LOL Idiotic things customers/people have said to you

A while ago we had an interesting one at work.

A sweet old lady was having trouble with a certain Microsoft office file, so we asked her to email it to us. After about an hour or so we still hadn't got it, so one of the guys who was in the area popped in with a usb stick and got a copy.

We sorted out her issue and all was good, but then the next day we recieved a letter in the mail from the same sweet old lady. Inside was a 5 1/4" floppy disk which had been folded in half and stapled a few times so it would fit inside a standard envelope.

A few people were still using floppy disks back then, there were even stories about people correcting typing mistakes with liquid paper on their monitors

 

i work in a pizza place and we have coupons for $2 off a certain type of pizza. a lady calls and orders 2 of these pizzas, but only has one coupon.

Customer:"can i use this coupon for both pizzas?"
Me:"do you have 2 coupons?"
Customer:"No, I only have one"
Me:"...................no"
Customer:"thats not fair!"

also, customers telling people "I know the owners, you better hope you have a job tomorrow!!" when attempting to scam one of the managers doesn't work. This particular manager had worked there for 6 years...

or
Customer:"you're late, i've been waiting for over an hour for my pizza"
Me:"it says here on the receipt the time of order was 6:08... its 6:34 right now. I beat our 30 to 40 minute promise by 4 minutes."

 

I had a run in with a customer at the begining of the week.

I supervise a tech support line/consumer affairs line for a large highstreet electronic company, they are Japanese make tv's, dvd's etc etc.

Had a call escalated to me as the customer wasnt happy with what my adviser was telling them.

They had a pvr freeview box which had gone up the creak, they didnt really understand the sales of goods act or the fact they had 12 months parts and labor warranty with the retailer should the box go wrong, and there main complaint seemed to be with the retail outlet.

I had been nice and polite throughout the call, and at the end of the call I wished the customer a good evening. To which she replied, "well i was going to but what can I do now the freeview box wont work" to which i simply replied, "I dont know, read a book, old fashioned fun!"

oops.

"You should be very careful what you say Matt, how do you know I'm not blind?"

to which I replied,

"Customer X, blind people can still read, they read brail - and our pvr boxes also do not support audio commentary, So i can only assume that if you are blind, as well as not reading books you do not get the best viewing experience from your TV"

Granted probably one of my worst displays of customer service. And I wasnt trying to be in any way disrespectful towards blind peoples or partially sighted people (i myself am partially sighted) but it was the end of a long long day, she had been chewing my ear off for 15 minutes.

 

Sounds more like a joke...

 

I use it and it earns me strange looks inthe company every time (as germans have their own phonetic alphabet made out of first names)

Well, truth be told, that's what many stores have an extra reduced corner for. People come to expect it.

Always worth a try though

 

While I was working at the greek version of currys, there are always people buying a laptop, and because the first instructions to chose your OS language are in english all the locals end up selecting any old language and bring it back and the boss makes those with any tech knowledge to factory reset their laptop. Gah.

 

"Hi Kingred, you know that thinger you said you were going to get me a quote for, well i want 15'000 of them even though i dont know what it is yet, how its going to work oh and i need them in 2 weeks"

 

I'm loving all these stories, making my day ^.^

 

i work in a store where we sell earphones and i had this bloke come up to the till with a pair. he asked me if they were the most basic earphones we had and i replied yes with them being the cheapest pair we have at £6, so he pays and leaves.

about 10mins later he comes back in and says 'these earphones dont work with my blackberry, i want my money back'
me - 'whats wrong with the earphones when they're in your blackberry?'
customer - 'when i call someone i can hear them but they cant hear me when im using them'
me - 'thats because they dont have a microphone on them'
customer - 'all earphones have microphones on them!'
me - 'not all of them do sir, only the more expensive ones. you did ask if it was our most basic pair.'
customer - 'well i still want my money back'

its company policy that we dont do refunds/exchanges on opened earphones if they're not faulty for 'health and hygiene' reasons (basically we cant sell them again). i explained this to the gentleman and he then decided to read the company returns policy to me that was on the wall just behind me.

customer - (after reading all the corpo returns BS)' see nowhere there does it say you dont do refunds'
me - 'yes sir, i know, but also nowhere on there does it say we do refunds'

after a 15min heated discussion and my manager hiding in the office because he couldnt be bothered to help, the gentleman finally gave up his argument and decided our returns information was confusing and started to complain to me about it.

