A couple of months ago we received a shipping container at work and my female boss asked over an open radio channel where it had to go. Unfortunately what she said was "I've got a box. Where do you want it?" And then the truck drivers started to respond. We all cracked up.
I frequenty slip but its usually simple stuff like the wrong form of a word. I do remember one time awhile back when I was asked to make copies at a school I attended. So I was in the lounge fumbling with this old xerox that was notorious for screwing up. Three teachers and the principal of the school are ignoring me. Suddenly, copy machine eats itself, my copy and jams two sheets of the original in the feed tray. "You son of a &*(*ing b*$%h!! I hate this damned thing!" *All eyes on me* *dead silence* *copy machine makes awful noise* *eyes look at copy machine for quarter of a second* *I walk out* *eyes follow* I was totally expecting to get repremanded. They simply never asked me to make copies again. Only time it was brought up was about a year after I left. I kept in touch with a teacher (not one in the room, but word had gotten around I guess) via email. At the end of one email: "By the way <name removed>, they replaced the copy machine last week." He always takes little stabs at me
I was at work, and after I finished with a customer, I meant to say "Have a good one", and for some reason thought to change it to "Have a good day". Ended up saying "Have a good woody", a weird merge of the two words He gave me a funny look and just walked away.
My mate once saw an Old English Sheepdog and said "Oh look, there goes the Durex dog". We absolutely cracked at that one!
I made that slip-up once. Unfortunately in front of my next-door neighbour's parents when I was about 9 I ran out of the room laughing and they didn't twig for a few minutes what I'd said. When I was a wee lass I also slipped up & called M&S Marks & Spensives... not such a slip-up there
I live in complete fear of doing that. Imagine you're being "intimate" and you begin to think how bad it would be if you said someone else's name. Like you ex for example. The more you think about how bad it would be, the worse it gets, and you can't get your ex's name out of your head. Argh. Give it a try next time
Something like that happened at work, the catering deliveries came in, and danni (one of my managers) goes over the radio "I've got a box stuffed with sausages, where shall I put it". I just called in over the radio "As The Actress Said To The Bishop" Hilarious. Also I was telling a story of when I was on holiday and was kissing this strippers boobs in a club, but was also thinking of what a female mate of mine was doing, and infront of about 8 of my mates I said "I was kissing this hot strippers nuts". Hilarious but embarassing!
I've done that too. worse one is when you're doing it in normal conversation. that's why i normally just call my gf's "babe"
One of my mates way back in year 9 must have had s0mething on his mind when he wrote "Oh grandma what big tits you have" in a little red riding hood re-write. Yes he handed it in. Yes he did get a bollocking.
I still love the Carmageddon one: Cunning Stunt Bonus which i once screamed out loud as: Stunning **** Bonus ...in front of my parents.
Speaking of things that can be said. did anyone see the Teeneage Terrets program last night on ITV2? I know its a horrible problem and there is nothing that can be done about it but i was very funny. One of the kids kept shouting... "Jen gives Head" along with the usual swearing etc. The worst thing was that all the sufferers (yes they were in a summer camp so there were lots of them) set each other off. *yes i know im an evil person but i couldnt help myself*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! one time i went to Lisbon and i passed the metal detector and it bleped, i took every thing metal out of my pokets, and it bleped again, tok my belt, shoes and it bleped again the guard says "it looks like you hate to take of your trousers", my dad was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! and sayd "LOOK AT YOUR HAND YOU DUMBASS" i forgot i had a umbrela on my hands and the guard did not notice. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
I had just switched from night shift to days for a little while while the boss was out having a surgery done. One of my coworkers, upon seeing me way too early in the day asked me what I was doing there, and I told him that I moved to day shift to run the shop while the boss was out getting spayed (repeating her term). The female department head just happened to be in a nearby office and stuck her head out the door to see who said it... Yeah, I was a walking EO violation back then...
wow..... read that real fast after pondering the subject matter from the previous few posts and that sounded WRONG
