Other What's ruining your life right now?

I don't need a lecture on modern parenting, but thanks any way. I'm glad you were there to assess the situation, as it gives you the perfect opportunity to chastise me.

 

You're welcome. You're a grown man complaining about a child's behaviour in one of the most unpleasant settings there is. I'm guilty of rolling my eyes in judgement about what I view as crappy parenting or a-hole kids in a lot of settings, but A&E? Surely if there's anything that needs context, or just gets a pass, that's it.

 

TBH, I think those of us without kids are very quick to judge the behaviour of kids regardless of context.

If I was in A&E and some kid was screaming about peanuts I'd be assuming that the kid was fine and just being a jerk because kids often appear to have no concept of other people (Because.. Kids, I guess?) and it seems popular for a lot of parents to take the 'ahh, **** it' approach to parenting these days.

Eh. I know it's 1920's, but I like the 'seen but not heard' theory on kids.. Probably a good thing I don't want any tiny, drunk, humans.


As for O/T: While I seem to have ditched the fever, and the cough is still lurking, the whole .. Moving more than five feet produces sweats equivalent to a run.. Stupid meat sack and its ability to get ill.

 

Not lining up to dunk on you here, but this is just ridiculous. Kids aren't miniature adults, and expecting them to behave as such is unreasonable.

Aye, indeed.

Because kids? Because adults too by the looks of things.

 

Yeah, I know, and that's why I can't stand kids. They're annoying, loud, and as far as I can tell completely without positives. To me, kids are miniature drunks. They have very little common sense, as far as I can tell, very little ability to look after themselves, and seem to be fond of being stroppy for <insert any of a variety of reasons>.

Not saying the majority of adults are better than kids (Hell, 17 million brits voted to be poorer a couple of years back, that's pretty dumb IMO), but at least there's a slightly better chance of being able to talk an adult towards sense.

Plus, they cry a lot, and that seems to unleash an unholy river of snot and oh good lord no.

Yes, yes, everyone was a kid once blah blah blah, but that doesn't mean I have to like and/or tolerate them.

I'm also not fond of the social construct that means any new parents become 100% about their kids.. I mean, I get that on a biological level you've now got something that's 50% you and 50% your partner (Unless you adopted, but..) which is most likely going to be the biggest project in your life - But does that really necessitate the six thousand pictures an hour and ten minute videos of it doing what literally every other kid has done before? I'm not convinced it does.

My partner's brother's girlfriend has a brother (Boy that's a mouthful..) with a tiny human, and she routinely shows us videos of it wobbling around on its feet. Like.. Who gives a ****? If it was two minute video of it learning to fly using its barely-formed mind, then ****, I might be interested. But learning to walk? That's not an achievement worth a goddamn video. Perhaps an exception would be made if doctors had said the tiny human would never walk because <reason>, but even then, I'm not entirely convinced it's worth a video..

It should come as no surprise that my desire to have kids is somewhere in the region of 'not now, not ever'.

I don't begrudge people having kids (although I'm somewhat undecided if people ever consider there's several billion people already, and perhaps adopting might be a slightly less population-explosion way to raise another human..), I begrudge that they expect me to give a ****, or tolerate shitty behaviour because they don't have the skills to impart good behavioural traits on their spawn.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if there should be a test to see if a couple that wants a kid are sufficiently equipped to not raise a piece of **** kid.

 

Some people wanna be parents - and some don't.

I think it's fantastic that we have the ability to choose this with modern birth control, because as bad as parents can be, among the worst parents are people who didn't actually want kids in the first place.

As a parent I can agree that sometimes kids are confusing, grumpy, demanding little sods, that can take a lot of your time. However good parenting can certainly teach a child how to behave and be comforted in a variety of situations. And for me, the fulfilment I get is worth the commitment.

It means something to the parent, and perhaps to immediate blood relatives. But I am not even interested in my cousins' kids, let alone someone I'm not related to. And as we established, I'm a dad. I TOTALLY get why you aren't even remotely interested here!!

 

As someone with a nearly 5 month old baby boy, I can tell you you're missing out on the most rewarding, joyous, exciting and perspective-changing processes a person can go through.

No other achievement even comes close.

 

It's rewarding to YOU. That doesn't mean it'd be rewarding to someone else if they had a child/children.

