Learn about my physics teacher, Dr J. Linky How's your funniest teacher? EDIT: During one of his classes I remember (literally) half the class was playing on TI-83+, and the rest were either sleeping or doing other hw. Most of the top ten students in our grade were in class that day and most of them were actually asleep.
Haha, those are good... this could be a great thread. Chemisty: "These aren't indoor fireworks. They're outdoor fireworks, indoors." "(Reading a chem paper out) Three students are doing an experiment ... one of the students thinks the solution will turn green. (looks up) It's probably the girl or the Arab." "Anyone but a moron could understand that. You OK Ivan?" "Irenee du Pont. That's a pretty girly name." "Petrol burns at -6000kJ/mol. Someone's written IRA here." Maths: "Chadders, you're a filthy engineer; did you write ln(2) or 0.693?" "So have you guys done matrices?" Class: "No sir." "Oh. Well that's the lesson plan out the window. (pause) Any of you seen 'Saw III'?" English: "When I arrived at Cambridge, I was worried that everyone would be more intelligent than me. That wasn't the case." "I wouldn't like to shave Ed's leg" Physics: "I am the most unreasonable person you'll ever meet." Biology: (Talking about osmosis making plant cells turgid) Teacher: "I like to think of it as an erecting penis." Olly: "Do you think about that all the time?"
In HS, I had a very weird chemistry teacher once. He hit himself on the head saying "stupid stupid stupid". He cried sometimes. One time, he walked into another chemistry class and argued with that teacher over a cart of apparatus. He said he reserved it. The other teacher said HE reserved it. The weird teacher grabs onto the cart. The teacher who was in the middle of teaching says "hey". The weird teacher says "what, you're going to hit me like last time". And I'm not sure what else happened but it was amusing especially since this teacher is not the confrontational type. I had a professor in college who taught us thermodynamics. It was a mixed undergrad/grad class with only one female. When she was out, he made some pretty funny jokes. It was a night class and every few classes the women's lacrosse team would gather outside the class and stretch and chat it up. This was the basement of a building and somewhat near the gym but for some reason this is where they deicded to meet. One day the professor just invited the entire team into our classroom. He then asked them to define "heat" and "energy". It was bizarre, but amusing to see scantilly clad women athletes wondering what there were doing in this classroom. A few classes later, he had his wife bring his large dog to the class. Show and tell? One physics teacher in HS always thought we were "learning how to use our calculators" during class. Graphing calculator games were pretty amusing. My other physics teacher was pretty funny. On the first day, someone was pointing a laser pointer at the front of the room. The teacher said ok, that's the way you want it. The next day the person did it again. The teacher whipped out his own gigantic laboratory-grade laser and said "try that again".
My A Level physics teacher was struck by lightening somewhere in the Alps (i'm 100% serious) and lived to tell the tale
oh man that would really suck i don not want to be struck by lighting quick story in my area this was on the news there was this kid listening to his ipod wile cutting the lawn and it was lighting he got struck by lighting and it went thew his ipod right to his ears he had burns everywhere the speaker cable was on is body you should have seen his leg there was a huge black spot and really dark red spots on his body were the headphone line was and he almost lost his hearing ouch. 100% true he is ok now
In HS, my history teacher got hit by a cab on two separate occassions. Her old college roommate came to visit her and they were out in NYC when she found out that her friend slept with her then boyfriend. She left her friend stranded in a subway station at like 4am. I also remember that she told us she tied someone up with a telephone cord once.
in US History today our teacher made us brownies. Instead of using just the normal ingrediants she mixed in hot sauce, garlic salt, chiles, and a bunch of other random stuff then made us read this story about the old meat packing plants and how they didnt have quality control and stuff. Most of the class was about to puke and pretending that the brownies were good until she told us what was in them.
Oh man, that's great! I bet that if any of you end up in production, you won't ever cheap out on good QA. Did she at least have real brownies to make up for the gross ones?
My old physics teacher used to be a boxer. Now I teach, it's odd thinking what my students think of me - but I let them get away with lots of stuff, listening to music, burning CDs etc.
in a way yes. She made two plates of them, the good plate all the brownies were small and poorly cut and the bad ones were nice and big and cut nicely
My old A level physics teacher a mean "old" guy called Nikkos, served in the Greek army, its national service over there. So this guy was a hard ass, he must have weighed 100Kg easy so we were scared as fcuk[sic] when he raised his voice!! And I tell you now no one came out of his class with less than a C. But for all his hard ass antic's and perhaps bullying he was the best teacher I've ever experienced!!! And he really sounded like Borat, broken English and strange sayings etc, and i suppose looking back on it all, he was a funny guy! Even now from time to time we have a drink together with other old students.
So this was after the basketball tryouts and we were making fun of this kid,. My teacher said if you have bad grades i have right to make fun of you. Anyway he was like 'Ow! I got a papercut today, didn't you get a cut too?" Everyone got it immeditaly and cracked up.
There was one guy who would always give one of my electronics teachers a tittie twister when walked it, the teacher got sick of it and one day got him back when the guy tried to get him. The teacher blocked him and gave him a massive tittie twister, the guy jumped back and said Guy: Dude, you just grabbed my nipple. Are you gay or something? Teacher: No, you have been grabing mine all semester. Are you? Guy: Hell no! Teacher (calm voice): Well how do you know, you ever try it? Guy (defensive voice): No! Teacher (calm voice): Well how do you know if you never tried it? Guy (still defensive): Well... Have you!? Teacher (almost laughing): Yeah, tried it, didnt really like it. Guy (walks off): Your sick man. I havent seen that guy much at all since that happened. Theres more from that teacher but I shouldnt repeat it in this "family forum." He is the teacher who is the least concerned about keeping his job that I have ever had, funny guy.
LMAO, isnt it always! oh, and my schoolhood was shite, i never had one humourous teacher at all. Just onse sad old bitch/******* after another, im not ecven kidding, a sense of humour isn't exactly common with teachers in England
Some of the best teachers I've had are over here (I lived in Germany for quite a while). Hell, even my A-Level math teacher has a good sense of humour. EDIT: Remembered this - Maths Teach: (Discussion about retardation) Please don't look at Ross.
i must just be totally unlucky then, every teacher i've had is just a boring sod, if you even tried to spark off some humourous conversation with them you'd end up being told that life isn't supposed to be one big laugh, and an essay on "why you're not funny". The only humourous thing that has ever happened to my knowledge was this: We had to design the entrance to any kind of club we wanted for graphic tech. (bare in mind i went toa catholic school) Stephen: "sir, is it alright if i make mine a gay club?" Teacher (he was a sub, i forget his name): "it certainly is not. we are a catholic school, we don't like homosexuals or anything of that kind" Stephen: "oh please sir, i was going to call it Beef Injection and have a pink sports car outside" Teacher: "if you think being gay is acceptable behaviour then you can just leave this class" Stephen: "but im not supporting it sir" Teacher: "youre not?" Stephen: "nah im experimenting with it, didnt you do that when you were young?" Teacher: "Get out" Stephen: "just explain to me why you're so against gay people, i thought God loved everyone.. " Teacher: "Out" Stephen: (under his breath as he's leaving) "bigot.." and thats about the only remotely funny thing thats ever happened. now that i think back though, he was a right dick. And.. i don't even kid.. his breath was so putrid you'd gag if was speaking to you. When you see bad breath in cartoons, it makes chairs rot, plants die, and people weep.. that was his breath after a polo mint..
Nasty but i had a teacher that when he shouted at you you got a free shower. The funniest thing hat happened was in history a white board fell on a teacher breaking it (not the teacher).
