Operation: "Keep out of the Friend Zone" 1. You are a fun dude (aka: No really you're a fun dude. I think it's important that she knows this. Just be subtle.) 2. Do not fall into routines with her. (Probably key to not falling into the "Friend Zone" .... unless those routines involve kissing. Hour long conversations on the phone can be great, but can also become routine.. use discretion.) 3. If she talks about her ex: listen (possibly figure out why it went sour) but steer the convo away from her ex completely. (You don't want her to think you don't listen but you also don't want her to focus on her ex. Refer to #1 for topics of conversation.) 4. If you get that gut feeling that you really really want to ask her out.. it might be that she's sending hints. Don't be bashful, ask her out. (at least a month after the breakup maybe longer if they were dating for a long time) That's all I can think of considering its almost 4am here. Good Luck man, but as I said before you probably don't need it. Also.. sorry about all the (parentheses).
Very good advise, but as I said last week I have a date this week at some point... Although she did just cancel as she has to look after her bro and sis so waiting on another say for it. I do think I have made it abundently clear, that if she says anything approaching LJBF I will be off.
The line when a chick says she wants to be friends is: "That's really sweet, but I have enough friends and was hoping we could just have a relaxing fun time with no expectations and see where it went. Give me a call if you change your mind". And walk!!!
Krog mod has got it, you need to stay out of the FZ. You need to be unpredictable and seem like a fun and exciting guy. You need to build attraction and value which you could do indirectly, like maybe when your out and shes out to, talk/flirt with her friends. Shes got to think youre bf worthy. It can get hard especially if this girl is on your mind all the time but you need to keep your eyes open and not have all your eggs in one basket.
Just go on the date, ask her what she like to do and plan something around that, no need to be "exciting", if she likes you for who you are then don't change a thing.
I think this thread may have got to the point of 'too confusing' and whatnot. At the end of the day being yourself is the only tactic, and run away from the LJBF issue!
Of and have. Tibby, I really don't see the similarity in those two words. Can you explain? On topic: Haven't been reading this for the past few pages... assumed you were in there and dating this girl already. Seems you're taking it slow and steady and that's cool. GL with it, hope it works out for you buddy!
Well I have reached a good (?) State of actually not caring about the outcome as long as its not LJBF. She needs time to get over her ex, whether she is using that as an excuse... Who knows. I'm not in the most positive mood at the moment, which doesn't help. (Blame late trains). I sort of think the less I care about the outcome the better, but as I already made my intentions clear not sure that'll work . O well...
in my experience, the less you care, the better things turn out. Chased a girl for 6 months before I even got a kiss out of her... about a month later I just gave up. After that she became my girlfriend. Then we broke up. I have a new girlfriend and now the first girl regrets breaking things off. Girls are crazy.
Seeks... I hate to be an ass, but if there's one thing I've learnt, it's that people don't give a sh*t about their ex if the person in front of them is the right one. "Need time to get over my ex", "I've been hurt so often", "I currently don't want a relationship" are all excuses imho and experience. You're on the LJBF train. Of course, I really hope that I'm just being an ass, that I'm wrong and that you get your girl, so I'm going to wish you the best of luck mate! Cheers
Keep being a mate Seeks, she needs someone to chill out with for a bit, to bitch about the ex to. I met a girl on a night out that was going through a rough patch with her bloke, we got texting, she split with him, we kept texting, i split with my girl, we both did the sex with the ex for a bit then two months later we hooked up, were together for three and a half years. She was so out of league, a seriously hot art student that was mega clever too. Never underestimate yourself and don't give up, just try not to lean on her too hard. Give it a little while, get her out, both get pissed up and go in for the kill!
I know what you mean FRed_S, I'm of the same opinion really. If the right guy is there the timing doesn't matter. 'Its not a good time for me', 'I'm focusing on my career' etc are all just excuses. BUT hope reins eternal (that is a saying right?) So the worst that happens is I'm sitting here in a few months still single no different to now.
I disagree with Fred here, actually. I have personally been at a place in life where I wan't ready for commitment and knew it. I was getting over heartbreak and being f***ed around a bit too often. It wasn't a nice place to be, but at least I knew that I was in it. The current missus of 4 years knows me from that time. Lots of tail, lots of flirting, but never any commitment. I am NOT saying that she's doign that or going through that. I am saying that you CAN be at a point where a relationship just isn't right. You being a "nice guy", she might not want to hurt you by rebounding off of you.
