Other What's ruining your life right now?

Yeah cargo/loose/utility. Anything else is a nope. Need to see if I can get into some Levi twisted, they may work.

 

Tsohost can **** off... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way off...

Their email hosting has been ****ed and unusable for nearly a month now and all i get out of them is - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
...the web hosting isn't much better at this point.

Trying to find somewhere else that ticks the boxes and isn't stupid money a month...

 

On Twitter, @Gareth Halfacree says he has gone to Cloud Above following similar problems, like many others. https://cloudabove.com

 

Summat must've gone astray with my last RMA submission... re-submitted & actually got confirmation from AMD this time.

 

Had to transfer more money to the missus to cover her car payment... Now up to £275 for the month, which leaves me (therefor, us) with £80 for the rest of the month - And she's still expecting us to go to the Edinburgh Fringe festival this weekend for a week.

Okay, get planting those money trees you're obviously hiding...

Honestly, a crack habit would have been more financially sustainable.

 

Cold, windy & noisy... due to windows being replaced in the whole flat as part of our blocks' "post-Grenfell" cladding replacement...

 

Dude, I only say this because of my own experience but be careful here, I absorbed so much of the expenses and debts in my previous relationship from 5 years ago, I will finally be paid off this December.
Money issues affected my mental health so badly, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I won't pretend I know you're relationship dynamics but you may need to draw a line on inappropriate expenses.

All said with care, good luck

 

Oh there's no two ways about it, she's just about the most financially irresponsible person I've ever met (excluding her dad, which I guess is where she gets it from) - part of the issue is that she spent most of her life in a uni setting (with 2 gap years thrown in), so a majority of the money she had wasn't earned, it was through student funding, grants or her parents bailing her out (then me) - the other issue, and the one that's led to most of our money problems now, was her having a really rough pregnancy and not working for pretty much the entirety of it (I can't blame her for that, obviously).

She's slowly learning the value of money (through the good old fashion "hard way"), and she is about to go back to work to finally earn her own again, but it's taken a toll on our plans and put us back a couple of years.

I have a rough "tab" on all the money I have sent her, it's at about £5600 over the past 2 and a bit years. How much of that will I get back? Who knows, but I have made it clear that a significant portion of her salary in the months leading up to Christmas is coming my way to cover the short-term damage she has done to my bank account.

 

I'd suggest you guide her through having two bank accounts. Work out what her direct debits are etc and put those on one account, with a £100 no-fee overdraft or something.

Then have a separate, spends account, with no overdraft.

Make it clear that she pays £x on pay day into the direct debit account, £y to you, and £z remaining in the spends account are hers to spend on whatever. Once it's gone, it's gone.

 

This is how I managed my own debts and how we manage out household now, we split all bills equally but tend to spend on each other at our own will but no obligations, if she wants me to go to a concert I'm not too bothered about she has to buy both tickets etc

 

That's how we will most likely approach it in the coming months, but as I say, the last time she earned an actual salary (she gets money every now and then from dance teaching, but it usually just about covers her bills for that period) was January 2018 - since then I have paid 100% of the household bills, anything between 20 and 100% of her monthly bills, my own commitments, all the birthday/Christmas/wedding/anniversary gifts and anything to do with baby... Well, me and my squad of credit cards.

I've made it fairly clear that she isn't getting any illusions of going on a spending spree when her first paycheck comes in - she can finally realise the situation i've been in for the past 20 months or so (earning money but seeing nothing from it). I fully expect there to be grumblings about it, probably tears and full-on tantrums too, but the quicker we catch up with ourselves and and the more she contributes to that cause, the quicker she can enjoy some to herself.

 

You don't try to consider "your" money (or at least part of it) as 'ours' instead of all mine/yours?
So for bills etc, it's just 'our' money, from a joint account or something, and then each having their own personal account for genuinely personal things.

Only recently gone to that system for myself but it seems to be working (with me working and my fiancé at uni so I'm putting more money into the joint than her)

 

Ain't I a lucky sod in that sense. Me and my wife are both relatively frugal, perhaps her more so than me. We occasionally likes to indulge but always with an eye on the ball.

Being without a job made me feel bad about indulging myself, but fortunately that should be over soon.

I'll finally be able to pay back the in-laws for the money they lent towards the car I crashed (and somehow compensate wife as she was the only one working and with money).

 

IIRC, the old saying goes "What's yours is hers. What's hers she keeps."

 

"What's yours is mine; what's mine's my own...!"

 

I mean, in fairness I had a joint account setup with the ex this way, and all my and her bills were on the joint account, and we had one each. But money was still managed horribly in that relationship *shrug*.

Still, it works for me this way at least!

 

Had to sell my pc stuff for bills. Feelsbadman.jpg.