customer - 'it mentions previously exchanged or multiple retuned items?'
me - 'yes it does sir but that bit is not relevant to you at the moment, you need to be looking at the line above that says we will EXCHANGE any items that are faulty or purchased in error providing they are sealed in the original packaging'
customer - 'thats rubbish and misleading i want your name and im taking you to trading standards'
me - (getting rather p*ssed off) 'sir i have nothing to do with the writing of the returns policy or the production of that sign, im mearly told to stand here and enforce it'
customer - 'well i'll take it up with your head office'
me - 'ok sir the customer service line is on the back of your receipt'
customer - 'write on my receipt the time and your name now!'

i wrote my first name down knowing there's two people with the same name as me that work in my store and the time it was.

customer - 'write down the time it was 10 mins ago as i've been forced to stand here and talk to you for that long'
me - 'sir thats not going to make a difference, and you haven't been forced to talk to me you could have walked away whenever you wanted' (unlike me, who would have to stand and listen for as long as the p***k was in the store)
customer - 'i dont care know do as i tell you!'

so i changed the time on the receipt while he proceeded to make a film on his phone of the returns policy and me writing the time on his receipt. he then finally decided to leave, thankfully.

 

FTFY

 

I just had a guy come in for a webcam.

"I'd like a cheap and cheerful webcam"
"Ok, cheapest we have is...£14.25" I grab one from the display and hand it to him.
"So what's special about it?"
"Nothing Sir, it's a basic webcam."
"Hmmmm....what's the next one up?"
"This one Sir. £15.50"
"And what's special about this one?"
"Nothing Sir, it's a basic webcam" Like you asked for for God's sake.

He eventually bought one after I told him the resolution.


Had a guy try to bring back a Microsoft keyboard and mouse set, wireless.
Claimed they wouldn't let him use the arrow keys. So I plugged it into one of our display machines and zipped about using the arrow keys.
"It seems to be working Sir, is there a particular point or program where it doesn't work?"
"When it's turning on, I can't move down to Windows 7, I'm stuck with XP."
So I explain that to the best of my knowledge, wireless ones don't function on boot like that. (I based this on the rest of the wireless we have not functioning on boot either)
"Well are you going to swap it then?"
"No Sir, it isn't faulty and it's been used for just under a month so I can't swap it."
"That's rubbish, you've got to swap it. It's faulty!"
"It isn't faulty Sir, I just tested it and it is working fine."
"But it doesn't work on boot"
"It won't Sir, it's wireless"
"Well I'll take a different one instead then"
"I'm not swapping it Sir as it isn't faulty."
"Well I'm writing to Microsoft, this isn't good enough"
"That's fine Sir"

He never came back and we never did hear anything from Microsoft lol

 

I have read through your amusing tale and personally think for six quid you could have just exchanged them instead of being a sanctimonious *****, then reflected your poor sales abilities at your own leisure.
Did you ask the customer .. what are these basic headphones to be used for sir? Then advise him accordingly that he may well require a microphone on his most basic headphones. No you just couldn’t be bothered in actually doing your job as a sales advisor.
The chap may have been a painful person and probably a little aggressive but you reap what you sow if you did your job properly, you wouldn’t have created that situation for yourself, and you may have got a more expensive pair of headphones sold.

I'll leave the soap box, should you wish to share another amusing tale

 

I wish I could remember the amusing customers I encountered working in CS for a certain insurance company... But I've completely blotted out their idiocy!

 

WRONG, my friend. It's not his job to ask , when someones buying a pair of headphones; 'DO YOU NEED 3.5MM JACK OR 1.4 INCH JACK?'. Nor is it his job to lose £6 because the customer didn't understand the term 'hands free' and said 'earphones', especially when the guy said, your cheapest pair of earphones please.

 

Sales Advisor ... The job title is a clue "friend"

 

Ok guys, calm down, no need to start attacking each other

 

lol.. just a opinion not an attack

 

Just making sure lol

Just had a guy come in wanting to know which 775 boards fit his processor.....his Athlon 64 processor. Enough said really lol

 

did he also need it with a microphone? lol

 

Damn, I never asked He's gonna come back now and shout at me lol