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Considering seeing an escort. Right or Wrong, or neither Thoughts?

Discussion in 'Serious' started by AcidJiles, 5 Oct 2010.

  1. Sloth

    Sloth #yolo #swag

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    Big +1

    What does it matter? And really, if talladega's thread has been anything to learn from, you'll be doing yourself a huge favor if you don't focus on having sex and try to build a meaningful relationship instead. You say you don't like one night stands, but don't seem to be giving a real relationship any chance. You'll build social skills and self confidence, you'll probably enjoy your time with her far more than an escort (don't underestimate the power of passion), and maybe you'll even have a very serious relationship that will change your life for good.

    And if you can be a 24+ year old virgin and still be a guy like Nexxo, then there's nothing to worry about
     
  2. TheBlackSwordsMan

    TheBlackSwordsMan Fellow of the Teelzebub Society

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    I don't know what to say except that I'm not a Prostitute consumer and from my point of view its bad. Dating a girl for a One Night is that so horrible ? You want to know a secret ? THEY WANT TO BE DATING FOR A ONE NIGHT TO ! Do you think that all girl want to be dating all the time by potentials boy friend ? Come on open your eyes and go get a girl like the Lion you are my friend. You dont need a prostitute, you need to find some guts and Charge like a conqueror ! I've faith in you
     
    Last edited: 5 Oct 2010
  3. lp1988

    lp1988 Well-Known Member

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    The problem whit advice like these is that they have so little in them. how precisely are you going to do it?

    Virgin myself (¤#!§) and going on to 23 so I can relate to what you are saying.

    I have considered going to a prostitute but at least for now decided that it is not worth it, for pretty much the same reasons Nexxo stated. It just doesn't feel right. Make up your Decision and then wait a month or two, if you still feel like doing it, then do it I am not going to judge you, and nor should anyone else. It might not be the best thing to tell you future girlfriend as the first thing though.

    Unfortunately as I am in the same boat I haven't got any good advice. The only thing I can say is that you are at least not the only one. But regardless, get out is properly the best way to do it, meet some new people doesn't have to be girls, just meet people and at some point you will meet a few girls as well.

    One of my own problems is that I am a control person, I really can't stand loosing control and therefore never dare to take risks. the one way to get around this is to place yourself in a situation where you have to meet new people. one way is to get a new job, preferably as a bartender or similar where you have constant contact with people, joining a dance club or taekwondo club helps too. you might not get laid but it helps the people skills. I do voluntarily work at a bar and met five new people just the last day.

    If you really want some straight up tactics try watching "the picup artist"
     
  4. PureSilver

    PureSilver E-tailer Tailor

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    21 here, lost it at 16 to then girlfriend. I've had much more rewarding and enjoyable sex with later girlfriends but don't feel particularly aggrieved about how my first time panned out; when you get down to it, sex is a physical act that can mean as much or as little as you let it. That said, several of my classmates lost it to hookers - not escorts; technically I think they're 'window girls' - in Amsterdam over the course of a weekend and that never really sat well with me, or I think with them.

    As usual, I concur with Nexxo. You're not missing anything by waiting - if anything, waiting might push you a bit more into something that could become a relationship - and my honest opinion is you would lose more than your virginity to the escort.
     
  5. GregTheRotter

    GregTheRotter New Member

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    +1.

    My first sexual encounter was pretty much a fling, wanted to get it over and done with.

    I haven't had a gf or any sort of relationship with a girl since I left school, (am 23), and haven't been laid in ooh say two years or so. Sure I've though of going down the paid for sex route, but a; I'm afraid of the idea, i.e it just doesn't sit that well with me. b, i've had a lap dance once. Sure I grabbed her ass tits etc, but I still felt pretty empty afterwards. I mean, it was just another reminder that nothing else is gonna happen.

    Personally I'd try the on line dating route before I went and splashed out on an escort.
     
    Hex likes this.
  6. AcidJiles

    AcidJiles New Member

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    I don't feel concerned about being a virgin, in fact I think it would be quite appealling to some girls.
     
