Dealing with a messy end of freindship, help, please . . . Long post

I'm not in effect being stalked, if she was 1)Following me round 2) Constantly bashing at my front door 3) Holding me histage then it's be a case for the old bill.

But as it stands it's a case of misserable sad, mixed up 18 year old (did I not mention that?) with an axe to grind. So far today no kind of communication has been made so I thnk I am rid of the savage beast that is called Anne.

I do have other friends, but they've all gone away back to uni 1 of them lives in Scotland, and righ now I could do with having her hear rather than all the way up there.


I'm pleased Anne will be going to uni this week, means she won't have the chance to think about me (I hope)

 

I really do think that Isaac hit the nail on the head with the depression thing. especially as you've now mentioned she's ditched most of her friends. That is a classic sign of depression & is usually to do with pushing everyone close to you away so you can justify your feelings of self-loathing. Unfortunately it's also something people tend to do before attempting suicide, but hopefully she's not that bad & going to Uni will mean that she meets new people, gets some self-esteem back & either leaves you alone for good or has the decency to apologise.

Of course, whether you accept her apology is totally up to you. I had a friend who went psycho on me & after 2 years of avoiding her she started sending me e-mails at work saying she'd like to apologise to everyone she "wronged whilst mad"... I don't need her in my life anymore though so I took on board her apology & cut all ties there. If we see each other in the street we smile & say "hi", but that's all. It's hard for me to forget all the hassle she caused me.

Chin up though, it does sound very much like she's the one with the problem & you're not a bad person at all. Don't dwell on it, just hope it sorts itself out.

 

Thanks to everyone Must admit I am feeling much better no since I have broken all ties and forms of communication with her, and she's not the kind to apologise, I had to apologise once for her own angry rantings at me, still must move on, Theory drving test number 2 tomrrow, hope I pass this time!!

 

i bet you will pass as the universe has been cruel to you in the past few days & for your spirit to acive cosmic balance somehthing good will ahve to happen to balance it out


god give me a silly hate & jsut call me guru maharishi ellis

 

I could be wrong...

But it is something I've done. When I was at school, in my final A-level year I started to get bad depression for the first time. I blamed it on most of my "friends", who had no time for me other than for what they could get out of it. As soon as I could, I got out, and I was 5000 miles away on a long holiday when the usual end-of-term celebrations happened, and all the old-boy network rubbish (public school... ). Getting away from that and spending 6 weeks in west coast US, getting back the day before the A-level results were released did me a lot of good, and set me up again with new confidence and vigour. For a long time I was, however, paranoid about ever seeing my "friends" (who, by the way, have made no effort to contact me...) again, and would almost run if I saw the same model of car in the colour they had, or whatever...

Depression doesn't go away, and I've relapsed into it a few times, but generally I am getting better at dealing with it. As I've said, if she had correctly identified what was causing her the trouble, and it was you, she'd never have tried to contact you again, because when you do get it right (as I seem to have done the first time), you have absolutely no desire to see them again. It's like the rope holding you down has been cut. If you get it wrong, you try to alienate people even more, not leaving them alone, because you're trying (unsuccessfully) to prove that you were right.

As hex said, if you just cut her out, you'll do ok. You don't need to contact her and say you're doing so, because that's the sort of attention she's looking for, wanting to be able to cite you "abandoning" her.

So, regard yourself as free of that weight behemoth, and move on to new pastures. It's well worth it. Drawing a line under it mentally will help a lot, because you do not want to get dragged down.

 

thats exactly what I have done, she is well and truly blocked, although I am still considering getting a new phone number.

Thanks again, I feel much better about it all now

 

i guess just before my GCSE's (just under a year ago actually) i kinda "dumped" all my friends, and just sat on the computer all the time. I used to have a decent social life now i don't even bother trying to have one.. i think it's boring personally, a game of q3 is way more fun than wondereing the streets with people all night. Anyway i was depressed for a while now i dont really care about being "anti-social", as my mum calls me.. i'm certainly not going to top myself

 

i actually had a total 100% breakdown due to bullying so i know what stress can do & i think your better off now you have cut all ties from her

 

I've suffred bullying, name calling and phyiscal beatings for 13 years (my whole school and college life. At times it's made me feel, especially yesterday that there's just no end to it all for me.

But I am happy now that all ties have been cut and I can now move on without that particular person anymore.

 

mmmmm fluoxitene that has to be the solution to all problems

-Flamika

try not to consume more than 40mg per day, 20mg being normal dossage or you may end up contemplating suicide... being sick ... etc as listed in the information in the box

 

Surely on an 3210 you can set it so her numbers don't make the phone ring? I'm sure I could on mine.

 

you we're all bullied huh... well I was bullied, not physically, no one dared touch me, there was one word I got all the time.... "Hitler" why? Because my father is half german. People in this world truly are sad. Especially the brits... germany didn't even start on britain, my grandfather and other germans had no idea about what was going on in the camps. (my grandfather returned home once after the war to show his father his beautiful welsh wife and 3 children, then vowed never to return there ever) and it was the british that invented the concentration camps. Deal with that. THAT'S BULLYING

Anyway, to keep on topic I had a friend who went hay-wire during the exams, only difference was after the exams she tried her best to be all pally-pally.... pfft fat chance.

 

here's what I know about men and women (half joking).

Women are all crazy (some of the crazy tendencies are quite entertaining)
Men are all stupid/lazy

The key is to find a woman whos nerosses are compatible with your stupidity (that is why I am a happy bloke* , some may say ignorence is bliss).

I think Hex and Isaac have pearls of wisdom here. I have never suffered from depression but I have known a few close people in my life that have and it is like watching a storm and every once in a while you get hit by lightning for not getting out of the way. Sounds like you personified some of the problems she was having at the time and she resented you and after the exams were over she not only blamed you for what she thought was your fault but also for abandoning her (the old damned if you do... etc).

To me you have two choices, be there and understand and know that what she is going through is not her and absorb the abuse knowing that it won't last forever and you will be there on the other side of this darkness. Or, cut her loose and run like hell. I don't think there can be any in between. Just my $.02


* I like to pepper my comments periodically with brit terms to tweak Linear...

 

/me hears axes being ground....

Of course anyone saying all germans were/are nazis is a fool. Hitler was a fruitcake, and many germans came to hate him and tried to kill him (Rommel was implicated and executed for this).

Of course, he was a democratically elected fruitcake, but that certainly doesn't mean that everyone who voted for the nazis was anti-semitic or racist or homophobic. Do you agree with ALL of the policies of the people you vote for? People generally vote for those who promise the best for them. I dare say genocide wasn't on hitler's manifesto....

And the british are far from innocent of wrongdoing. The americans aren't either. Neither are the japanese. Or the australians. Or in fact, ANYONE.

Coming back on topic, I'm glad this is reasonably resolved as far as you're concerned behemoth.

 

And of course, Hitler wasn't even German...

Just hate the French, it's much easier. I mean, what are they going to do, surrender?!


come on, it's a joke. get over it.

 

With comments like that you wonder why you got bullied?

 

I haven't heard a thing from Anne since, it's quite nice now knowing that I'm not going to so much as get a txt or call from her. Like I said before I really didn't know what to do, and whatever I did do it was always wrong (how showing your support is wrong I shall never know)

And nope I can't block numbers on the 3210, I took it to a mate last week to see if there was perhaps that hidden feature locked away in the phone, but we found nothing (handy bit of software that Nokia Logo Manager ) I'm going to be changing my mobile number again at some point anyway.