LOL Idiotic things customers/people have said to you

Yeah I hate when that happens. I much prefer a purplish resolution.

 

I prefer the green teletubby field resolution.

 

Every day at closing time I put the shutters down and you get the idiot who will always ask if you shut. That is even with the times shown by the door as well.

All you want to do us quickly today up before you leave and they always want to ask you one question.

Sent from my GT-I9000

 

Jesus Christ.

 

A customer came in the store and walked up to two other customers in the store and says to them "did you know that a father and son team from BC (british columbia, canada) invented the hard drive"


same customer told me he was inventing a new bicycle hitch. he also told a coworker that he was going down the to US to talk to Obama....

 

Have a feeling your customer was out on day release mate !

 

...especially since everyone knows that hard drives were invented by Evan Jones and his brother Owain in Merthyr Tydfil in 1879 (the original was coal/steam powered but never really got popular because computers hadn't been invented yet).

True story

 

I just had imaginings of a welsh accent saying 'Oh, it works off platters now dies it, oh that's lovely. Where to are you going to put the connector thingies?'

 

The problem being that most English people's version of a Welsh accent very quickly turns into a Pakistani accent straight out of a 1970s sitcom...

 

Me: Thank you for calling big cheese pizza, will this be for pickup or delivery?
Customer: I'd like a large pepperoni.
Me: For pickup or delivery sir?
Customer: And an order of breadsticks.
Me: ...for pickup or delivery?
Customer: And a 2 liter of Coke.
Me: Sir! Would you like us to deliver the food to your house or are you going to come pick it up?
Customer: If you could deliver it that would be great.
Me: Okay, can I get your phone number please?(we are required to get the phone numbers on all orders so if there is a problem with the order or the driver cant find the house, we can call the customer)
Customer:What do you need my phone number for? that's weird!

the last response would be understandable if it wasn't usually followed by
Me:And what is the name?(I always ask to confirm the name and make sure the phone number was correct)
Customer: Don't you have it right there? I order from here all the time!

 

I too work in a bike shop and stuff like this is amazingly irritating. I spent a weekend test riding a customer's SuperSix. Absolutely hammered it, couldn't get a peep of noise out of it. Weeks later turns out the pedals he was using had a larger flange that was rubbing on his carbon cranks. I always tested it with flats

Biggest complaint of mine is when I test ride a bike and it's fine. Customer collects and instantly cross-chains/shifts while mashing the pedals or worse.

 

Well it's not a customer this time, it's my new department manager.

"I never take time off ill unless i'm literally bedridden. It sets a bad precedent otherwise."

Yeah thanks for that you complete f*cking tw*t. Me and my missus have now both got literally the worst flu we can remember having(and she's got 20 years on me). I've called the doctor out for her because she isn't well enough to even be driven a mile to the GP's.

Am I in a minority when i think that as soon as you're ill with something as infectious as the flu that you should just stay the hell away? Especially when working in a supermarket since all you're going to do is infect customers and yet more staff having an even more detrimental effect on man hours/productivity.

/rant

 

Not shop/customer related, just somthing from home.

The other day my mum was holding a tube of ice from out the freezer to put in a jug of Pimms. My dad walks in and asks her, "Where did you find that?"

 

Nooo, I do excellent and highly offensive renditions of both

 

Where I work part of what I do involves asking the caller "Where did you find our number today please ?"

Only to get the standard response "Oh, I've use you lots of times, I'm surprised you don't know me"

I'm sat there thinking we take 1000 calls a day, 4000 odd calls a month, how am I expected to remember you ? Not to mention we have a geographic phone number which means any of the centres in the UK could have spoken to them.

 

Our takeaway outlets are very, very small in this town. We frequently phone for deliveries on a friday or saturday only to give the order and have them say 'Ok, half hour, forty minute' before us giving a number or address and hang up with the food arriving 20 minutes later lol

I'm not sure if this reflects badly on our eating habits or not

 

Open day at work so the student recruitment team were putting temporary signs up all over the place. They call me over and point to a big pile of laminated A4 paper with big arrows printed on them.

Derp: Can you help me as we don't have the correct signs.
Me: Yeah sure, what's the problem?
Derp: We need left arrows and up arrows, these are all right arrows.

I pick up the sign and rotate it 90 degrees.

Me: Thats an up arrow.

Rotate it another 90 degrees.

Me: That's a left arrow.
Derp: I look a bit stupid now dont I?

I then get asked if I know how to put up the sail flags with the school names on them. Again I say no problem and go get the flags, fill the bases full of water and assemble them outside the main entrance of the building. Another one of then recruitment team approaches.

Derp 2: Those look great but can you make the flag go the other way as it will be easier to read from the road?
Me: I can't as its the wind that makes it point in that direction.
Derp 2: But if you move the base around the flag will point in the other direction.
Me: Ok.

I rotated the base to face the other way.

Derp 2: The flag is still facing the wrong direction.
Me: Yeah its the wind.
Derp 2: Oh well we will will just have to live with it.

 

I can't help but laugh at some people's stupidity. Anyway, my friend Tim asked his friend Dan what the resolution of his (Dan's) monitor was, after a long pause, Dan said "contrast."

 

What? I don't get it? Do these people think resolution means the colour of the button on the monitor or something? I didn't quite get the 'resolution is yellow' one either.

 

'Tis a rare and wonderful thing, when stupidity be so profound that ordinary folk cannot fatholm it. - Oscar Wilde