  7. TheBlackSwordsMan

    TheBlackSwordsMan Fellow of the Teelzebub Society

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    How ? Its your job to find, my friend. You want an universal cheats code to get a girl at 100% or a blueprint about how it work? Sorry but there is no such thing. Every advice, every plan, everything will result in a simple moment 'A gutsy move'. Control ? Forget it, you can only control YOUR moves, and guess about her.
     
  8. Otis1337

    Otis1337 aka - Ripp3r

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    If it was me, i wouldn't do it.... wait for the right girl, and if you do get with someone and they think your a looser or something for been a virgin, then there obversely not the right girl for you.

    I lost my V earlier this year, and was some what disappointed, but it gets better as you get better. And you know what, i wish i was still was a virgin, because the bitch ended up cheating on me just over a month ago... [her sh!t was striate on the street!]

    And im just like you in the same view of one night stands, i would much prefer a longer, meaning full relationship... wait for the right gal, not a prozzy. You will be glad you did trust me.
     
  9. TheBlackSwordsMan

    TheBlackSwordsMan Fellow of the Teelzebub Society

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    The universal law of 'Try, Error, Try, Error, Try, Win' Its how a person gain maturity & You did it fine
     
    Last edited: 5 Oct 2010
  10. Burnout21

    Burnout21 Is the daddy!

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    There is another problem which will cause major problems.

    If you hire said call girl for the deed, then she could be extremely skilled which instantly sets your perspective on sex, thus any relationship that follows later with a normal girl/lady you might find annoying because as much as you like to think there skilled and all knowing, there just not.

    And when they ask what's wrong (not if, they will ask), you'll have the horrid moment of, I've had better, which is an emotional punch in the face, because the 1st time in a meaningful relationship both people feel the pressure of not wanting to let the other one down.

    SO DUDE, chill out and find a girl with in your communities you hang around in unless of course your addicted to World of War craft, sit in your mother basement and only come out at night because you think its cool and emo.

    Call girls are for the players in this world, the chronic cheaters or men and women who can't settle with anyone. Some couples even allow one of the couple to use a call service if it means that person isn't having an emotional affair, usually somebody with a history of being unfaithful and who likes playing the field but loves only one person. Life is very complicated.


    You need to change yourself, come out of your shell a little and try a little bit of joining in of social events, you don't have to drink just say your driving that's what i did every time.
     
  11. Jedra

    Jedra Supermodel

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    That is somewhat a generalisation. Everyone's life is different. Not everyone who uses an escort service is cheating on someone, nor are they always more likely to cheat on a regular partner. It would be good if our society were more open towards the process of people using escort services and indeed we were mature enough to make it licenced and legal.

    I will reiterate that using an escort service for your first sexual experience is probably not the best idea. Not from the point of view that the 'quality' of the service will set the bar high (because this is not always the case), but from a pychological perspective. Having said that I see no actualy moral dilema, but morals are a very, very personal thing.
     
  12. 1-0-1

    1-0-1 Nothing interesting to put here.

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    So what is going to happen when you get drawn to how easy it is to get laid this way? All of it is superficial (so is some dating experience but that is part of the experience) and at the end you are just setting yourself up for ruin cause real life dating, courting, getting laid etc. is going to much of a hassle and way too real. If you don’t mind me saying but there might be something else wrong why at 24 you have not gotten laid properly or/and had a relationship seeing you have high morals. Maybe too much at work? Too much in front of the computer? Unrealistic expectations of relationships and sex?
    By the way – what is interesting is that you keep mentioning you have high morals but thinking of getting an escort? Kind of double standards there buddy. If you want to get an escort, go get one and I am sure you going to have a blast - but know that you cannot pay yourself through happiness.
     
    Last edited: 6 Oct 2010
  13. Cthippo

    Cthippo Can't mod my way out of a paper bag

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    Just out of curiosity, Nexxo, would you say there is an upper age limit at which point this advice expires? Not referring to the OP here, but what if the person asking was 40 or 50? I've known men in their 40s and 50s who were still virginal due to a lack of social skills (several had severe Aspergers). Does there come a point at which "not good" is better than nothing?

    Back when I was on the AS forums I notices a definite gender difference. The severely affected men had never had a meaningful relationship and the equally affected women had all been in abusive marriages.

