Xbox 360 Free on Monday? Want to play Assassins Creed?

Heres the deal, loyal readers: I've got an invite for myself and a guest to head down to London on Monday the 12th for an exclusive Assassin's Creed Hands on. There's going to be PRs to answer questions, twenty 360s to play the latest build on and a whole load of swag apparently.

Which brings me to the point: I can't go, but I've been told that if I want to send some forum peeps then that'll be fine. We can't cover travel costs or anything, but there'll be food and drinks provided and the event is going to be going most of the day.

So, if you can make it to London on Monday the 12th and you're interested in popping in then post in the thread below. I'll pick three posters at random and give them the address and invites. There's no obligation - it's just a chance for you to turn up and play this highly anticpated game before it gets released at the end of the week.

This is last minute, so HUSTLE!

And extra points if you tell a joke which makes me laugh in your post.

 

Oh if only I didn't have to work. Damn you, Monday! *shakes fist*

 

Pfft, call in sick

 

If there wasn't a whole lotta water in the way I'd be right in there...

 

Don't want to and cant go but I'll try the joke thing.

So a mathematician managed to get drunk one night, and in his drunken rain of terror he's going around everywhere and going up to members of the public and saying "I derive you" or something like that.
In your annoyance you go up to him and say "I'm e^x".

I'm so sorry for bringing that pain onto you.

 

god thats awful.

here's a joke for ya, safe but semi-sexual so in spoilers

Spoiler

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.


"The moral of this story is:"
"Always keep your condoms in your car."

 

and another just for giggles:

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift
in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT
BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife
woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on
her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the
house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

 

I'll stop pwning you in TF2



I probably can't go anyway

 

Well, I am kind of heading in that direction on Monday, I could be persuaded to make a diversion into London...

Anyway, here's the joke (for which I apologise in advance):

A man walks into a bar and is talking with the barman when he's asked how things are hanging.
The man says, "Well... my neighbour is really annoying me with her singing. I've got to do something about it!"
The barman replies, "Hmmm... I know a man who can sort that out for you. Come back tomorrow and I'll introduce you to him."

The next day, the man walks into the pub. The barman sees him and introduces him to someone else sitting at the bar, "Meet Arty. Arty, this is the man who has the problem."
Arty says, "Hello. I hear you have a problem with your neighbour. I'll sort it out for you."
The man replies, "That would be great! How much is it going to cost me?"
Arty thinks for a moment then says, "I'll do it for a pound."
"A pound?!?" the man replies.
"Yeah. Where can I find this neighbour?"
"Oh, she works at Tesco's. She sits in the far right corner of the cafeteria every day at 1pm."
Arty says "OK," then leaves.

The next day, Arty walks to Tesco's and heads for the cafeteria. He looks in the far right corner and sees four people.
"Oh no!" he thinks to himself. "Who is it?"

A few moments pass and he walks up to the table. He wraps his hands around the first person's neck and strangles her. He wraps his hands around the seconds person's neck and strangles her. He wraps his hands around the third person's neck and strangles her, and lastly, wraps his hands around the fourth person's neck and strangles her.

The following day the man walks back to the bar and on a table he sees a newspaper. On the newspaper the headline says, "Arty chokes four for a pound at Tesco's."

 

Hi Flibblebot can you send me your real name and e-mail address to:

hiren.laxman@bit-tech.net and I will send you the details.

 

Flibblebot makes the grade!

 

w00t!

 

I dont get it

 

Artichoke

 

Please please!(also i dont know any jokes anymore, reallife sucked all funnyness outta me)

 

What anime is your avatar from atanu?

 

Jim enjoyed his job at the local supermarket but alas, he was let go for reasons unkown to him. Scanning through the papers, he saw a job advertised..

"Zoo Keeper needed. No experience required"

Jim was all for a change in direction, so applied. He was the only one to apply and he was asked to start the very next day, as the previous zoo keeper had been eaten, or something.

Anyway, it comes to Jim's first day and he's put in charge of the aquarium. He loved watching the fish swim about. Unfortunately, in his eagerness to impress, he fed them too much and a tank full of fish promptly died. Wondering what the hell to do, he chucked them all in the lions cage, as they seemed to eat anything.

The next day, Jim was put in charge of the monkeys. Again, eager to impress, Jim built a new play area for them. Unfortunately, it was too high and they all jumped off and died. Thinking words along the line of 'Holy Crap' and 'Ooh bugger' Jim quickly got rid of the evidence by chucking them in the lions enclosure. 'They'll eat anything', he thought.

The next day, he was put in charge of some beehives (weird zoo, eh?) He was collecting some honey when all of a sudden the bees started attacking him. Luckily for Jim, there was a spade nearby so he splatted the bees until there were no more. 'Oh dear', thought Jim. Thinking fast, he scooped up the bees and threw them in the lions enclosure - after all, they'll eat anything.

The next day, the zoo was having a special delivery - a new lion was to join the pride. The new lion strolled up to another lion and asked, "What's on the menu?" To which the other lion replied...

"Fish, Chimps and Mushy Bees!"

 

Thats brilliant

 

Looks a bit like Ichigo from Bleach gone crazy

 

I had a feeling it might have been.