Lol she sounds stupid, theirs clauses in every contract you sign when you start uni, be it your student loans to bank accounts dictating if you leave university you ahve to pay back the monies owed, lickty split. however if you want to bit that natwest are forclosing your account when your still at uni, please do so as i am in that position, *****.
Heh, she expected to learn things in first year ?! :O That's not what first year is for! As for the Patronising, yeah, a large majority of lecturers and researchers are asses to freshers, it gets better as you get further up If she quit education then its the banks prerogative to charge interest, however annoying it is! It isn't fair them doing it immediately after she finished though- how do they expect her to make that money back instantly
Thanks for all the replies. Your tips and advice will definitely be taken to heart, and we'll try to be in touch with NatWest to discuss this - especially the "go into branch, try to make a deal" thingy - and the Citizens' Advice Bureau (just in case). Considered it - then realised we have nothing to sell. She offered to flog her laptop (the only thing we have to sell, really), but that's a big no-no. Mine is a POS booting off an external USB drive, if that fails we're internetless and we do pretty much everything online (including the weekly grocery shop, as we don't have a car). We can miss "the internet"; it's that doing everything offline would take up so much time outside of jobhunting/working (depending on past/future circumstances) etc that it's not worth the £100 we could get for it. We've been talking for months about paying it off... but my job paid (was made redundant three weeks ago) just over minimum wage, which in our living conditions was just enough to live on. She didn't want to go on benefits and I supported her on that, as we share the same views - first you pay into it, then - if needed - you use it, not the other way around (i.e. get benefits now, pay back later). Seeing as the job supported us that was fine. We never considered me getting sacked. As we had no real savings, are behind on the rent, and the last grocery shop had to go on a credit card (yay ) we have a "jobseeker's allowance" appointment in two days. It's a bit more complicated than that. The "interest-free" bit surely played it's part, but the overdraft was half used for living. Her parents supposedly never had any money, so they just had to borrow of her (grocery shopping and such, no luxury things) and majorly guilt-tripped her into it ("we spent 18 years paying for you!"). Now we have learnt they were lying all along... they did have the money but just preferred to try and get it from somewhere else, and now they're separated and just sold their house but they still, apparently, can't pay her back. We've definitely learnt that her parents are - sadly - not to be trusted when it comes to cash. Who the hell lies to their own child to basically rip them off, knowing full well it's coming out of overdraft? Yes, she should've been stronger; yes, I should've put my foot down when she spoke to me about it - but they're her parents. I barely talk to my mother (haven't seen her in 1.5 years) but the few times I do I feel guilt (or something that feels like guilt anyway). If she came up with a sob story, I'd give out any cash I could get my hands on. Family - read above. Jobs - working on it, taking anything we can get. I worked "the doors" (was next to the bar, not at the door) at a chav wedding at a goddamned caravan park yesterday. I also worked in South East London last weekend, and spent the night nearly sh*tting myself out of fear. These are jobs I never even would've considered (because the payout, in my book, doesn't justify the risk. Previously, working in goddamned South East London would have been a big no-no). We're literally applying for anything we feel we can be remotely considered for. But once the application is sent, it's all down to someone else to make a decision. And "someone else" has not been looking kindly on us for the past few weeks. Money only went to her family - as I ranted about above. Bank account We did. All we got was "You make your own choices. You are in this situation because of these choices. You make your own fortune." and other bull-droppings. As for jobs, we indeed cannot be picky... but it seems employers can. Unfortunately, we're also limited to walking/public transport, which rules out some areas to work in; and well... our work experiences aren't that great. I, for example, would not be considered for an office job (as my experience has shown) unless I was really lucky or spoke some language they were looking for; just because the only time I've worked in an office I got sacked after six weeks (I really sucked at it, tbh). However, if I see an office job, I'm applying anyway with a nice covering lettering stating why I think my previous experience is relevant. Employers in this country have done nothing but bullsh*t me, so why shouldn't I do the same? Plus, I can bear another six weeks. What I'm trying to say is that we're willing to take any job that doesn't pose an immediate danger. I've been offered some work (four nights a week) but I'm still thinking about it, as it holds a massive chance of getting hurt - especially as I'm not a fighter (yes yes, wrong job, blabla, millions of punters have told me before, and then found their arses on the pavement. I mean real fighting. Knives, gangs, five cokeheads vs me, etc. The type of fighting that brings real pain and death and is not worth it for £50). None of the overdraft was spent on luxury items or anything - it went on living (food, transportation, etc) or her stupid-ass family. I wouldn't feel so much compassion if she'd spent it on a 70" TV, but unfortunately she didn't (at least we'd have something to sell then ). Well, it's £3,000 - she kind of expected to learn something... I'd be pissed off if I paid £3,000 to be talked down to and get nothing from it. I mean, £3,000 can get me one hell of a night - starts with talking down, ends in flogging and ejaculation - but at least I'd get something (flogging and ejaculation and everything before that) from it. £3,000 for learning nothing is plain stupid. I don't care that it's part of a "bigger plan" (the other years). Not everyone has got