Dealing with a messy end of freindship, help, please . . . Long post

At the begining of the year I had what I beleived to be a very close friendship with a member of the opposite sex, which was progressing nicely into possibly something more.

However as the friend (now ex friend) in question was preparing to take her exams she shut me out. I tried to get he to open up, but it just didn't work, all I got was a black lash of anger and how everything was my fault and how she was going to fail her exams and so therefore wouldn't be able goto uni. I told her that I was just going to give her some space and let her sort her problems out, and when she wanted me that she could at any time approach me and talk. Before all this we'd spent god knows how long on the phone, I know for a fact I blew £20 worth of credit on her alone.

Anyway she didn't make contact, not 1 phoe call, not an e-mail, she didn't even come to see me after she'd taken her exams, I didn't hear from her until results day to discover that even though she'd failed her exams Manchester Uni would still take her. I congratulated her (as of course anyone would) Thats when all the trouble started, "you upset me " she said, I asked why and I got more and more abuse "All I wanted was support" was the next one, then came a string of insults so I told her tht I didn't know what I had done to make her feel that way towards me (I literally did nothing wrong, I tried to offer support and show that I cared and all she did was turn her back on me) Oh yeah and when I had problems of my own she said they didn't matter

Anyway I thought I'd heard the last of it as I hadn't heard anything for 2 weeks, when at 4am this morning, when I was in bed sleeping, the stupid girl phones me, I'd forgotten to tturn my phone off, I am a very light sleeper and can't so much as sleep with my PC on so a ringing mobile phone is just as bad, anyway the dopey girl hangs up, after playing keypad tones down the phone to me, I didn't actually know the number because she's got one of those twin sim phones. I sent a txt to the number and got a response "Anne who you hate" So I called her ask why she phoned me at suh an un godly hour, and she hung up when all I said was that Ididn't appreictae being woken up at such a time and could she leave me alone.

Then followed a txt and it says and I qoute "I did not ring u! My mate did like everyone else on my f**cking list! Grow up!" thats the pot calling the kettle black, I don't need to grow up, she sure does.

Basically now I'm a bit worried that this behavior pattern is going to continue, I am really considering changing my mobile phone number as I've just about had as much as I can take of this abuse.

I actually feel quite threatend, and I haven't felt this way in a long time.

/me scared

 

women...

What a great species. More confusing then the mating of sea turtles.

 

Makes me glad sometimes that I don't deal with them much...

So I won't pretend to know women. I do, however, know depression, and think I have an insight. With exam stress and all, depression is more common amongst students than one might realise, diagnosed or not.

When in a bad time of depression, etc, it is easy (and really quite theraputic actually) to aim all of the depression and anger and everything bad you feel at one target, which you blame for causing it (rightly or wrongly). The ultimate goal is to rid yourself of this target, for it is the cause of everything bad in your life.

I fear she may regard you that way. However, it strikes me that she's got it wrong. I've got it right a couple of times (and wrong a few times too), and when you get it right, and you have removed the thing that was bad, you have no wish at all to deal with it again. She keeps harrassing you, which suggests she chose you as the target, but it didn't work. What she hasn't realised is that she got the wrong target, and by harrassing you is attempting to persuade herself she got it right (and this only makes things worse...).

I'm afraid I don't know what to suggest you do. If you have decided for sure that you don't want more to do with her, then cut off communication. Don't take calls from her, don't call her back. She'll get the message in the end. If not, then you'll have to change numbers I guess...

 

See sounds off it to me. Stand up to the **** shes been giving you and she dosnt stop lay the smack down

Make her fear you that will stop her

 

Thanks IsaacSibson, I actualy ad to stop today and am I really a bad person, although I knowI'm not I still had to ask myself that question.

I have actully ignored her calls before and not taken them and diverted to answer phone or have switched my phone off but when I switch it back on again I get a laod of nasty txt's, and the only way to delete them is by going into them and reading them and then deleting them.

I did today respond to her txt, can't remeber exactly what I said butI know it was along these lines "What, me grow up? Come on, I think pot kettle and black applies, good bye have a nice life", I hope it has put an end to it because I'm streesed myself (no job, got parents hasstling, employment service breathing down my neck, have a few debts to pay) and I just don't need the added worry of a potential phone pest. So as of now she's as blocked as I can make her, e-mails MSN, the only thing I can't block her on is my phone as it doesn't have that feature (grrr old technology, Nokia 3210) I'm keeping both her numbers stored because then I'll know no to answer and just cancel the call.

Kevo - Oh yes belive me, there were several times when wanted to hit her, but I never would raise my hand to a woman, thats what Quake 3 is for.

 

That girl, talk about a complex !
I dunno, what are they like, women, peh

 

women.... can't live with them... can't live without them... i say sit her tail down and give her an ear full

 

i think isaac is right & she is jsut venting


if you want to salvage a frendship talk to some of her friends to see if they can help you work out what is wrong as she may be venting her anger to you (probably not on purpose) & then crying on the shoulders of other friends

give that man a pint, dude you deserve one for sticking by your guns & not hitting her when other people may have

 

i've got a sledgehammer you could borrow. that would fix your problem with her anyway... you're on your own as to how you deal with any problems the authorities present.

actually, i would be inclined to say just cut her off completely, but they you will spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. the best advice i think i saw on this thread was to sit her down and tell her what's what. don't give her a chance to talk until you are done, because girls have a tendancy to hijack conversations.

 

I tried that and my speach fell on deaf ears, and she has ditched most of her friend too I believe, not sure for what reason but right now I just don't care anymore.

 

its YOU men who drive us to go nutty, stupid fools. And what makes it worse is that you havent got PMT to blame it on your just constantly moody

Im my opinion men are only good for one thing, and your not even good at that half the time

Women make this world, what would you do without us, and all you do is complain (moan moan moan )

NIC HAS SPOKEN hohohohoh

 

^ I'm with her! Yoo men really do stink sometimes!


*pervert laff* horheeehorhorhor!

 

quick lads bribe the lasses with a shopping trip to go buy shoes so they stop nagging




lads 10
lasses 0




im sorry to any lasses on the boards but that was wwwaaayyy to easy an opportunity for a bad joke to miss

 

God I'm glad I don't have to deal with that!

 

deal with what u cheeky sod. its us that has to deal with u men

 

i smell a rebelion

 

Well then thank me for not adding another to your burden, and in fact taking another off the load on women (well, I would if I could find the right one.....)

 

I had the same problem. Basically my best friend decided to blame me for *everything* that she was experiencing. For the first month before my GCSEs she shut me out almost completely, then i got a phone call and she explained basically how i was ****ing up her life, how i always am unsupportive and generally blamed me for everything. I tell you i have never been so depressed, but *luckly* i had other friends to confide in and they told me it was stress, and i should just leave her alone and forget about her. Fortunatly after the exams we talked and she apoligised and we worked things out. Now unfortunatly i havent seen her in 6 months but the last time i did she was still like my sister.

Unfortunatly in your case it sounds like you shouldnt give her the time of day. Ignore her and cut her out of your life - you dont need the stress. Youve made the effort and if she's so shallow to not realise you've both got history greater then the last few months then she's not the friend you thought she was. Im sure you have other friends - spend some more time with them.

 

go to the police and say she is stalking you

 

your on the blob arent you

oh come on you were walking straight into that rubbish joke