Motors Get ready for a whole raft of new F1 Driver Excuses...

You've heard it before - They've just suffered a humiliating exit from a race, and Louise or Ted manages to stick a microphone in their face to ask them why they had to pull out:

'I lost hydraulic pressure'
'I had a box full of neutrals'
'I had a cracked exhaust'
'I could only use 7th gear'
'My engine let go' etc, etc.

Well, according to a report over at ITV-F1, there will be some new excuses added to the driver handbook for next year. The article is about the fact Bridgestone has been selected as the single tyre supplier for F1 for the next three years. However, the article then goes on to state:

http://www.itv-f1.com/News_Article.aspx?PO_ID=36548



You can see it now:

Louise - 'Jense, why did you have to pull out of the race'
Button - 'Well Lou, unfortunately WGA declared that my ecu wasn't legal and shut down the the engine'

and:

Ted - 'Jacques, bad luck - what happened'
JV - 'I dunno - my steering wheel display froze, turned blue and displayed a whole load of numbers'

or even:

Louise - 'Juan Pablo, what do you think the problem was?'
JPM - 'We're still going over the error logs, but we think it could be a driver issue'

I'm sure you lot can come up with some more excuses. Have at it!

 

Driver: *clicks the overtake button*
clippy: 'Hi, it looks like you are......'
wall: *crunch*

pitcrew: 'he's stalled, starter!'
car: 'your ECU has been disabled because it could not find the origonal install disk, please insert it now'

i wonder, will the pit girls now become Windows-Driver Models?

 

Engineer: Well we installed the driver into the cockpit like the manual said. But the ECU said we had to reboot - and we've only got one pair of boots for the driver...

 

haha

 

"do you want to brake"
-"yes"
"are you sure?"
BAM!!!

 

Don't forget MSN Messenger on the radios:

"&£$( ! I've lost... *£&"£"
"Do you wish to participate in the customer improvement program?"
"Not now dammit!"

 

Thanks! Now i get to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning coffee out of my keyboard!

 

System engine failure, please replace the engine and press any button to resume.

New engine in Friday practice every other race.... "Welcome to Microsoft MES - it appears this is the first time you have started this engine - would you; a) like to run an engine test; b) like a tour of the track; c) help and advice on how to drive; or c) start the engine and wait for all system resources to start up?"

"This engine is in need of defragmentation. Defragment now? (Note: Running Engine defragmentation will slow the engine down during the process)"

"Microsoft MES has gone into low power stand-by. To resume please press all 19 buttons on the steering wheel, press brake - throttle - brake - brake - throttle and then turn left. The system will take 4 laps to power back up. Note: Do not do this whilst driving!!"