mummy and daddy behind them to pay... (of course not, they never had any money and had to demand their daughter for cash!). All in all, I am confident we can sort this out. I did think about doing a runner to another country, but as I'm not a hitman and we would have to work legally there's always a good chance of finding us. Getting jobs is #1 now, then we'll see. Our accommodation is a room in a shared house with eight or so other people, on a shitty housing estate, it doesn't come a lot cheaper than that - no chance of saving money there. Ah well. It's just hitting hard, hence this topic to try to get as much advice/experience/tips/etc as possible. I never envisioned me thinking "at least this is a West European country, where being homeless is almost impossible". To think, that back in my own country, I earned a very good living and had a shitload of disposable income. If I had stayed there, she would've stayed at university, this would not have happened, and we both would've been "better off" (but without eachother... but at the same time, we wouldn't have known what it would've been like to be with eachother. Ergh!) *sigh* Sometimes my brain just goes on and on, and thus do my posts Either way, thanks again for all the replies; like I said we'll definitely act upon the advice given in this topic. If anyone feels compelled to add more, feel free to do so - it's an open forum after all. And if you've read this far, I should probably buy you a drink for the effort. Maybe I can afford it in a few months.
College isn't about being taught, it's about learning. You learn how to learn on your own. You don't pay for that, you pay for the degree in eight semesters worth of installments. Happy B-day, btw. What about you? Do you have a degree, or have you decided against college as well? To be honest, at this point, the best thing to do would be for both of you to go back to school. You don't talk to your parents, and hers seem to be more trouble than anything. Which means... there's not going to be anyone to help you along the way. If you have to help yourselves, it's going to be mightily difficult to do so without at least a college degree. I don't know what training you have, but you mentioned difficulty in finding an office job. Seriously, if things are bad now, what would things be like if you're still with her in 5 years and she's pregnant? In 10 years with two children? Student loans are more forgiving than most, and many colleges will dole out jobs to those that need it. There are "work study" programs which allow you to work to pay of loans or tuition bills. If not, there are still plenty of places to find work. Students need to eat, and food places/dining halls/cafeterias need lots of workers. Even if you/her don't like the idea of college, there's always trade and technical schools.
first year you are just playing catch up with the guys who actually did that for a-level etc... it also should open your horizons to new things which are essential to your degree. I feel as if she has just wasted her time, her family took advantage of her position and are now being dicks.
Hi Khensu, I'm skimming at work so haven't had chance to read all the replies (apologies if its been mentioned already), the best advice I can give you is to make sure that you keep a record of all correspondance, including the names and times of people you have spoken to, as well as demanding any agreements made in writing for all ideas about paying money back. They will try and fob you off long enough to transfer your case to a collection agency if they can. I'm not sure about Natwest, but I know HSBC have their own collection people they use for getting money back
Well, we had the wrong idea then. I wouldn't pay £3,000 for a year of learning how to learn. I know that in the UK everything needs to be paid for, but there are limits. £3,000 for "information"/learning how to learn sh** is just ridiculous. I am poor, and the little money I can spare needs to go to stuff that benefits me now, not in four or five years. Same for her, as my money is her money and vice versa. As for my education, I finished secondary school abroad, so I went to school until the age of 19 (and never got arrested, never fathered a child, etc). I had trouble finding a job in my own country (no experience, eh) until I ended up in the security industry. I turned out to be quite good at it, so I continued it and made good money. I don't give a f*** about degrees. To me, they're a waste of time and money. They used to be special and beneficial, yes; but then the retarded government decided everyone should go to university and now it seems degrees are worthless. I have only met two or so people who are actually in a job which they studied for - both not in the UK, btw. In the UK, it seems call centres or supermarkets are the prime job choice for graduates. And that's not exactly worth £12,000+ in my opinion (or hers for that matter). I don't want a degree. Up until two weeks ago, I made £12 per hour for being shaven and wearing a bow-tie. I don't need a degree. But the current situation is crap, everyone is "downsizing" on costs so we are the first to go, and as there are no contracts not a lot of people are hiring (unless you're a medic and you want to work in Iraq). And to top that off, this area is so full of foreigners that employers have gotten sicken of them, so me being foreign (though geographically pretty much next to the UK) doesn't help either (as much as I hate to pull the "foreigner"-card). We hate children and are very careful when fornicating. With the risk of sounding like I'm trying to sound tough: bring it on, biatches. One thing that money can't buy (bar love, happiness and all that crap) is me. F**king bring it on, we'll see how far past the door they get. Sorry, I just really, really hate banks. Always have, always will
money also can't buy foresight, but I think the point has been driven home that mistakes have been made, the best you can do now is damage limitation. Get on the benefits, swallow your pride, they are there to help you. luckily it's a relatively small amount, you could have it sorted in a few months.
i seriously can't believe you didn't know ONE friend that would lend you £30 when you were totally ****ed. When you've sorted your bank issues out i'd sort that issue out!
