Other I'm getting married, speech help required

Yes, humour is OK.
For that matter, I would never do stuff like that without humour... keep it PC, though... don't want to offend the black guy at your wedding, or the wife's jewish uncle...
So while a little remark to your best man may be OK, a "your hair looks shite today" to your wife's mom is not OK, even if your best man thinks it's funny.

 

First: congrats
Second: It's supposed to be a happy day, so yes, a bit of humour is ok.

Didn't have too much to say - basically the lady told all the good stuff, so i kept it short. I'm happy everyone is here to celebrate the special day with us. Hope they enjoy the time. Thanks for showing up. Let the party begin.

 

1: Stand up
2: Say "Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking..."
3: Sit down

 

Remember to thank the brides parents for producing such a wonderful and enchanting human being that you completely lost your heart to and thank the universe for your luck everyday.

 

Hey everyone firstly thanks for replying with your helpful and not so helpful ideas. Some of the legitimate things that have been said I hadn't thought of. Some of the other stuff had me laughing my head off. I love the idea of a wookie abduction, that is hilarious, as is crying under the table.
I'm bushed at the minute with work, Ill kids, online course, wedding and decorating but after the weekend things should settle down and I can set to writing some notes.

Can anybody shed light on etiquette for a wedding gift for the wifey, I'm assuming I should get her something but do I give it to her on the morning of the wedding or after the ceremony. I'm thinking of getting flowers delivered to the house, but it has to be early obviously. Though I'm stumped for a gift generally we like completely opposite things, and what is a good wedding gift for your own wedding, I'm guessing a spice rack or a new pan set is out

 

I always thought the bride got her gift after the reception? Traditionally, 9 months after.

Seriously though, Congrats on getting married!

 

Gift ? You'll already be GIVING Her Half of everything you already have .. AND THEY WANT MORE !!!!

 

A gift for the wife?! When did they make that up?!

 

"On behalf of my wife and I..." big cheer, nobody listens to the rest. Tell your wife how amazing she is, how good a job her parents have done bringing her up, all that.

Thank your bride's parents, thank your parents, thank the best man, thank whoever did the ceremony, thank those who helped decorating the venue, thank whoever made the place settings, etc etc.

Toast the bridesmaids.

Easy as that.

Oh and yeah apparently you get each other gifts now - news to me until I got mine on the morning of!

Colin C

 

Congratulations
if you have to read it from prompt cards then my 1 piece of advice is this. Part way through say something along the lines of.
"I apologise for reading this but i didn't want my nerves to get the better of me and me mistake a make (OR make a miscake/mismake)". You get the general idea. Actually happened to me at my wedding completely by accident with a roar of laughter from everyone and after that i was cool and calm.
And if your thanking people finish of by thanking the bride for casting aside all others and choosing to spend the rest of her life with you. It will be met by an instant round of awws

 

Get her a GTX580. If she hasn't got her own PC, it'll have to go in yours...

If she complains, tell her how much it cost!

 

Perhaps I'm getting blind in my old age, but I read that "Toast" as "roast" the bridesmaids.

Wondered what kind of weddings you'd been to..

 

I can't give much advice but i have been a best man to my brothers wedding

Let me tell you... it was one of the most nerve racking expiriences of my life! at the time i was 17 so i could'nt (legally) drink so i was sober and infront of alot of people i had never met

My brother said when he had to do it the speech he wrote went out the window and just let it flow if you do that its alot more natural, its not a business presentation so you don't need a strict script if you do that you limit yourself to no **** ups

 

The best advice I can give is practice, practice and practice. Make sure you read it aloud to yourself, the dog, your best man and anyone else who will listen (apart from the bride). Don't try to learn it off by heart or read it straight from the page (and yes you really should write it down) as it will sound false. Time it so you are not speaking to quickly or slowly. Mine was 5 minutes.

Don't get so drunk you can't speak, do smile when you get up (shouldn't be difficult on your big day), don't tell "in" jokes that other people won't get, do compliment your wife at least once. Dont tell so many jokes that people don't get the punchlines. Three is a good number, one at the beginning ( I used "Not for the first time today do I rise up from a seat clutching a warm piece of paper in my hand) and then a couple of other during the speech. Don't wait to long for people to laugh, they either will or won't.

The most important thing about the whole speech is ENJOY it. You will only do it once ( hopefully) so make it the best speech you can. oh and don't forget to PRACTICE!!!

 

I think humor is a must. But avoid inside jokes or puns that not everybody will get. Keep it simple.

You could use my brothers speech

 

First off congrats mate

Secondly, your speech is personal to you, and is probably the one thing you will have most control over the entire day...

This is mine - following on from my Father in law (who cried during his lol)

Thank you [Father-in-Law] for your kind words.

Distinguished guests, relatives, friends and freeloaders

On behalf of my wife and I, thank you all for joining us today to celebrate our marriage!

It’s a privilege to be in the company of so many people that are important in our lives and we’re delighted to welcome you here to share our special day with us.

It’s great to see you all and I can honestly say it would not have been the same without you.
Events like today don’t just happen. We have been planning this wedding for some time now.

