Rant Another Bullying Suicide

Lol, that post was sarcasm supermonkey, if you see many of my posts, a few of them have a lot of sarcasm in. For a start I don't think I would have gone to the car, and I would certainly not go down with a bat, I would just call the police for reasons like I wouldn't get done for assault, and there isn't much evidence that the people who I would of hit were actually on the internet, so I would of got screwed. And if they have been looking at illegal things etc, the guy who pays for the internet would get away with it as it's all recorded.

However, after the years of bullying, I stand by standing up for yourself and others, I would say I'm too overly protective to others i.e. family + mates. The guy who punched the bully was right to do so, he didn't join him, it's like saying a Terrorist can be classed as a Soldier who is fighting in Iraq, they do pretty much the same thing, but on different terms etc. Bullying is no different than being assaulted on the streets, if someone came up to you and started to call you names etc, I'm sure anyone, who has a decent mind, would respond verbally or physically if things got out of hand.

About the bully going to another kid, if the guy has smacked the bully, then the guy who stood up for himself should stand up for the other kid, it's a no brainer. The only reason I never fought back was the fact that I didn't have any mates willing to help me against these people, and that the guys who where causing me all the problems could get a group of 150 onto me in a matter of 10-15 minutes at anytime of the day. Someone who did stand up got attacked by 50 people in a park on the way home, she had to go to hospital for a long time, and I didn't like the sound of all that.

 

Great post, you understand the whole bullying situation a lot more than many people.

 

That is absolutely the wrong thing to do, and is only guaranteed to escalate the situation. If someone approaches me on the street and starts yelling at me and calling me names, then I simply walk away. I don't acknowledge that person and I defuse the situation. If this problem persists, I alert the proper authorities and allow them to handle the situation accordingly.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say there. You're suggesting that people fight back and beat up bullies, but then you go on to illustrate that the bully would get 150 of his friends to rough you up after school. What, then, was the point of the physical confrontation?

-monkey

 

Heh, alright you do that.

You answered your own question, I said "The only reason I never fought back".

 

I think bullying is part of life. I was bullied all the way through primary and secondary school but learnt to deal with it. If you can get over it, it only makes you a stronger person. I dont resent the bullies who did it, they were probably bullied themselves by people who were bullied and so on.... Everyone reacts differently though, it just takes a little maturity to rise above it, that and some good friends.

 

It shows you're not weak, bullies only pick the weak to make themselves feel better. Often, they have dodgy friends too, it's a fragile partnership, and if you humiliate one, then I think it's unlikely he'll have friends for much longer.

 

Bullying is about pecking order. Every group has one to a more or lesser extent, whether we're talking wolves, monkeys, dolphins or humans. There are alpha males and females at the top, and put-upon runts at the bottom. The pecking order can change, but the hierarchy is always going to be there. I mean, didn't you see Big Brother?

What are people suggesting? Punch the bully back as hard as you can. Show you're not weak. He'll move on to someone else lower in the pecking order. Or he'll lose his own position in the pecking order, while you go up a position.

But hang on: the bully has mates; he'll get reinforcements and pound you. After all, they are at the top of the pecking order and they have a position to maintain. Your friends won't help --they're too worried about their own position in the pecking order, and don't want to join you at the bottom. Perhaps they even join in with him.

The only way to stop bullying is for nobody to buy into the pecking order. Stopping bullying is a group effort. It is the same thing as caring for the ill and elderly. It is the same thing as being considerate and looking out for each other. It is a sociocultural thing: about not just being a group of animals.

Most successful anti-bullying programmes recognise that and change the whole class/school culture to one of egalitarianism. But that's a bit hard to do when the current educational system is based on competition and the parents, being the alpha adults, actually place their kids higher in the pecking order than their teachers.

 

But conversly, it's a pecking order. they're not his mates, they're just exploiting him for power. Rather, a second in command may take over, but he may not pick on you, you've shown you're not weak and if he tries he could be removed. Everyone is paranoid.

