Shamelessly ripped off another forum, but good all the same Ghetto Christmas 'Twas da night befo' Christmas & all in da hood, Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good. The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill. Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live. And Moms in her do-rag and me with my nine, had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine. All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by, Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system's fly. I bounced to the window at a quarter pas' 'Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass! well anyway.... I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this! She said, Stop frontin' & just mind yo' bidness. I said, for real doe, come check dis out. We weren't even buggin', no worries, no doubt. Cuz bumpin' an thumpin' from around da way Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh. Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat I said, "Yo red Dawg, you all that!" He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz, "Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!" To the top of the projects & across the strip mall, We gots ta go, I got a booty call!" He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof, and sippin' on a 40, he busted a move. I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!" he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack! But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz." Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin. He slid down the fire exscape smoove as a cat, and busted the window wit' a b-ball bat. I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?" he said,"You best get on up out my face!" His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold, His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old. He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side. Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide. A wink of his eye and a shine off his gold toof, He cabbage patched his way back onto da roof He jumped in his hooptie wit' rims made of chrome, To tap that booty waitin' at home. And all I heard as he cruised outta sight, was a loud and hearty..... "WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!" Scally Christmas Christmas time, drunkenness and crime, Children playing - in filth and grime, With cars on fire - and trainees under tree Time to rejoice - in be-ing scally, It's a time for stealing, a time for receiving, Knock-off gear - worra great feelin Why pay top dollar - yer can nick it for free, Just like our lecky, - gas and TV Christmas time, píssups all the time Nicking ciggies, - spirits and wine Wearing-shell-suits and Nykees - all knocked off gear It's great getting píssed - on someone else's beer Its a time for drinkin - six packs of Stella Dat yer got - from some dodgy Fella Christmas is sound - Christmas is best God bless our Cilla - and the DHSS Christmas time - time to joy-ride Then go and visit - family inside With Dad on a six stretch - and sis up the duff This 'City of Culcher' can get pretty rough So next time your driving - through Wales'-city You may just know why - the streets look so nasty So keep a sharp eye out - for those dodgy deals But don't drive too slow - or they'll pinch all four wheels And another one... Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, everyone felt crappy - even the mouse Mum at the whore house and Dad smoking grass, and I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter, so I sprang from my bitch to see what was the matter. In our front garden, I saw a big d***, and I said to my woman "It must be St Nick" He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, and I knew in an instant the ******* had fell. He filled up our stokings with chrisps and with beer, and a nice rubber willy for my brother, the queer. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight "p***-on you all, and have a good night"
YEAH!!!! i love the gettho one. one of my local radio stations played something kinda like that last year, but this one was much better.
