I refuse to enter because you'll be back.. they always come back. Except those that don't. Sent from the Starship Enterprise
Haha, Yeah i understand where your coming from. I think we're both destined to take a good thing and **** it up! You could be right but its not getting me anywhere staying the way i am, just sitting here now all i want to do is vent frustrations Venting was great for the first few months when i felt a little bit tired of work or felt a little down, but now i keep returning like im going to have some miracle cure and im feeling worse and worse as the days go on. Just to make it clear there is certainly no hard feelings in regards to that comment i haven't been drove to this. If anything all i can say is thank you, its been a long time coming if anything, I've never considered B-T as the single catalyst for my venting episodes. But to have other people suggest an alternative route such as counseling, it only opened my eyes to something i had been trying to ignore myself. In everyday life i am just your average guy im not intensely shy or reclusive, I'll be kind and im always willing to give anybody a chance but im a closed book. As far as my emotional side that's kept to myself and if i have to vent its strictly anonymous, it doesn't feel natural at all anymore. When i get close to people it shocks me because they have no idea who i really am, they have no understanding of my feelings because i bottle it up inside and if it comes out its let it out in one big fit of rage. I go day in and day out being reminded of why i feel such a failure in every aspect of my life. I see the most socially handicapped school friends getting married... having kids.. moving on with there life, getting well paid jobs a new car a house going to gigs and festivals and having fun with their friends. What am i doing? questioning why i can't ask a girl out? Why its so unusual a girl is taking interest in me? Why i find it so hard to chill out? Why i can't just enjoy something without picking it apart into small chunks and analyzing it? Why i can't just brush a simple "No" off if it came around? And when i finally finish all of that and more! I psych myself up I brush myself off stand up strong... I realize the whole time I've been doing that she has probably lost interest. And when i turn round to see the friends who should be there having my back and telling me "Dude she likes you just ask her out, whats the worst that could happen?" they're not there because they have no idea whats going on in my head. I feel like im living my life on the internet rather than going outside and enjoying myself, failure should be part of my life but i don't want to be petrified of it anymore. I want to be able to be open with people and not care what people might say behind my back Its time to live my life the way i want and cut off any ties with the way I've been currently leading it (I know that will all probably make no sense to anyone...)
You do what is right for you mate. Nobody else can tell you what that is, it's what makes you happiest. Novel idea: use Bit-tech as it was intended - a hardware/modding forum with a bit of good natured dicking around - then when you need to, shut down your PC and go out to live your life.
im in! these would go awesome in my lian-li PC75 server case!! on a more serious note though, it seems a shame to quit the community for good though? Perhaps just a break while you concentrate on whatever other issues you have going on in life, then coming back when you feel up to it? C
Actually it makes a lot of sense to me. I know where you're coming from mate (or I think I do). Well done on making the decision to change and better yourself...it can take quite a bit of courage. I wish you all the best fella.
^ Listen to him, he went away for a while because he realised he was a Grumpy Sod and came back again reformed.. kinda
I'm in I hope what ever you decide to do works out for you DP, don't forget that there are some really great folk here at Bit-tech should you care to pop by from time to time, I'm sure you'd be welcomed back with open arms.
I'm not in, you will be missed DP - no one here saw your posts as abuse of any threads/forum rules If you want to leave then that's up to you, it's your life, but I want you to know that we will all be here for you whenever you need us We're all family here
I must've missed all the negative posts you're referring to. +1 for just using the forum for what you originally joined for. Re girls....you already have musical ability, I recommend taking up the bass. Bass players get the girls. That's why there are so few good ones, the rest are, er, "busy"...