    It's only a double standard if he feels that getting an escort is wrong, and that is an open question. If it's not wrong, then no double standard applies. It sounds like you're assuming that everyone shares your values, and that's not the case.
     
    Last edited: 6 Oct 2010
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  14. Tentacled

    Tentacled New Member

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    Is the issue that you want to go to a hooker, but are worried about any possible stigma or that you want to lose your virginity and want to know if a hooker would be a good way for you to do it?
     
  15. capnPedro

    capnPedro Hacker. Maker. Engineer.

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    My first time kinda sucked, if you'll pardon the expression. So don't waste your money.
     
  16. Mattmc91

    Mattmc91 Well-Known Member

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    I think everybody's first time was fairly naff, just hope you'll find a great girl who'll take you for who you are :) (Been with my current missus for the past 2 years, she was my first)
     
  17. RichCreedy

    RichCreedy Hey What Who

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    if your single, and the escort is willing there is nothing wrong with it.

    if your married, then it's a different kettle of fish. unless your partner agrees it's ok, it isn't.

    there maybe legitimate reasons that one may want to see an escort whilst married (you are unable to have sex with your partner for whatever reason)

    if all parties involved are concentual and safe then there is no reason it should be wrong
     
    Last edited: 6 Oct 2010
  18. ShakeyJake

    ShakeyJake My name is actually 'Jack'.

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    Difficult one. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with visiting an escort. A street hooker being forced into it by her pimp for drugs money? Hell no! But a girl who wanted to be there just as much as you? I'd go for it.

    That's the morals out of the way, so is a hooker a good way to lose your virginity? I have to admit, I'm slightly old-fashioned in that I waited for the 'right girl' to lose mine. We were together for four years almost (sex maybe 3 weeks into that) and we're still best friends to this day. Once the opening act was out the way I have to say I don't attach that much meaning to sex these days, and I'm quite happy to do it with someone to whom I have no emotional attachment to (but that's just 'cos I'm single atm!). In theory, I'd be more than happy to visit an escort now. But, I have to be honest, I'd be slightly disappointed if my first time was with a hooker. I have no real idea why, but there you go. I think losing your virginity to a partner who is also losing there's at the same time is nice too, that certainly helped me get over any 'where does this go' etc fears that I had. :)

    It occurs to me that you are clearly thinking about this a lot. I wonder how 'successful' you would have been if, rather than debate and post about this endlessly you went out and talked to some girls. You say you don't want a quasi-emotional hookup but that assumes that the girl is having the wool pulled over her eyes. There are just as many women out there looking for sex as men, the difference is that the women are more often misunderstood.

    I had a flatmate who had been through a particularly bad breakup and 6 months later wasn't over his ex. I know you don't drink (which doesn't mean you can't go out to places that serve alcohol!*) but we had a 'Jon needs a GF' night out. We got t-shirts made with his picture one and the word 'Interested?' written underneath and then spent the whole night playing wingman for him, the five of us. Granted he didn't get laid that night, but he got three phone numbers, of which one turned into a sober(ish) date in a nice restaurant with a very happy ending alter that night. This I can vouch for as he was in the room next to mine. Sometimes just being honest about what you're after can work wonders.

    * = I used to work for my uni as an undergrad doing student recruitment. We had to be inclusive to everyone and so came up with some cool ways for teetotallers to enjoy themselves on a bar crawl.
     
  19. Nexxo

    Nexxo Queue Jumper

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    If they just want a sexual experience then they should go ahead and see a prostitute --as long as they have realistic expectations about it. At 40 or 50 you are more likely to. But if they want an emotional relationship then it is best to work on that and the sex will happen.

    Of course it is possible that after losing their virginity with a prostitute they feel more relaxed about approaching women because the pressure to get laid is out of the way. The best relationships start as friendships. But they should not expect a date with a prostitute as giving them more social confidence or knowledge on how to approach women, what they are attracted to and what they experience as good sex.
     
  20. Jangafress

    Jangafress New Member

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    I dont think you should juudge whether its right or wrong per se, rather if its right or wrong for you.
     

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