I made a life choice not to have any. I don't regret it. I do enjoy videos of my niece, but it doesn't make me want to go out and have some of my own. Couple that with my ex and her 14 year old horror child, I'm safe in the knowledge that I'll get my rewards elsewhere, thank you.

 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd never advocate taking away the right to choose which side of the coin you want to be in when it comes to kids - I just wish people who had kids were a little more self-reflective when it comes to their own ability to impart behavioural traits in a healthy, child friendly, way. Not always true, but shitty kids do seem to often have shitty parents.

Still, though, I find kids just.. Frustrating. I can't communicate with them, I've no interest in performing the necessary kid-maintenance procedures that're required, they're unreasonable (I know, I know, they haven't the brainspace to learn how to be adult-grade-reasonable as babies/toddlers, but then there's the teenage years..).

Eh. To me kids embody the phrase 'this is why we can't have nice things'. I can't understand how they're 'rewarding'. I've heard various explanations (The closest to making me think they're possibly worth it was Scrubs 'it's like having a dog that slowly learns to talk' until I remembered I didn't want to look after a dog either) but they all come across as the desperate justifications of an exhausted person.

That just sounds like exactly the same stuff I've heard from every other parent. And it's never managed to convince me that I want to never sleep properly again (Be it kid keeping you up, or worry about the kid keeping you up), throw money into a bottomless pit that I can't swear at (Working on cars is a bottomless pit, but I can swear at that. And hit things with hammers.), and deal with the very real possibility that it's going to turn into a dickhead teenager.

I agree that it changes perspectives - But I don't enjoy what it changes perspectives to. Because kids are gross.

 

I'm probably biased as ours sleeps through EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... to the point of me having to wake HIM up when I get up for work.

And if he shows any signs of growing up a dickhead teenager, i'll hit him with a hammer too

Obviously I won't, but I plan on doing my job well enough so that isn't required!

 

See, the chance of the whole thing is just.. Eugh, no. I like knowing. Planning. Predictability. Kids are, as far as I can tell, the antithesis to that. There's a lot that goes into my distaste for kids, but that inability to tick off on a checklist of things I might want out of a miniature human is untouchable at the tip-top of the list.

 

I get where you are coming from here, I've never been even the slightest bit broody, have no kids and have never wanted any. However, the wife's grandchildren all seemed to like me when they were kids and I used to like them but, we could send them home when we were finished with them!

 

Not having kids has nothing to do with it. I'm always around kids. I would be, my cousins have lots of them and so do my friends.

There seems to be some pretty serious misunderstanding the situation. When a kid says "I want" over and over they are not in distress. They are using their situation to get what they want. I know, I did it myself plenty of times.

I'm not quite sure why the modern world seem to think there's no such a thing as bad behaviour. Ironically the one little girl who was there because she was hurt was happily walking around the room with a huge smile on her face making everyone smile.

So yeah I was having a moan. That's what this thread is generally for. At 45 years old I have plenty of experience of being around kids. I chose not to have any because I didn't want them, that doesn't mean I don't understand them nor does it mean I know nothing. I chose not to have them because I educated myself and decided it wasn't a good idea. Plus of course I was one myself.

 

Wait until the sleep regressions that happen soon. Just when you think you've got it nailed, bam, they wake up constantly in the middle of the night.

 

House broken into, all the draws and cupboards upstairs gone through and tipped everywhere, maybe 1 ring gone but the tidy up is still on going.

I had tablets and phones on my desk in the living room, litterally a few steps from the stairs.......
Pointless effort

 

Keith Flint is dead, apparently having committed suicide.

Still their most iconic track IMO. RIP Keith, another legend gone

 

Ugh, that's a horrible thing to experience. You have my sympathy. Presume they were after jewellery then? At least not much was taken, but knowing that someone else was in your house going through your stuff is really unpleasant.

 

Sorry to hear that man. Been through it myself a few times, and it's not a nice feeling

 

Calmer than I expected but hasn't helped my paranoia, got in through the back door easier than I liked......chest freezer is blocking it now until we sort out a new one...

 

This.

And you guys discussing kids above. Not even going to chip in even though I feel like I should say my lines and see where that leads us. But it seems tiring already just thinking about it.

//Edit: also, my phone changing words after I already typed the next one. Thanks, gboard, I specifically picked that word. Please don't change it to something unrelated in 10 seconds, kkthxbye?! Case in point, I just had to go over this paragraph and change five or six words which were correct and shown as I wanted them only to get changed after I already finished the sentence.