Well, I'm not exactly a people person. The internet is where I have most of my "social" contact (yep, I know, I'm sad/weird/whatever). But it takes me a great deal to accept my own "human-ness", let alone that of another; so how the hell am I supposed to make "friends" when I know they (and me, too) constantly lie, deceive and stink of sweat, urine, self-righteousness/opinions and sh**? But, to be frank.... why would I? People suck. I've met several good people, but mostly arseholes. Why should I bother with them? I'm fine on my own, I'm fine with the girlfriend. I really don't need another ring of people around me (except when I'm working, then it's the more the merrier so my chances of being taken to A&E in an ambulance become smaller ). And unfortunately for the girlfriend, the past few months have shown that people have very, very different definitions of "friendship" (you can say it as much as you want, until you experience it it seems like propaganda). Anyway, no, we don't have any friends to loan us cash. We didn't really consider the option, either. We'd be looking at "people we know" for financial help (i.e. loan us cash) when we'd be standing on the street without a home. Prior to that: no. Money's very tight in this country, as wages are disgustingly low and the cost of living is high; so before we bother people with requests for their hard-earned money the situation needs to worsen a lot. We are lucky in that it's a small(ish) amount. I don't want to think about what it would be like if it'd be thousands of pounds. Imagine owing £10,000... sheet! That's a bullet through the head (quite literally) right there. I'm not looking forward to the jobseeker's allowance interview, but at the same time I figure I've been (until I was made redundant) working my arse off for twelve hours a day (well, night) for ten months. There's been several weeks where I worked seven nights, several of such weeks in a row even. I've started to think that maybe I kind of deserve a little help from the government after working hard and paying a lot of tax. Then again, so many people in this country do - what kind of country pays their goddamned factory workers minimum wage? It's ridiculous. If they tried that in the ol' country, there'd soon be a strike to show just how important these "low-level" jobs are to the sheer existence of the western lifestyle. But I digress, and admittedly I am a very whiny immigrant So yeah, pride will be swallowed. The whole situation is just so hard to explain, as it encompasses 1.5 years. The real poop only hit the fan recently, but we've/I've been unknowingly building up to this since moving to England - hindsight is a wonderful thing, unfortunately there are no time machines. Luckily, we've got some calls to make and receive tomorrow, I just hope that for her it's "please come work for us" and for me it's "please do this job/that job or please come for an interview"; rather than "f*** off". I'd love to call the JobCentre to cancel our appointment, or to at least alter it to a single claim rather than both being jobless. Ah, dreams, how fond I've become of them. Ah well, we'll see. We're already down, kicking us now wouldn't be that much extra pain.
Some of those aren't especially good attitudes to have, and are probably half the reason you're in the situation you in. I think there's more to assess than just you're finances if things are going to start improving.
Really, get your arses on the dole NOW! I have NEVER understood people who don't do it when they're out of work and need cash badly, as you do. It's easy, straight forward, and actually doesn't pay badly. It also opens loads of doors to get you a proper job, it's a win win situation. So stop being proud and just do it. On the subject of banks: Natwest have done nothing wrong I'm afraid. The interest-free overdraft was for a Student loan, and as you no longer have a student loan, you no longer get interest-free overdrafts. They were very nice for letting you go on this long without paying anything back, and they're not even asking you for the whole lot, just enough to cover the interest you rightfully owe them. If you can start paying it back, even just a tenner a month, and tell them in person this is what you're going to do, they'll be much happier. They don't mind how long it takes you to pay it off, only that you will do eventually. And for crying out loud both of you get on the dole, you simply can't complain if there is money available to you right now and you don't take it for pride reasons.
I've read the whole thread here and I have to say you're in a modestly mild condition. Having been and still in debt to the tune of £15k with a very low income I know how it feels and how desperate it can be. But as others have said, swallow your pride. Get on the dole. Its shitty yes but it'll also give you some protection when the bank sends out the baliffs, which they are very likely to do if you can't pay. Then you won't even have your £100 laptop. You'll be able to work out a payment plan with the bank and that will satidfy them in the short term. The amount of money you're talking about is nothing worth worrying over to the extent you are. Jobseekers will help with the immediate future and you'll have a lot of help getting a job. Its not all doom and gloom being on the dole. Its tough and unrewarding but you will get some satisfaction of getting work in the end if you have the right attitude. The JC people are great at spotting the bullshitters. You need to work on your people skills a lot. I know that's quite cruel of me to say but you will not get anywhere at all with that attitude towards your fellow human beings. Look at all the people here that have offered you advice and help. They're the "friends that constantly lie, deceive and stink of sweat, urine, self-righteousness/opinions and sh**" As does your girlfriend. She's human too. At the end of the day I hope this has taught you something. All that what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger is relevant.
phone them up, explain the situation. Also University isnt a waste of time, im having to study for the job i want (Product Design) no amount of on the job training can teach you the things you learn in uni. Seriously get your self sorted out and im sure you be back on your feet in no time.
