should probably be with the ciders more than the wines but we just meet halfway and put it with the party drinks."
Her - "What do you mean it aint wine?"

 

omg lol what was he wearing then, i bet he had creseas on, should have pointed it out

 

That happens like everyday..

 

The IT head at my secondary school saw a friend swiveling the CRT monitor on a school computer once while he was logging in and said (I kid you not): "don't turn the monitor while the computer's loading, it'll damage the hard-drive!"

Now, since they were crappy flat-profile cases and the monitors were huge CRTs stood on top of the cases, this may actually have been true - but what really got me is that hard-drives are pretty much always reading/writing while a computer's on, and that he, the head technician for the whole school, had set things up this way and had not thought that being able to turn the monitor while the computer was on was something that students would want to do. In his world, shutting down your computer before you adjust the monitor and then turning it on again was apparently a totally reasonable way of doing things.

 

Erm... I like this thread?

 

More tales from the deli department ( I've been reminiscing ):

A few times a week a Dutch ( I think, hard to place the accent ) lady would come in and look at the hot cooked chickens we had in the hot food counter. Everytime, without fail, she would ask in a totally serious way "is it just an optical illusion, or are some of the chickens slightly bigger than the others?"



"Err, yes, they are all large chickens but they will vary slightly, can't be helped I'm afraid..."



Would be nice if we could clone the chickens and force-feed them exactly the same amount of food, and exercise them the same amount, but I think the veggies and animal rights brigade would have more of a fit than they do now...

 

College friend sits down and turns monitor on....

"ARGH! WHY IS MY RESOLUTION ALL YELLOW!!"