Well, I say "we", [Wife] actually did most of the work, as one of the best things about being a man is that weddings seem to organise themselves. So to [Wife] and everyone else who has helped organise today I would like to say a big thank you.

Now as is custom, there will be a few toasts during my speech, so please don’t down the whole glass at the first toast…mentioning no names (Mum!).

To start with, I would like to take this opportunity to say that unfortunately, there are some people close to our hearts who cannot be with us today. I know they would have enjoyed it immensely. Our thoughts are with them and we know that their thoughts are with us.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses .... to ABSENT AND LOST, FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

On behalf of my wife and I, we would like to thank both sets of parents as we wouldn’t be where we are today if it wasn’t for them. If we can be half the parents they are to us then I’m sure we won’t go far wrong.

To [Father-in-law] and [step-father-in-law] and [mother-in-law]
Traditionally I am supposed to thank you both at this point for welcoming me into your families, but it seems strange for me to do that today as you have both made me feel like a part of it for years now. I genuinely could not have asked for nicer in-laws and thank you for bringing [Wife] up to become the women that I have married today. I love [wife] with all of my heart and will do everything I can to continue to make her happy. As a token of our appreciation please accept these flowers and gifts.

To my Mum, A special thank you for all your love and support over the years. You’ve always been there when I’ve needed you. You’ve got me through thick and thin. I feel extremely lucky to have such wonderful Mum. You have taught me so much and have always encouraged me to make the most of every opportunity I have had. It must be very hard to come to terms that you raised such a perfect son. As a token of our appreciation please accept these flowers.
So, Ladies and Gentleman, please raise your glasses .... TO THE PARENTS.

That leads me on to the star of today, my gorgeous new wife [wife] – I can’t even begin to tell you how absolutely-stunningly gorgeous you look today. When I saw you coming up the aisle I realized how lucky I am, I looked at myself and realized that it is definitely me getting the best of this deal.

[wife], I love you in so many ways and for so many reasons, you know me and understand me like no one else ever could, you make me laugh so hard and smile so often, you have a way of bringing out the very best in me, but mostly because you’re my very best friend, my soul mate. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for marrying me and making me the happiest man alive and also for our beautiful wee boy, [son]. I know this is the start of many more happy years together.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please raise your glasses, for the most important toast I’m ever likely to make .... TO MY WIFE, MY BRIDE, TO [wife].

Tradition now dictates that I now tell you an amusing story or two about [wife]. However, “The Mrs” as I shall now be calling her, dictates that I do no such thing. But I will say this. We have been together for over 3 years and in that time I’ve learned a very valuable lesson.

Whenever I’m Wrong - Admit It!!
Whenever I’m Right - Keep Quiet!!

And if you believe that you’ll believe anything.

To our bridesmaids, [wife's mate], [wife's sister] and [my sister], I’m sure everyone will agree that you all look stunning today. Thank-you for your help and for being there for my new wife. I know how much support you have all given [wife] up to and including this day. A big thank you also to the extremely pretty [god-daughter] for being our flower girl. I’d like to just ask everyone to raise your glasses and join me in a toast .... TO THE BRIDESMAIDS AND FLOWERGIRL

A big thank you must also go to our ushers [brother in law] and [great mate], for helping to make today run so smoothly, but mostly for turning up sober.

Finally to my best man [best mate]. I personally, would like to thank you for agreeing to be my best man; I couldn’t have asked more from you. [best mate] is the best friend a man can have, but the only slight drawback is that he does live in a bit of a fantasy world which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories are true so please humour him during his speech.

That’s enough from me

I would like to thank you all once again and hope you have a great evening
It now gives me great pleasure to hand over to [best mate]. And please, feel free to heckle him.

As you can see, mix of humour and seriousness. It went down a storm and definitely helped having a few jars before standing up

 

That's what I did and like others I just made it up on the spot. It's more genuine if its not scripted and everyone you need to thank or mention will be in front of you so you shouldn't forget anybody. For jokes I just remembered one good line that I could throw in at the right point. We did the speeches before the meal, it was a lot more informal and everyone was still sober. The big bonus to doing that way is all the formalities are over and people can enjoy themselves. I know my best men and the father in law would not have enjoyed their meal if they had been stressing about doing a speech.

My sister came out with a good line about speeches. "A wedding speech is like a kilt, it should be long enough to cover the important bits but short enough to be interesting."

 

Couple of things:

Firstly as the groom your job is mostly to stand there and thank people - the Father of the Bride for his speech, everyone for attending, the various members of the wedding party (with gifts as appropriate). If you can get a bit of humor in then great but don't stress on that too much.

Try not to be nervous - remember everyone is there to celebrate your wedding and you'll never have a more receptive when you make your speech - everyone will be on your side.

Don't plan it too carefully - maybe make up a couple of cue cards of points you need to hit - the necessary thankyous, a header for an anecdote maybe, but let the speech flow naturally.

Don't stress it too much though - its like the first dance - a few uncomfortable minutes in an otherwise wonderful day.

 

So it is tomorrow, it has come round fast. I've got a speech scripted which I'll put onto cue cards this evening. Nothing like leaving things till the last minute...