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Married? At what age?

Discussion in 'General' started by vetlel, 8 Feb 2005.

  1. Hwulex

    Hwulex Minimodder

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    23 years old at time of writing, and have been with my better half for coming up to 6 years. Talk of marriage some time in the next couple of years with kids to follow. Can't wait to be a married man and start a family. Plus I get to ruin her signature with my surname! :D


    Oh, and I disagree with the (macho|chauvinist) view of weddings being a bird thing. I'm very much looking forward to my wedding day. Get to wear a top suit and have people bring me things, as well as embarass me terribly. :idea:


    (My surname's really awkward to sign - really).
     
  2. SteveyG

    SteveyG Electromodder

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    20 at the moment and engaged, but we've decided we won't actually get married until we've finished uni, bought a house and got some money saved up. So maybe when we're 27-28??
     
  3. MNC Fear

    MNC Fear Banned

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    Not Married yet at 32. Have two kids both to women who are Nutters. Happily living with my 24 year old girlfriend for 2 Years who appears to have missed out on the Nutter Gene... Only time will tell...
     
  4. Constructacon

    Constructacon Constructing since 1978

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    I'm currently 26 and my partner of 4 years left me and moved out about 3 months ago now. Before long I'll start looking for a new woman who I can spend the rest of my life with.

    I'm a strong believer of marriage and family. I also think it's something that shouldn't be left for too late in life.

    I work on the 16-18 rule. Think back to how unruly you were when you were in your late 'teens (or how you are now for the younger players). Think about when you want to have kids then add 18 years to that. eg kids at 40 means you will be almost 60 when your kids are turning 18. Think how difficult it will be to relate to them at that age. That's why I'm hoping to start my family in the next few years.

    Kudos to all of you who have take the plunge already.
     
  5. CySlyde

    CySlyde What's a Dremel?

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    25 now

    married @ 22 (she was 21) divorced 23 (three short months) and lost almost everything that you could put a value on, but gained my love of life back. we had been togeather for almost 4 years total when i left.

    with 1 right now.. met her at a bar shortly after the seperation have been inseperable since (but still have our own places)... might happen sometime in the next 2-3 yrs, but don't tell her that.

    I agree with fizz, I loved planning the wedding, had full bar with free drinks to 300 of my closest friends and family.... even looking back now I wouldn't take any of that back for any reason.
     
  6. vetlel

    vetlel What's a Dremel?

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    Ehhhh??? Am I missing something here? Are we back in the 50's again?
    Does the church come by every now and then, to see if there are any children on the way?
     
  7. Derelict

    Derelict What's a Dremel?

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    Right there with ya, buddy, though not as old ;)
     
  8. :: kna ::

    :: kna :: POCOYO! Moderator

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    Marriage is 'pointless' or 'proof' of commitment, discuss:

    Firstly, it really depends how you see marriage in the great 'scheme' of things, correct it is neither legally required or necessary in order to commit to a loving relationship. However, conversely it also does have a traditional, social and psychological 'point' and the same argument can be applied to it being proof of commitment.

    You do not need to get married to prove your love for someone, however if you fully intend *never* to leave them, then you have no reason not to perform the traditional act of marriage simply as a sign to everyone you wish to be husband and wife. I did not marry Vic so that she knows I will never leave her... I married Vic because I wanted to show her, myself and people around me that I've entered into a commited relationship. It is the next stage and this is no different an act than saying 'we're together', referring to yourself as 'a couple', meeting parents, entering into sexual monogamy, moving in together and buying pot plants at Gardiner Haskins. You're not 'stamping your individuality' by not getting married, you're simply saving some cash which you can spend on Tea Lights and bigger packs of Toilet Rolls.

    People ask why WOULD you get married, and I would ask why WOULDN'T you if you intend to spend the rest of your life with that person? It's a grossly unfair and arguable statement, but very valid in a pro-marriage standpoint.