 

While I agree being picked on is normally to do with being weak, in many cases it's to do with how you look, or where you are from.

I was picked on because of my weight, and that my family was wealthier than everyone who was involved. They knew my mates wouldn't throw a punch, even if punched first, so I was an easy target for them, I would say in a 1on1 I could of easily beaten most of the people, but the guy at the top I suppose was actually an amateur boxer, so I was stuffed, lol. At the end of the day, even if a fought back, even if my mates stuck up for one another, the group of guys would of easily gotten over 200 people if needed for us, and if it got that far, I wouldn't of been surprised if a few deaths happened via the fighting (Knives etc).

 

But it doesn't solve the problem, does it? The pecking order persists. Someone else may have a pop at you to become the new alpha of the pack. Or they pick on someone who is not as strong as you.

Is bullying only evil if it is you that's bullied? Well then.

 

You're suggesting kids look out for each other in the playground?

You've never worked with children, have you?

 

I said that they should (i.e. should be encouraged to). Not the same thing. And not as crazy as you think. Spontaneous altruistic behaviour has been observed in two-year olds. At the end of the day, children tend to copy adult models around them.

 

Oh, no, I wasn't saying it'd solve the problem. That'd just solve the problem for yourself.

 

I know here (mabey not the same elsewhere) we're brought up with an Idea of equality. If you don't like someone, you just ignore them, or try to get on with them, you don't pummel them.

In someways, people who are 'bulliable' might benifit from slight bullying by toughening them up for later life, because If it happens at school, and they don't change, it'll happen in later life.

Remember, school only last a few years, then you'll never have to see that person ever again.

 

I see some of the people most weeks around here. Exeter isn't a big place.

(Above Comments) - I never knew that defending yourself was classed as bullying others, now that's funny.

 

I have a sense of equality too, but if someone goes too far then I am only too ready to fight. I used to do it rather a lot.

 

Unlike in the UK if you have bad grades you don't progress and stay behind, in my 5-9 school(in school years, the maximum is 12 (13 in special cases) then you go to the university if you want) from 5 to 6 i had a great class, there was a interesting class everyone called the "shark tank", it was were every bully was shipped, they had extra work and had miserable grades and flunked a lot, they had hard ass teachers that were made of titanium or something.... they were stupidly incredible, in recess there was always at least one member of the staff walking around watching, if someone was found bullying he would be in a world of crap.... anyhow i went to the 7th grade and entered a class filled of jocks and rich idiots (i was your run of the mill very smart kid with lots of knowledge, very geek and above all i was so nice i farted rainbows and sunshine (i tremble when i remember those days)), they psychologically bullyed me and i turned to crap (i kind of have amnesia from that time, but the rage is still inside me, i do remember continuing to be nice and having good grades in everything scientific, and being one of the only person in class to have a negative score in sports because of the rest of the class), i entered a new school in the 10th grade and a new class of "electricians", they were mostly like me and made me smile again, in the 10+ there is very few bullying around here (when i was in school anyway).... if i see some being bullyed i tend to intervene.....

These days i pass people from that class and laugh at their faces (from inside my mind), the ones that made my life hell are now in real hell (they are parasites or have really bad jobs or got worlds bullyed above me for their personality and went gaga), the ones that were "nice" to me are ok with life and i think i am the happiest of them all , and they Taught me something that no one could ever teach me, to be tough, but soft at the same time, like Bruce Lee says: "be like water", i don't let anyone step over me, and if they try they will be in for a surprise....
vengeance is dealt when no one else is looking and you are alone with the person you want revenge, continue to pretend you are defenseless and attack at the last moment when he is off guard, he will be in a world of hurt and his friends wont believe him when he says your a savage beast..... or simply keep on living your life peacefully like i do.... avoid confrontation.... and when people laugh at you ignore them, you are superior to them in every way possible, you will earn more than them and maybe you will outlive them and make things that will insert you into the history books, what about them? well.... they wont get far being the stupid parasites they are..... and some may even start working for you

edit: as for suicide, suicide is not the answer..... it is just a shortcut to death.