Other DIY thread

Hope so! They're actually plastic, though harder and sharper than I was expecting. Definitely wouldn't want to try grabbing a handful!

 

More security-related DIY, securing the office.

It's got a pair of UPVC French doors with a "Sold Secure" multi-point locking system plus a French window. The glass is coated on the inside with a film that'd make it harder to break (that's not its purpose, it's thinner than that stuff - it's actually UV-filtering, but it'll still keep the glass stuck together better than no film at all) and behind that are the slam-lock security grilles I had fitted - the higher-grade, insurance-approved ones.

However, the locks in the door and the locks in the grilles were bog-standard Euro cylinders with no bump-key or anti-snap protection. Yeah, I know.

So, rather than shell out on a locksmith I ordered new three-star locks and spent a surprisingly long time fitting 'em myself.

The grilles, easy: 30/30 double and 30/10 single cylinder, one screw, slide out, slide in, screw back in, done.

The doors, less easy. Both 50/50 double, but they're French doors, of course, so that means while one side is one-screw, slide out, slide in, screw back, the other side is... not. First you have to remove the catch plate, which is held on by about 20 screws. Once you've done that, you have to drill a hole in the UPVC profile to get at the retaining screw. Yeah. And you've got to eyeball it. Was too high on my first try, but added a second hole in a lovely figure-eight beneath it and got where I needed to be. Screw out, slide out, slide in, screw in, then put the chuffin' catch plate back on with its bajillion screws.

Everything was further slowed by the fact that I was also adding two-star security handles as well. Again, should be easy, right? Two screws, remove, install, two screws. This time it was t'other way around: the door that was a nightmare to swap the lock on had the handle installed in no time. The other door... I was at it for an hour. I could get it on, but the key was scraping against the edge of the cylinder guard. Not good.

Spent ages jiggling and wiggling the thing, to no avail, 'cos I was sure I was doing something wrong. There's no way the UPVC installer drilled the holes in ever-so-slightly the wrong position, right? That's ridiculous.

So, after I widened the holes that'd been drilled in ever-so-slightly the wrong position (by using a drill bit as a milling bit) it went on fine. Guh.

Finally done now, and feeling a lot happier about the shed's security. Could probably do with hinge bolts fitting to the doors, as they have external hinges, but I don't fancy doing that myself. Got a quote for £160 installed, so I'll just throw money at the problem (like I probably should have at this one...)

Oh, and speaking of mistakes the installers made: the 50/50 door locks were sticking out about 3mm externally (not much I can do about that, or it'll be recessed 2mm into the handle) and 5mm internally, so I replaced 'em with 50/45s. Now the internal bit of the cylinder is lovely and flush with the shiny new handles:



and the exterior is protected by the cylinder guard (and if they get past that, snaps off flush with the door.)



The Euro cylinders in the grilles still stick out, but that's entirely unavoidable 'cos they're literally the smallest ones you can buy (and miss out on the three-star rating, 'cos they have fewer than 20,000 key combinations due to the loss of a pin). Doesn't matter, anyway, 'cos they'd snap off flush if attacked - and if you try to get at the remaining bit it locks the cam completely.

Happy with that, although I'd have been happier at half the price and a third the effort. I chuffin' hate DIY...

 

Busted out the (sadly neglected, these days) lockpicks, out of curiosity.

Using a city rake followed by single-pin picking, I had the door lock open in 20 seconds and the grille lock open in 15 seconds. Time well spent replacing them, methinks!

 

More DIY today, worst luck, but it's decorative this time:



Bamboo to hide the blockwork retaining wall to the right. Was going to go with some posh hand-woven hazel or willow, but this is *way* cheaper. Dunno how long it'll last, mind...

 

Got the front garden planted:



There's a few herbs in play, some lettuces the youngest has been growing from seed, strawbs, kale, peas, sweetcorn, carrots, parsnips, and beetroot. I'm just waiting for my seed potatoes to sprout, and they'll be going in three canvas grow-bag things.

Absolutely no idea if any of the piggin' things will survive to harvest time, but it's an experiment. Looks a lot neater than the old scratty lawn that was there before, too!