    As for pointless, even if you forego the obvious legal benefits to being married (and yes, I know you can apply for rights as an unmarried couple, but marriage bestows those upon you without all that hassle), coupled with the fact that there are thousands of 'pointless acts' people perform every day yet due to society and tradition they do them because they want to... if nothing else, you get to have a big party and go on holiday.

    To Pro-Marriage people, being married is simply the next step of a relationship and moving onto it is as natural as telling someone you love them.
     
  9. greshoff

    greshoff Minimodder

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    33 years when I married
     
  10. vetlel

    vetlel What's a Dremel?

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    Ok discuss:
    -Basicly I agree with your arguements here, just the, for me, horrifying fact to see people get married in their early twenties is beyond me. Do people really know that this is the person for the rest of their lives? Or is it just the whiff of that sex thing that makes their brains go screwy?

    Remarks like this scare me for that matter...

    Imagine what happens when at the age of 23, when the "GO SEX!"- factor has worn of, the kids are dirtying their daipers, work is a hassle just to bring enough money in to get by and "God, I hate her friends!" ?

    I mean, i don't believe a serious commitment like that can be taken by people of that age. Certainly not because they have just come to a point where they are STARTING to find out about live and what to think of it.

    Please understand me, ofcourse there are exceptions here, as with everything.

    - To show your eternal love to a person? Get her name tattooed across your belly... Certainly a lot more permanent then a marriage with the divorce option always present.

    - Yes, I might get married some time. Love my girlfriend dearly, I am fairly convinced she is the one for me for this live. ( Never had that feeling before, which makes me believe that even more.) But i'm afraid our marriage will be one of convinience, if anything. ( We both have different nationalities, living together in a foreign country, her being russian being the real pain here.) So getting the papers sorted through marriage will make travelling together, to visit family for instance, much more relaxed. Other thing is, she will have a lot less trouble opening the bussiness she wants to open.

    Mind, I can say this after "messing about". I had my taste of that sex thing, tried blond, brunette, asian, anorexic, you name it. Just to come to the conclusion that that sex-thing is the same with everyone really. The things takes really make it worthwhile with someone are always to do with their character, period.


    Final note:
    I might be going on about sex al the time, but i really suspect this to be the main issue for getting married as such a young age.

    (Sorry Devenmore, for using you as an example here, but... c'mon, you asked for it :)
     
  11. Constructacon

    Constructacon Constructing since 1978

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    You said so yourself that you have never felt this way about anyone before. You obviously love this person very deeply. The clearing away of the red tape would just be an added bonus for you. You've already stated you have the correct reasons for tying the knot with her.

    I agree with you other comment too. Having travelled around the block a couple of times I know that sex comes in all shapes, sizes and colours. Since my partner moved on I find I don't miss the sex really at all. My friends are trying to set me up with someone just to get laid but I'm not that interested (don't get me wrong - if she wanted to go I'd jump her right good..... repeatedly). I find myself longing for someone who I can share myself with. Someone who I can come home to and be happy (joyful?) just because I'm near them (even when fighting). Someone who compliments my soul and together we just "fit". And none of this has anything to do with the physical act of coupling.

    Many of you will know what I mean.
     
  12. :: vic ::

    :: vic :: Married to the Mod

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    I think it's more to do with people rather than age. You don't know when you're going to meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it could be in your teens/twenties/thirties/forties whatever. The fact is that if it's the right person it doesn't matter.

    I happened to fall in love with Kna when I was 19, we were engaged 6 months later and had been together two years when we got married. Yeah at 21 I was young and I knew that but I had absolutely no doubt that he was the one for me...why wait?

    I think it's more worrying when people have kids really young or in the early days of a relationship. We've been married for nearly 9 years now and are only just expecting baby no.1, (can't wait to meet Moog in May :D )We've had a really long time just the two of us doing what the hell we want with no commitment to anything but each other. Just because you make that commitment to each other it doesn't mean that everything else has to fast forward.

    It wasn't the whiff of sex that made me want to get married...well not just that anyway :D
     
  13. empyrean

    empyrean What's a Dremel?

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    I'm 25, she's just turned 27.

