Gaming Dungeon Keeper Review

"Price: Your Soul and Childhood Memories"

That made me laugh.
I'm glad to see this getting absolutely slaughtered in reviews, but the shadiness goes beyond just the game itself.
Check this out:

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2...ds-rating-system-filters-out-1-4-star-reviews

(TL;DR: The game only lets you rate it 5 stars on the Android store, or gives you the option to email your feedback - It prevents people rating it the 1/5 it deserves)

 

The sad thing is, die hard fans like me would pay up to around £10 just for the ability to play DK2 or the original DK on their tablets. The original game would port extremely well to a tablet if done correctly. This half-baked micropayment free-to-play ******** just isn't on. The only thing DK about this game is the poorly crafted imitations of the original characters and the name itself.

 

Burn it; burn it with fire!

 

It's such a shame as it looks really nice.

 

No, this isnt the same game. Its not even the same genre. Its not made by any of the same guys. It should have no impact at all on your opinion of any previous games. This is just a Clash of Clans game with a famous old name tacked on for extra publicity.

 

Or to be vaporised into irrelevance by the supernova that is Valve.

 

Now there's a cheering thought.

 

I bought a game on ipad last week made by an ex Disney employee who left his comfortable job because he was ashamed to be working on corporate cash-cow games. So he created his own game with his wife. No IAP and no ads. I bought it on principle alone. I would say the people who set out to create games purely to rake in as much cash as possible with no regard for game quality are criminals. Unfortunately criminals are pretty useless at seeing possible consequences and the backlash and hate that ensues because of their greed.

 

I've got the original DK running on my Nexus 10 using Dosbox Turbo. With a OTG USB adaptor, I can plug in a mouse and boom, done (the touch screen mouse is not great for it as you need both mouse buttons)

 

This game gives me pain.

My gaming studio couldn't take it any more.

WE'RE MAKING OUR OWN REAL Dungeon RTS with no micro-transactions or crappy Free-To-Play logic.

It's in the early phases, but it's underway.

More info at: http://www.superlongname.com/programs/underground-space-wars

 

I had the misfortune of downloading it when I saw it. I was so excited!!!!

And then ... I wasn't.

Spot-on review, BT.

 

At this point the only recourse is to close the game and wait long enough for your quarry and goldmine to accrue sufficient resources so you can do something, or buy more gems, packages for which range from around a fiver (ouch) to £69.99 (hahahahahahaha!)

Fork me, exactly the same as The Simpsons Tapped Out then. The fudge is with £69.99 are they stark raving mad?!!?!?!?!?!

OMG this bit -

They were absolutely right, although in nothing like the way intended. The biggest irony of all is Dungeon Keeper truly is evil. But it isn't the sort of evil that speaks with a deep, booming voice and looks good in black leather, it's the kind that hides behind a friendly smile and a suit and tie, that shakes your hand with one arm and steals your wallet with the other. It's a con-man, playing on your assumptions and preconceptions in order to bleed you dry. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


OK so check this out, right.

It's no secret that I quite like/d The Simpsons. I knew from the get go that basically to truly play the game and get all of the things it had to offer I would need to bend myself over, open my pert cheeks.. Get out the butter (OK that's enough on that one, but you guys get my point..)

Right. So I was determined not to give in and pay £60 or more for some donuts. It's been quite a hard slog, and I have gone off the game to the point where I just do what I have to do then put my phone down and carry on with my daily stuff.

However, then the game did the most dirty, disgusting low down trick I have seen yet. So I got to the point in the game where I have started levelling up quite frequently. This makes me happy. However, I was then offered these Itchy and Scratchy gold scratch cards OMG they're awesome.

So I went to collect one and my phone came up and said - "Sorry the credit card information you have stored is out dated. We were unable to charge you 69p for the scratch card".

And I was all like... Eh? what the ****? nowhere did it mention to me at the time that these scratch cards cost actual physical money nor that EA had tapped into my Android account and actually had the ****ing gall to try and charge my debit card 69p for a virtual scratch card with absolutely no monetary gain.

OK so by now I had slowed my fuming down to a simmer. Then it came up with a message basically saying that Maggie was upset and how dare I upset a baby and didn't I feel bad.

I was, for one of the incredibly rare occasions in my life, completely lost for words.

No seriously, I was actually totally dumbfounded.

Since then? well let's say I see the game for what it truly is. There isn't anything free about it, it's a capitalist corporate ***** aimed straight for your soft, yielding buttocks.

It actually scares me to think that there are kids out there using their parents bank account for it.....


................................................................................

No really, just .........................................................

EA what the **** are you doing?

 

Are you allowed to post a less than 5* review of this in the public domain?

 

It's already been mentioned in the Steam Bargains thread, but GOG are offering the original Dungeon Keeper for free this weekend. Get stuck in!

 

I had DK back in the day and it was quite fun to play. I saw this in the play store and was about to download it until I saw the reviews of disgruntled people and I thought...I dont want to destroy my memory of this game..so I didnt download it. Sounds like I made the right choice lol.