Hi y'all, So me and a friend are staying in the same student house as last year, because it's so great. We got a couple of girls to take the spare rooms via a university messaging board. I had a small car accident and had to go back to the parents house last week so I couldn't be there when they moved in, and my other friend/housemate also had to be back at home. I've come into the house today to find that one of these girls, has emptied every cupboard in the kitchen, put EVERYTHING, literally EVERYTHING (food, pots and pans, condiments etc etc) in bin bags, and deposited them in my friends room. Luckily my door was locked. This includes several very very pricey bottles of wine which cannot under any circumstances be moved about willy nilly, and last of all left standing upright, which they now are. She has sprawled her things all round the house, including the bathroom downstairs, this ranges from her own pots and pans to books and god knows what else. We had a couple of cupboards in the kitchen with glasses in one and plates in the other, this has all been moved to another cupboard and this girl has moved into the glasses cupboard, the smallest cupboard in the kitchen, even though the 3 biggest cupboards were free, clean and empty! At the same time she's moved into about 3 shelves on the fridge, even though it's one per housemate. She's put no smoking stickers up all over the house even though none of us smoke, decided to lift up and roll up the rug that's on the living room floor and stuff it behind a sofa, and so on and so on. Now while it appears nothing has been binned, this all seems very very VERY ****ed up to me. What the hell do I do? I'm only here till about 4pm today and these girls are working on a placement as far as I understand so I won't see either of them. My landlady isn't picking up her phone at the minute although I'm sure she will, but if she had heard something she would have called me as we are on really friendly terms. The last thing I want this year is constant squabbling in the house, I had it in my first and second year, but not my third and it was so good. what's the best way to approach this without invoking arguement? thanks in advance
Sod it. Move it back as you need it, being as fair as you can, and leave a note. I had a room mate at Uni who was really messy in second year, mainly because he was always out at his girlfriends when he should have been chilling with me. When his washing up started to pile up it was decided just to move it all outside his doorway to give him a hint. You remember that, Bauul? Of course, in third year the same thing happened with these two girls. They left a note on some of my mates stuff (one plate) and then the next day had tons of their own stuff everywhere, so we moved the note onto their stuff. That was the start of a very, very long feud which split the flat into two groups. Those who wanted to come and be friends with me and play on my Xbox, and those people who were called Helen and were an absolute bitch.
Wait til you see her and ask her in passing? Short of that I can't think of anything that'd not create an ongoing conflict.
Move everything back to how it should be, and keep it 100% fair. In these circumstances i wouldn't show any weakness as she will just use it to her advantage. As for the wine, she breaks it/ruins it, she buys it.
mmm thanks for the responses guys. I suppose the best thing is to poigniantly (not sure how to spell that) move everything back to normal. the most bizzare thing is this house was arranged in such a way that it was at it's best already, it was a far cry better than any other student house, and if anything felt more like a normal home. the wine is a difficult situation, it's not due to be opened till about 2015 or so, and I certainly wouldn't want to open it anticipating it's duff when it may not be, all pot luck. all I can do is tell her and see what she says. the worst thing about this is she phoned neither me or my friend to ask whether it was okay to move stuff around, but i guess she wasn't thinking about anyone else while she did this. the most annoying thing is sorting all through it, i am so so so busy as the moment and this will take a good day to sort out which i don't have! well thanks for the advice guys
Deffinitely have a word, I mean it could easily be that her parents moved her in and went all mental about what they see as the state of the house, and had her move stuff about (ever seen out-of-place parents on moving in day?) I'm sure there has to be some normal explanation, either way its best to sort it out now, if its not going to work it needs to be dealt with straight away, its not worth the hassle of trying to work through it, if from the outset there are obvious problems
you have expensive bottles of wine in astudent house? are you nutz?! that stuff will get bolted down in a moment with total disregard to how quaffable it is! i suggest you bring it up casually, with "so hey did you move a load of stuff?" and then just explain your thoughts whilst being polite. maybe set up some ground rules of no touching other peoples property. that's a pretty fundamental thing personally i wouldn't have moved in with girls. living with a bunch of lads is so much more laid back. the swearing is ferocious
That crossed my mind too, but some of it seems a little weird for OCD. I mean, had she just moved everything, sure, but she moved a lot of things and (Unless I read incorrectly) replaced it with her own stuff. Also pretty sure she'd have mentioned it before hand, unless she's also a bit crazy.
Move or formally complain and get her booted. The lass needs therapy. You don't go round moving other people's stuff.
Interesting you say, damn right rude I say. You need to bring it up in conversation, trying not to be too confrontational as this may be a long term relationship. Try and make a joke of it, but you do need to establish some ground rules as you are all sharing the house together. I hope you sort it out because you don't want an atmosphere in your own home.
First thing I would do is ask your flat mate what he thinks about it. If he agrees its wrong talk to the girl together and just ask nicely and lay down the laws of the house, you are the men after all. If she still does it, throw the wine in her face!
Or plain batshit crazy. Is there nothing in the tenancy agreement that rules against this sort of behaviour?
Most importantly: Keep this thread updated! Many, MANY, very entertaining 'crazy roommate' stories have started off with worse beginnings than this one. I for one want to know the dirty details
Whatever you do, TALK TO HER FIRST! Don't just do things because you're in the right, she won't see it that way and it'll ruin whatever possible friendship you have in the future. Be polite, but firm, and don't surprise her with just shifting all her stuff around without telling her. I know she did it to you, so you know how pissy it makes people, but she could take it ten times worse, regardless of how in the wrong she is. Case in point, as Joe pointed out earlier: 2nd year at Uni, my girlfriend is having a tough time with a flat she hates and I spend most of my time with her. I had a bit of a habit of leaving dirty dishes around, and I freely admit I wasn't being a good flatmate (sorry Joe). As a way of hammering the point home, my disgruntled flatmates dumped all the dirty dishes out side my room. Certainly got the point across. But you know how it made me feel when I discovered it? Apologetic? Humbled? Nope. Seriously pissy. And I LIKED my flatmates! It's irrational, pointless, and I knew I was in the wrong, but there's nothing more spontaneously bloodboiling than someone doing something drastic like moving your stuff without talking to you about it first. I still feel guilty about it now, and I calmed down pretty quick and didn't do it again, but don't be under any illusions, drastic action won't make her see the light, it'll just piss off her hugely and it'll make your life hell, so be bloody careful, and TALK TO HER FIRST!!!
How about interviewing potential renters next time to see if they're cleanfreaks? Or put it all back, tell her it's generally considered polite to ask and discuss these kinds of things. Or tell her to put it all back, and gtfo :\
Oh or find something slightly wrong with her fridge hygiene (raw meat above cooked meat, for example), and warn her that if such blatant lack of food safety is observed again, she will be asked to leave.
I'd just move everything that is not hers back how it was personally. I find people get the hint then that it's not theirs to mess with!
LOL! Best approach yet! I never went to Uni but havin' shared an apartment with one the scuttiest lads ever my approach was lay it out thick and hard... If they don't like it they can lump it and leave! Although I wish you all the luck in the world, 'cos I know it can be a right kick in the bojangles if things go down the pan...
