LOL *NSFW* *The new Demote thread*

Here's some demote for you:

Have We Reached Peak Bacon?

 

It's probably a temporary hiccup, which should sort itself out in due time. Won't stop me from paying a premium in the mean time, as I think bacon merits it's own food group.

The Jews and Muslims don't eat pork, and look how well things have turned out for them.

 

The middle east just generally needs to sit down with some beer and bacon butties... [and marmite...]

 

Would probably sort out a lot of problems!

 

Marmite? Do we want to start another war?!?

 

A lot of this holds true for me atleast...

 

Indeed. Found myself agreeing with most of them.

 

+1

 

Indeed, most of those were chuckle-inducing in their familiarity. One of the few I would take exception with - the Meal Deal: I don't see why a sandwich, crisps and bottle of water can't be termed a meal. I'm led to believe there's more than a few people who would gladly accept that as a meal. As for the 'deal' side of things? Well, if the 3 items individually are cheaper than when bought in combination, maybe, but I've not come across such an example myself. What it should refer to though is inflation - the majority of food items, and fuel, have doubled in price over the last 20 years, average incomes have not.

 

The White Wizard of the Night....



Saruman?

 

#31 is my constant friend

 

My particular favourites: 3, 5, 8, 18, 20, 25, 27, 29, 31.

 

Why is it necessary to copy+paste all that text into paint, then save it as an image??

There's even more gold here: https://twitter.com/British_problem

 

Sharing an image is much easier than copying a whole block of text, which when pasted usually loses it's formatting and turns into one massive paragraph/block.

 

Else it looks like:

1. I met Rolf Harris when I was young and he didn't try anything. Now I think I was an ugly child.

2. I've just had to tell BT I want porn.

3. I can't go anywhere without being told to Keep Calm and do something.

4. I made eye contact with a stranger on the tube. We both looked away out of the window, and our reflections made eye contact.

5. Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that's right.”

6. Briefly opening the window and letting in fifty midges, twenty flies, seven bees, two pigeons and a fox.

7. Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed “cheers”, “ta” and “nice one.”

8. Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change.

9. We have to opt in to view porn but we can't opt out of royal baby news.

10. I want to buy a cheap pair of tracksuit bottoms for the gym but every pair I find is expensive because chavs wear them as fashion items.

11. Prince George is a year old and has already visited half the countries I've always wanted to.

12. I get more text messages from my local Dominos, than from any of my friends.

13. I pay £9000 to go to this university and they haven't even put Dyson Airblades in the toilets.

14. I wish to feed myself at Heathrow but do not want to go into debt.

15. I tutted at someone who pushed into the queue, and they turned and looked at me.

16. My 64 year old father has only just heard of Benedict Cumberbatch and thinks his name is so hilarious that he's constantly saying it aloud and chuckling to himself.

17. I got 5 minutes into one of Jamie's 30 Minute Meals then realised I'd forgotten to grow a herb garden in my kitchen.

18. At £4.89, a ham sandwich, bag of crisps and bottle of water is neither a “meal” nor a “deal.”

19. I accidentally bought a bottle of Coke with “Richard” on it and now co-workers won't stop making jokes about a Dick in my mouth.

20. Tesco want £2.50 for an empty jam jar..... On the next aisle they are charging 30p for the same jar filled with pickled onions.....

21. WH Smiths charge you 1p for a plastic bag because they're being “environmentally conscious”, then give you an entire tree's worth of receipts and discount vouchers.

22. We ran out of Yorkshire Tea bags at work so now I have to drink Tetley like some kind of animal.

23. If “Google Fiber” comes to the UK I worry they won't spell Fibre correctly.

24. The Canadians have stolen our stereotype of being polite, but we're too polite to make a fuss over it.

25. Every pub meal is now served on a ****ing chopping board.

26. I told my friend to “pop round whenever” and she actually turned up unannounced.

27. Not knowing whether to search for “United Kingdom”, “Great Britain” or “England” on drop down boxes.

28. Scientists have slaved for years to produce a sheet of material one atom thick. Unfortunately for them the makers of my bin bags beat them to it.

29. I always say “excuse me” when what I really mean is “Get the **** out of my way you retarded ****! What made you think that was a sensible place to stand you ****ing ******?”

30. The three second jingle for BBC One on the iPlayer is significantly louder than the programmes.

31. Lorries travelling at 56.0023mph that feel a desperate urge to overtake other lorries that are travelling at 55.9981mph on the only stretch of dual carriageway for the next 20 miles.

32. I want the London look, but my front teeth touch.

 

+Rep for having to state the obvious...

GIF time:







Nice...

 

Oh, look, it's busty people doing everyday things. How special.

 

I don't get it?

 

It looks like a "to do" check list. Check off the box at the end of each week and marvel at your prowess of not dying yet.