Well, university is what one makes of it. These days too many people are all about the partying and when it comes to studies, they want to be spoonfed. I TAed physics lab when I was an undergrad and had a class of predmed students once. I've never been afraid of a random collective group of 21 years ever before in my life until that point.
All I'm going to say is that a University offers you a degree and a foundation of knowledge - the basics for you to learn from. My first year was a lot of stuff I already knew too, even in topics I hadn't studied before. The whole point is that it gets everyone in the class up to the same speed and encourages them to use the resources of the library and the knowledge of the lecturers to learn for themselves from there. Those skills are important in second and third year. Yes, you can say "Well I pay this money to get taught, not to have to go learn much of it on my own" and so on, but my frank opinion is that if you think that's a valid arguement then University isn't the place for you. You go, you get taught some stuff and you're encouraged to leanr and research the rest using the framework around you. If you only do the bare minimum and just turn up for lectures and seminars then you can expect to only get the bare minimum out of it. As for the money; lose something. You're in a hard place by the sound of it and I say that without assigning blame anywhere. If the situation is as hard as you say it is then you will quite simply have to start losing your internet and looking for a cheaper place to live and selling your sofa and your POS laptop while still working hard at shitty underpaid jobs. There is no easy way out or some cunning legal argument to trump the banks. You have to sacrifice and work hard and that's the only advice you can have because it's the only one that'll work. You're at the bottom of a very steep cliff. Expect to climb out. As for the dole - that can take a long time to sort out. I've waited two months before I got my first payment in the past. Pursue it but don't rely on it.
Sign up to a temping agency and they will be able to get you a job within a week which should pay off the entire sum of the overdraft after a month.
Step 1: Go to tescos/asda/sainsbury's/any or all of the supermarkets Step 2: ask if they've got any jobs going Step 3: Apply Step 4: get job - minimum wage to start, but it soon goes up, and you can work nights/overtime too. Step 5 - PROFIT! There are plenty of jobs out there - you just need to suck up your pride and get on with the matter at hand. I've done plenty of naff jobs before to drag myself out of debt, including Tescos, dog kennals, working in an Ink Factory, and as a call centre zombie. When the debt collectors come a knocking, you can't be choosy with where you work. And don't just sign up with agencies and say "I've tried" either. Agencies are crap - go find a job yourself.
All QFT. I'm sorry Khensu, but you're full of crap. If your girlfriend did not learn anything at Uni, it was because she did not learn, not because she wasn't taught. You pay your £3000,-- for access to resources (including lectures) and for the assessment of your attainments (i.e. the exams), not to be taught. This is not secondary school anymore; this is advanced education. Your'e all grown up now, and supposedly of above average intelligence. No-one is going to spoon-feed you --grow a brain and use it. When I was at Uni, I spent most of my lunch breaks and spare time in the library (this was before the luxury of on-line resources). I paid for a conference (abroad!) out of my student loan. I made sure to get high grades to compete successfully for two student exchange programmes. It wasn't easy and I didn't go out, or visit a pub or cinema for five years. But University is an investment for the future. All this crap about "I want it to benefit me now" and "degrees are worthless" is just cognitive dissonance reduction. Education is an investment in the future. Of course it won't benefit you right now; right now is the time for hard work and sacrifices. But a decent qualification sets you off on a good career path and then is when you start seeing the benefits big time. Meanwhile the only way to get out of debt is to pay it off. The only way to make money is to work. Temping work may not be glamourous but it would indeed pay off the overdraft very quickly. It's not as if your gilrfriend is doing anything else with her time, right? You think you are going to complain your way out of debt? You may think you're tough telling Natwest to "bring it on" but they deal with a lot tougher customers than you: career criminals who make a living out of trying to defraud them, for instance. They have a flottila of attack-lawyers on retainer. The conditions of the overdraft were clear and your girlfriend broke them. Those are the facts, and when she signed on the dotted line she accepted responsibility, and legally that's all that matters. You may think that they can't pluck a bald chicken, but they can pursue you for decades until they get the money back, and meanwhile the debts will mount up. They won't let up or run out of breath --it's all just routine part of the job for them.
