*dons monocle and top hat, then proceeds to puff on his pipe* So my children, you may have come into this thread based on a number of factors, not least of which my fearsome reputation as a man of indomitable floating, and a purveyor of such fine poultry as myself may well indeed ask the question of how to remove hens teeth from the garter belts of not unattractive ladies without being accused of malignant cold sores. Alas! My research into the field has only provided me with hay fever, as the sailors only mowed it this yesterday, and as such the Ferrari was bogged down in philosophical discussion with the local Aston martin, which I have been informed has its eye on my dear porterhouse steak for the addition to its collection of rosary bead based pantaloons, but I digress! We were bogged down in the field and the remote village of Aeir-Idun was calm enough to summon its mechanomancer and help us. Last time this happened they only had their legomancer and duplomancers available, neither of which were much help as small children quickly demolished their works.
Alright then....either I'm missing something, don't know about something or Mr. Bizarre has something in his system he probably shouldn't.
I say old chap. Your tale brings to mind the adventures of a certain Captain Nemo, mayhap you are related to him? I hear he prepares an excellent meal of roasted Mountain goat, plundered from the treasure holds of long lost pirate ships somewhere off the peak of mount Everest. Only found within a mile of the summit at a depth of 20 fathoms, surely the man must have devoted considerable time and energy to the wholesale slaughter of ninjas to have achieved such an incredible feat. Why, the Incas would be livid if they saw how he raped the men and women of their comedy clubs and wine bars with his amorphous alcoholic prosthetic buttock!
I can fix that my good man. Simply apply albatross salve to the afflicted vocabulary and attempt to recite the lords payer backwards at 70 knots, while simultaneously travelling through time at 80 feet per second, in order to not only retrieve the rubiks cube of truth, but also cause the temporal distortion of the lower intestines to regurgitate the contents of your linen drawer into the decking of your gazebo.
Well I think we can establish that when you put "Bizarre" in your username, you had good reason to. Oh and only relix can hold the rubiks cude of truth. If anybody else attempts to, they will lose all control of their body, and crumble into liquid copper sulphate, and explode into the form of a pork pie, with a frilly dress around the outside. Think of all the psyches you could be damaging, as they cannot comprehend, nor process the vocabulary in what you are saying kind sir. I pray you call a stop to your diabolical scheme to reder us all braindead, just so you can take over all of the fishes in the dead sea.
NEVER! My plans shall come to nought if I do not manage to divide by zero the finite amounts of multiplicity there are to be divided in the world, and to be divided by zero they must bee freeze dried in my closet until watery, and then hung outside to dry at a temperature of gas mark 6 or above.
But you must for the sanity of the dog in the kennel. And if you are attempting to find the meaning of life, just by dividing numbers by zero, you are wrong to do so, For I tell you my son, the meaning of life is a zebra crossing in aberdeen, and the numeric calculations involved to work this out are astronomically beyond your comprehension. For your own sake, I ask you to get into a three wheel van, paint it infra-red, with tartan paint and then trek to the mountains of mars, where you will be greeted by the one true relix, who shall bestow you a title suitably fitting you, in the higher levels of his goverment. On this note, I shall retire to my log cabin in antartica, to sleep, contemplate, and to eat a DVD case. I bid you goodnight, and a safe journey.
How could I go back in time to stop something bad from happening if, were I to succeed, I would have never had a reason to go back in time? Could I succeed, thus proving the multi-threaded universe theory, or would I fail in every attempt? If there is no such multi-threaded universe, would I create a time paradox, and if so, what would happen to the space/time continuum?
Could God microwave a burrito so hot, that He couldn't eat it? And on the sixth day the Forum Gods said "Let there be moderators who will govern over all other forum beings and admins who will govern them!" and on the seventh day the Forum Gods rested, and spammers and trolls tainted the Forum of Eden, causing impurity in all future forums.
GuitarBizarre, if we wanted to read the stoned ramblings of a self-obsessed attention junkie, we would have picked up a copy of William Burroughs' Naked Lunch (that one is overrated too). Amen. And lo, the thread was closed.
