I'm going to beat you until you're a Dungeons & Dragons statistic!! Rar, are you scared? http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php?
Rampaging out of the mountains, swinging a mighty sword, cometh Acrimonious! And he gives a spectacular howl: "I'm going to smash you with such disregard for common sense, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!" (apparently)
Zang! Who is that, striding on the plains! It is Stew, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! He screams gutterally: "By Odin's mighty spear, I pillage until my loins find satisfaction!!" Scary Bloke!
I actually quite like this one..... Skulking over the fields, wielding a bladed baseball bat, cometh Craigey1! And he gives an ominous scream: "I'm going to contort you into a fine spicy powder, and dip you in uranium!" or For my actual name Lo! Who is that, prowling out of the tarmac! It is Craig, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! He grunts thunderously: "Blood and souls for my dark lord! I am on a crash course with bloody destiny!!!"
Prowling on the hotel lobby, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Penski! And he gives a low cry: "I'm seriously going to contort you so hard, you will see ultraviolet!" :/ *n [edit: Yea, verily: Who is that, prowling amidst the tundra! It is Nicky, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! He howls thunderously: "I'm going to strike a match on your crotch, and set you ablaze!!" apparently this is hilarious?]
Zang! Who is that, sprinting amidst the mini-mall parking lot! It is SuperFly, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with an ominous scream, his voice cometh: "I'm going to f*** you faster than the speed of sound, and grin like a ****ing maniac!!" I didn't know i had it in me
how about AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAcough cough aaaaaaaa gasp ehem.
Skulking out of the terrain, attacking with a mighty sword, cometh Kermet! And he gives a booming grunt: "I'm going to flog you like a wrecking ball, and sever every head in sight!!!"
Stalking on the hotel lobby, brandishing a bladed baseball bat, cometh Shogun! And he gives a gutteral grunt: "I'm going to pulverize you in such an unsafe manner, your screams will shatter lightbulbs world-wide!!!"
Ares, God of War, be praised! I destroy all in my path with God on my side!" Prowling on the mini-mall parking lot, wielding a piece of chainlink fence, cometh MDK! And he gives a low scream
Zang! Who is that, sprinting over the desert! It is [DE]FreD_S, hands clutching a studded crowbar! He roars mightily: "For the love of carnage and discord, man, that's some good coffee!!" I like that ... it's so ... wacko ... I like it. Cheers [DE]FreD_S