    We've been with each other 4+ years, living together for 1+ year. We used to joke about a civil ceremony, seeing as the license only costs $69 here. Although we're both somewhat of the same mind as Penski about the "necessity" of marriage for our relationship, it's practical for us - gets me covered with her health insurance plan, makes family members happy, seems relatively harmless to me.

    Then, after I "officially" proposed to her and gave her a ring... it started. First her mother. Then friends at work. Bridal magazines mysteriously materializing on our coffee table. That one fellow is great to buy flowers from. Her resolve didn't just buckle, a finely charred dust is all that remains.

    Things have gone from...

    $69 civil ceremony, family members say they don't mind if we elope! Cheap all around and practical.

    $69 civil ceremony, but we could have family members attend. We could do it when my parents visit from overseas!

    Same as above + reception with family.

    Same as above + reception with friends as well.

    Postponed to next year to give more time to arrange reception invitations. Because the list is growing.

    Wouldn't it be nice to have it at her childhood church? Plus decorations, catering, and a DJ at the reception. Dresses don't cost THAT much! And wedding pictures to document it all.
    ---

    Amused, bemused, kind of laughing at the progression of it all... but I'll give her a wedding, because as practical as we both are, she is a romantic at heart... and she tried so hard to stay away from it all until she saw how easily I agreed to things.

    Ok, and I may be a bit of a romantic as well. She brings it out in me.
     
  14. Deviate

    Deviate What's a Dremel?

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    For me, it was like this. I was 21...I had dated a pretty good number of girls (younger and older). I wasn't out to get married...not like I went out searching for a wife. :D However, when I first set eyes on my wife, I knew right then that I was going to marry her. Don't believe in love at first sight? Tough. It happens. It took some convincing for her to realize that she was going to be married to me, but eventually she gave in. :D

    Has everything been perfect since then? No. A big problem I see...even among many of my friends...is when you get married "young" you expect that everything is going to be bliss forever. And when it's not...OMG it's the end of the world let's get divorced (I'm not trying to offend anyone who is divorced and I don't mean to imply that this is the cause of all divorce). Love is work. It may be an emotion at first, but then you have to choose to love the person and work at it. In cultures where marriages are arranged, that's one reason why you see a couple that was arranged staying married for 50 years and being in love the whole time. You just have to make a decision to love.

    So yes...I knew when I first saw her that she was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We have 1 beautiful little girl and hope to have more. And we have no desire for it to be anything other than death do us part. There has to be more in common than just sex. You're not going to agree on everything, but you had better agree on most all of your major beliefs.
     
  15. vetlel

    vetlel What's a Dremel?

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    Yes! but you're not playing fair here! You're talking about a healthy relation...

    Moog? MOOG??? So you picked him a bit-tech nick already? (Him? not sure, what is a moog anyway? j/k!!!)
     
  16. Guest-16

    Guest-16 Guest

    Im glad someone else was wondering this as well.
     
  17. Jumeira_Johnny

    Jumeira_Johnny 16032 - High plains drifter

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    Well put, and a lot of work it is. And you won't agree on a lot of things, but part of being in love is accepting the other as a whole, including the part that refuses to see you point of view. But if you really work at it, the pay off is 1000 fold.
     
  18. fivecheebs

    fivecheebs Dont panic!

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    The moog was from "willow the wisp"

    google image search "willow the wisp" left hand side 3 down .... :D funny pink thing
     
  19. Monkeyboy

    Monkeyboy Minimodder

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    not married yet. will be 28 when i get married this august, and my birthday is four days after the wedding. i'm really looking forward to it. wedding will be small (hopefully... guest list just keeps growing :eeek: ) and tasteful, but the reception will be fun. all you can eat BBQ :brrr: .
    my fiance is the one who really wants the whole ceremony and stuff; i told her whatever makes her happy, as i would be just as happy getting married to her by an elvis impersonator in vegas....
     
  20. :: kna ::

    :: kna :: POCOYO! Moderator

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    [​IMG]

    We always thought it would be a good name for a dog, but we had a baby instead.
     

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