Education Cheating, Have you ever?

Lap dance... well... i don't know, kind of a gray area, depends on each individual's tolerances i guess. Personally i draw the line at passionate kiss and/or downright genital contact. A lap dance is more like innocent-ish entertainment. However if my other half was to disagree with this i'd respect her feelings and refuse to let it happen even if it means killing the party.

 

Exactly my thoughts as well.


+Rep for being in sync with my mind

 

Is it more weird when girls want you to take them to strip clubs?? =/

 

How do we feel about being the cheater? As in, you spend some 'adult time' with someone whom is in a relationship. Been there once, not sure how I feel about it.

Not been cheated on yet, nor have I ever cheated on my partner. I would end the relationship before accepting any offers, but haven't felt the need yet.

 

I was in the middle of a failing relationship and it was a hell of a lot of drama, too much for my liking which made me walk away. Story time people, gather around.

This goes back 6 years to grade 9 - 1st year of high school. Meet a great girl, shes really sweet, innocent, has same values / morals as me, didnt drink, didnt smoke, never did drugs and we just clicked. We used to go to lunch every day and wander the halls until I met her older brother who was just a little over protective. Made me back down a little after a run-in and lots of dirty looks and dissaproving stares. I was in grade 9, he was in grade 12, I was powerless and if anything happened I'd be on the receiving end so I kept talking to her but we didn't hang out as much.

That went on for a while than she met another guy, they went out for a few months and things were okay between them but he was really into drugs and kept lieing to her. She found out one day he was using / selling marijuana and she flipped out and dumped him, came to me for help and me being the idiot I was, I listened and told her to just leave him, told her she had better options elsewhere (me). She agreed with everything I said but the next day they were back together. He broke tons and tons of promises he had made her to stop and eventually she just broke down. She called me one night around 10pm asking to hang out. They had just had a fight and he kept calling her. I go to meet her at the corner of my street and its liek a damn movie scene, she gets off the bus crying and runs to me and we hug. He calls her again and she makes me answer, I just pick up and say she doesn't want to talk to you, leave her alone and hang up. He decided to be a persistant f*ck and continued to call. I answered again and the guy knew me so the first thing he says is F*CK YOU MATT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOUR WITH SAM IM GOING TO COME BEAT THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW, TELL ME WHERE YOU GUYS ARE OR IM COMING TO FIND YOU. I just hung up, the guy was a scrawny drug dealer, he didn't have it in him to pull anything on me and I wasn't scared of him, I woulda ran his show if he tried. Anywho, she was crying on my shoulder and everything and I was holding her, I tell her to leave him, I'd treat her better, never lie to her and she agreed. Shortly after I drove her home and expecting things to just work out they didn't. They got back together a few days later, and that was that.

She continued to cry to me when they had issues and I got fed up so I just walked away. I wasn't wasting my time for something that wouldn't happen as much as I wanted. By the time they broke up a year later she wasn't the same girl I had fallen for. He got her into partying / drugs / drinking and she wasn't the sweet innocent girl she used to be. She really went downhill and to this day I still think she is georgous but I'd consider her wasted potential. Her personality really changed and I still regret I didn't say anything early on or get scared off by her brother.

Moral of the story: don't let older siblings get in the way, don't be in the middle of crappy relationships because its all false hope.

I felt like an idiot after wasting soo much time and losing soo much sleep / being soo emotionally attached to her. Is it a bad thing that I kinda blame myself for not doing anything and her turning out how she did though?

 

You shouldn't blame yourself. She chose to do what she did, not you.

 

Yea but I just feel if I had done more than say something, actually make a move or actually really tell her how I felt than things would be different in the sense of we woulda been together and she wouldn't have been with him and she wouldn't have become who she is now... I just overthink too much so I'm not a man of action or words. Live and learn I guess, still have the same issue today though, overthinking, not saying how I really feel and not knowing how to make a move / interpret signals

 

Over Thinking is crap, Trying to hard is also Crap,

 

I play it cool and i'm pretty level headed and down to earth, I never act cocky though I am a bit of a doormat to everyone which doesn't help. I don't speak out very much and overthinking is aided with some alcohol which leads to a lack of thought and bad decisions also.

Atleast the thrill of the chase still exists even if I have no success haha

 

I don't know what all of this has to do with cheating, but i'll chip in anyways. I think overthinking is good as long as you combine it with speaking out. Compensates for other people not thinking at all.

But simply overthinking while not taking any action is silly. So it's not thinking a lot that you're doing wrong, it's that you keep it to yourself instead of doing something.

When that girl went back to that junkie once again, why did you just sheepishly leave her to it? You could have told her she's being stupid. Maybe she would have just taken offense to it but maybe it would have opened her eyes. 50% chance of success. Instead you lost her 100% and you'll be forever wondering what would have happened if you'd have stepped up. You just gave yourself more crap to overthink.

 

Ill chime in hear as I feel its time to let go and yes Ive only got 50 post's as Im more of a lurker than anything else anyho.

