Sorry for your loss, I only just recently joined but I have been lurking here for a long time before, my condolences.
It probably isn't enough, but it's all we can do. The words doesn't matter anyway. It's the thought that counts.
I'll add this. My Nan died of cancer nearly two years ago, and she wasn't that old at all. But the weird thing was that as she had it for many years, when she did finally pass away, the majority of us were not shocked at all (of course Uncles/Aunties/Parents were in shock). Luckily we spent the week up to see her and in that week she did die, which was quite strange as the day before she died, she saw the whole family in one day, and that never happened for many years, something to think about. Again, sorry about the news.
Even with time to prepare it still hits you very hard. For me there were four years and when it finally happened it hit like a ton of bricks. Tim, I don't know how your taking all of this but it does get better after a while. Do what you need to do for now and be careful. I ended up drinking, not all the time or alone but when I didn't have anything going on I would get plastered and all you really end up with is a hangover and still feeling shi**y. I did whatever i could to push it out of my mind, I worked 50 hour weeks and had a full course load at school or anything to keep busy and distracted, this was before and after it happened. That didn't work either. Good luck getting through this and when friends and family want to help let them. Do what you need to do and don't let it eat you up inside.
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. It's been a tough few weeks for me, but this hasn't come unexpected. As MrWillyWonka said, my wife had terminal cancer (she was diagnosed back in March 2007 and given 6 months with chemotherapy) and despite a valiant and inspirational fight against the terrible disease, it ended up being too much for her. It's undoubtedly very sad what's happened, but I've had a lot of time to prepare for what was essentially the inevitable - thankfully, she gifted me with great mental strength, so I'm coming to terms with it all. In some respects I'm happy, because she's no longer in pain and no longer has the cancer eating her body from inside out. She's free and so is her mind, and at the moment when she died, it felt like there was this incredible release - we weren't just crying because we were sad, but also because we were happy, if you get me. She not only fought for her own life, she fought for many other people's lives during her fight too - she worked with other terminal cancer patients to help them prepare themselves for what was going to happen sooner or later, helping them to ease their mind and relax; death is part of life after all. She also had her own cancer support group in Taiwan (before we got married at Christmas last year), where she organised trips for other cancer sufferers, allowing them to enjoy what life they had left. Additionally, she also inspired me, my family and many of my friends and colleagues, with her courage and strength and helped them to understand the value of life and to learn how to be better people. I know many of you would expect me to say this, I really believe it's true: she was an amazing woman... not only a real fighter, but also an incredibly kind, caring and thoughtful person - she knew how people's minds worked and helped many of us to live life to the fullest. Of course, there's quite a lot of paper shuffling to do so I'm not through yet.... but I am coping fairly well in the circumstances. Take it easy, and thanks again for your support.