I'm in. I can't say that I have noticed the behaviour you speak of, but I wish you well in your quest to resolve your issues. Perhaps fresh scenery will help you achieve your goal, but that doesn't mean the departure has to be permanent. Peace! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Dude... I understand. Looking at what is happening to you is the very definition of looking in a mirror. I can't help but take it apart, and forget about the fact that it felt good. Instead I see the negatives. I am 15 years old. I feel angry at the world, confused, and even outcast at times. Something I've noticed is that no matter what you do, a small community very quickly becomes a sort of second family. A few years back, I joined a small, well renowned martial arts studio. Very similairly to bt, it was, and is, composed of very good, honest, and mature people. Within a few months, without my even knowing it, I was already a part of this family. No matter how immature, agictated, or hostile I was, they always forgave. They still do. They put you back in your place when needed, often without you realising it. Other times, they ignore it, and when you need it, they can be some of the most caring folks out there. Bit tech, aside from a few differences due to scale and distance, is very much the same way. They have there ways of sitting you back down, then helping you get over it. They have no problem with you venting here. They understand how frustrating life can be, how ones own mind can screw with itself sometimes. Other times they can be incredibly, incredibly kind. Look at kayin. How people reacted. Hell, look at the words people have said on this very thread! Not many, if any, of us have suggested that you ditch couseling. I myself very strongly oppose doing so. But what we are saying is that even while counseling, one should not ditch such an accepting, helpful, tightly knit community like this. Even if you do leave for a while, come back. Check around. Keep in touch at the very least. Abandoning this... will not help. Honestly, if one should stop coming to a forum they know pretty quick. Being around for so long is a sign that you shouldnt leave, as you have kept going for a reason. I am pretty confident most around here would agree.
Very well said. I joined this forum to get in to modding more but you're all my second family! Please don't leave permanently DP. Take as much as a break as you need to sort out what you feel you need to, but even if you feel you don't want to return, you're always welcome back with open arms.
Its good for me guys When i post in the ruining thread i never achieved anything, i just got up and felt worse like that was the easy fix and it never was 545 times i've done that.. thats 5% of the thread is just from me and what... 12% of all the posts i've made? I've lost all motivation and enthusiasm for life itself i come home completely demotivated to do anything but feel sorry for myself and its completely pointless, im not as strong as i thought i was anymore. I have found it difficult even getting up out of bed somedays, and its gotten so much that i can barely keep grips on my own emotions because im not used to having to face them. What did i do instead? I had no choice but to face them or feel completely suffocated by frustration and im not saying thats always going to be the best solution but so far its making me feel a whole lot better. What i need to do is take a step back and give myself a good slap to wake myself up from these bad habits. I will never say never to potentially returning to B-T but it will only be when i feel my life has more meaning and direction than it currently has.
I'm in, but- as others, I've not seen this grumpy behaviour that you speak of, but, I'm sure you'll be welcomed back with warmth should you revert on your decision. Best of luck finding what you're looking for.
Once again, Mirror, Mirror on the wall... I feel the exact same way. Depression and anxiety do that to you. And its not a wake-up slap that you need, trust me. Forcing yourself to face everything at once will overwhelm you. period. Instead, focus on one thing, or half. Or just listen to the counselor/psychologist/etc. The last thing you need to do is face this alone. maybe right now it makes you feel worse, but have you tried posting while you are in the process of counseling? Not from what you've told us. At least try keeping it going for a month or two into counseling. Your gonna feel worse at first, so expect that. But Don't leave asap. try what I said and then I can take that answer. I say this b/c even though I don't post in that thread, when I posted/ looked at other ones I had the same thing happen. Until I started counseling. Yeah, It varies, but the basic symptoms/ w/e are fairly consistent from what Ive heard from family, friends etc who have or who had it. Just Give it a try, Okay? As one final parting gift?
I figured this thread could use this. DP, you are the ultimate arbiter of what you do and don't need to do, and while we will miss you, I know what you mean. But let me just add a bit of something that you guys don't know, and see if it will be of service. I've got my own psych team, and I'm on multiple meds for depression and anxiety, with the option to go higher but quick. Depression is a sign of an organic issue, not a simple line of bad thinking. I've been through utter hell recently, and old problems decided to resurface (including self-harm and uncontrollable rages. And most people really didn't think I got mad.) I've kept showing up partly as a way to keep some normalcy, and partly so if I go off and my wife doesn't say something someone on here will say "that's very out-of-character" and it might help me notice changes. I've been where you are. I could be there again. But for the grace of God there I be, and all that. If you feel you need to make a clean break, do it with the assistance of a professional, and don't cut all friends out. Also, girls DO dig bassists. Ask me how I know. To thine own self be true, and if this is happy trails, may a cloud of beautiful vaginas find their way to your crotch before journey's end.