Met this girl at work about 3 years ago which I fell for long and hard I was 18 she was 17, we talked, had lunch together at work so I asked her out one day and well it just worked I thought the world of her. We had our blips and looking back when she said she was falling for a couple of work mates I should have ended it but I stuck with it as she was the wow girl there was nothing she could do to make me angry I was happy/settled and thought I'd found the "one" which was worth fighting for. Now last November we made the choice to move out together as we felt ready even though she was using the "cant wait to get away from parents" more than the "I cant wait to move out with you" but thought nothing of it as I was on cloud 9.

Then start of this year I had some personal issues with my family which sent me off the rails I met this other girl I worked with and we clicked one thing led to another, and well I'd take everything back and talk to a professional if I could to make things right as she found out. I'd also found out at the same time that the other half had been texting yet another work mate and things had gone past the line and he was telling her what he wanted to do/ and her, we had a rough few months but I thought we were working through it we were talking of marriage and kids (more her than me I was just nodding) until she dropped the bomb shell that she couldn't take it any-more that she didn't love me and it was over (the day after our 2yr 7month ani) needless to say I was heart broken but accepted it as I'm not God and couldn't change anything so we moved back into our parents house's and kept working at the same place.

We started chatting again she confessed she had made the wrong choice but didn't want to let her pride get in the way so couldn't continue with us, yet still led me on for the best part of a month and half saying it could work that she'd need time and things were better together, than apart.

Until she turns round after it all and says she's in love with another of my work mates (noticing a pattern here) that they were meant to be/had done the deed and had been seeing each other a week after we broke up and that it was meant to be.

Now I know what I did wrong but I saw it as lust nothing else and everyday I live in regret as I now feel Ive lost a part of me but Im getting back on track accepting there will be more ect ect.

But needless to say Ive been forced away from my family had too move 200 odd miles to get away from the in your face look at me, along with been mentally dragged through the ringer and now have zero trust in any woman after that little stunt.


All I know is people cheat end of, for many reasons it might seem like fun but I'd advise anyone who's doing it or thinking of it you cant keep it a secret no matter how good you think you are, and you will loose the majority of what makes you happy sod the "act" think of what will happen after.



And please no "it was your own fault" I know it was.

 

Great, You've learned your lesson, Now can pass advice down to others,

I'd never cheat, I'd never go behind my girls back, I'd rather slit my wrist, And as for "you ain't had the chance yet" You don't know me!,

My Dad when he was in his teens said to my Mum "Don't you ever cheat on me", at around 46 He came into allot of money and caught stds off random chicks, my mum knew by the medicine and hospital slips he had, After being together for 23-24 years My mum doesn't know what to do, shes stuck, she'd never leave him, even if he carried on cheating, It make's me sick, Make's my blood boil just the fact that he gets away with such things,

I freaking Hate Cheaters,

I'm finished in this topic now i think,

 

I cheated once. Only once. Not even all the way, just heavy petting. My own guilt afterwards was completely unbearable. Maybe I'm gifted(cursed?) with a strong conscience which will not allow me to do things of this nature.

Wouldn't ever be an issue now anyway since my missus is the 100% perfect absolute one for me and for that i am genuinely grateful.

I can understand why some people do it though. Seen many friends in hard times and volatile relationships which could push someone into it.

As Daza said, just think of the consequences.

 

I only ever cheat to get past bugs in the game, broken doors, impossible AI scales, that kind of thing. And never when playing multiplayer.

Oh, wait, you meant relationship-cheating!

Personally, I have never cheated on anyone. I will admit to having mis-read a relationship, and have some real crazy b!tch push me into more than I was willing while I was with another girl (I finally got my head right, ditched the b!tch, and married the girl, and am still happily married to her 5 years later in a whole 'nother country).

I have, however, been cheated on, several times. By different people (I'm not that stupid). Mostly I was being used at the time, though, so while I may have thought the relationship was serious, they only wanted something from me. Still, finding the frigid girl you're making out with (and only making out with) is banging some other guy is never nice, and I would never inflict that on others.

But then, I'm "Blessed" with an excess of conscience - My first reaction to a drunk woman falling on me is to make sure she stops drinking and has a ride home (Yes, that has really happened. Yes, my 'friends' were very disappointed, as they thought I had a 'sure thing' there). I'd rather get someone for me than for their lack of judgement.

I think an "Open" relationship can work. It is a very tricky thing to get right, and requires both the right people, the right attitude, and an extremely deep level of trust between them, and it's not something that I have, or want personally. I am too jealous to allow my girl to be touched by another man. But I believe, if all parties involved trust each other fully, not to cross any boundaries or to take anyone out of their comfort zone, then such a relationship can work. I'm just not wired right for that.

 

I'd also like to add that when one does cheat and it's not for everyone there a a number of reasons. But its the dealing with after that hurts the most knowing that its YOU who's just destroyed something and YOU will spend months feeling like a failure no one tells you that.