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Other Girls and more girls

Discussion in 'General' started by Pie_uk, 6 May 2010.

  1. Pie_uk

    Pie_uk British beef, in Britain

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    cheers spec, bentanat

    BentAnat It's easy because the rules are so obvious (IMO)
    It's (in my opinion, I know a lot of people disagree with the mentality here, so please take this as nothing but opinion based on some years of picking up women) based on a lot of primal instinct. People tend to orientate themselves upwards all the time. This means that if you manage to convince them that you are "upstream" from them, they automatically tend to like you more.
    To demonstrate this, think about this for a second:
    Someone facing you when talking to you, vs someone who talks to you over his shoulder. Who seems more arrogant (assuming they use the same line... let's say "That drink is really not very good... you should order the Bailey's rather").
    The answer is the guy talking to you over his shoulder, as if passing by. He's showing that he's got more important things to attend to than what you're drinking, and that he's being "nice" by mentioning it to you.


    so you mean dont be full on, or "nice", just make yourself heard but dont worry about making sure that was the most important thing ever.?

    The next thing to remember is that attraction is something that builds when you're not there.
    This is where "weasel terms" or whatever you want to call them come in. Example:
    I am talking to a pretty lass, and the conversation goes to (i.e. is guided to) one-night-stands. I then ask for her "type" in a playful way. let's assume (in most cases), she'll mention somone that's not like me. So i'd reply: "Damn... so I'd like - never have a chance with you", and laugh about that... In her mind, you planted the seed of her considering you a partner. her thinking about you is quite possibly the best thing that can happen to you. The more she thinks about you, the more "engraved" the thought of you becomes.


    I like this. I have done this before without even thinking about it. So the power of leaving a seed


    Some pointers that I reiterate to all people i give this rundown to (not that I do that a lot)
    - when going out, be happy, and show it. People are more likely to approach and/or talk to people that are having a good time. Noone like the glum guy in the corner. Everyone's out to have a good time.
    - if you see a nice lass and like something about her - tell her. Don't think about it. Just tell her. Worst case scenario? Her BF doesn't like you and confronts you. You go "sorry, mate. Wasn't really thinking about it. Just thought i'd tell her", then introduce yourself. Be Charming even to him.
    - Be confident, almost to a point of being arrogant. in "the scene" it's called a demonstration of higher value. See point 1 above
    - Learn to talk. If you're not comfortable talking to strangers, learn it. It's a priceless skill to have, and not all that hard to learn. It comes wiht practise.


    so this DHV you mean take the high road, show how you are better (bigger?) than them, but dont come across as being arrogant about it?

    and treat them nice but make it known they are not perfect? (yellow teeth? lol)!


    spec, so its like cat and mouse, but how can you play hard to get when the girl know they are hot and know that all guys want them? :S treat them a bit like poo but not too much and see there reactions? tease them?

    so flirting with most girls is the way forward. I agree being a good person is all very well but it wont get you a girl.

    so how do you make yourself interesting to them, how do you make them want you, for them to see that you are hard to get, and something to be wanted... how do you "act" like something to be wanted?

    cheers
     
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  2. BentAnat

    BentAnat Software Dev

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    You're on the right road there.

    1. Is all about playing that it's not important to you. I would never go up to a random girl and go "really - you should order this rather than that". I'd always say it casually, as if I do care a bit, but really, I don't know this woman at all, and as such I thought I was being nice. Ultimately, It doesn't matter squat to me, though. It's all about that illusion. What you're really after is her thanking you for the tip, and setting up a conversation where you can prove what a great and fun guy you are.

    2. Is alonger term game... yes, leaving a seed is good. Hence "weasel words". In a fast game (i.e. one night), the effect of this is way less dramatic than over, say, a couple of days. But it does help.

    3. The whole "DHV" thing is all about playing the guy that could get laid easily if he was actually interested. I.e. you're pretending to not be interested in her too much. You're just passing time by talking to her. There's about a billion techniques here, from fake time constraints ("I only have a minute... my friends are waiting for me outside, but really, I wouldn't order that" - risky if she finds out you came alone, but shows you're an important man), to dissing (I have seen guys get laid by telling women that those are the yellowest teeth ever seen - haven't been brave enough to try that myself yet). The key remains the same all around, though. You're important, wanted, and don't really need their attention. You were happy before you met them, and now that you met them, they're a fun past time, but you also have other things you could be doing that'd make you just as happy. Don't be nasty about it, though. Playful and funny is good, nasty is bad.

    As for the cat and mouse game and women knowing they're hot:
    The key to playing that game is to play higher value. You don't need them. You don't need any woman. Hell, all women love you. Why would you bother with HER?
    Obviously, this requires practise and being a social monster (i.e. being able to talk well with pretty much most people). But yeah... that's the idea.

    My advice would be to start small. Start by learning to talk to complete strangers about completely arb stuff. Learn to be a good conversationalist and fun guy to hang with.
    Reason for me saying that is that these small successes boost ego. The bigger your ego, the more confident you get. And confidence is key to later stages (beyond just talking to people, but when it gets to kiss-closing, etc).
    That's where kinesthesia comes in etc... it gets more difficult as you go along, but with small steps you make the later ones more natural to you.

    And again - it's all in the practise. ANYONE can learn this. That's not saying it's the only way to go about it at all, though. There's a million ways, and all of them are right.
    A lot of it depends on the person you're "playing at", and social circumstances.

    Another couple of hints:
    - Don't get too wasted. People don't like the epic drunk guy. He's stupipd and embarassing.
    - watch other people. Analyse what they do and how people react to it.
     
  3. liratheal

    liratheal Sharing is Caring

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    Blind luck. It's a very random tactic, and sometimes scores the crazies, but hey. Tried and tested, and I have all my limbs and organs still :p
     
  4. Pie_uk

    Pie_uk British beef, in Britain

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    true true. My timing has never improved. the past 4 girls ive got with have just split with an ex. and thus cant go further with cause of "feelings". didnt stop them getting in with me though, or maybe they wanted an ego boost lol

    pish!
     
    Last edited: 6 May 2010
  5. BentAnat

    BentAnat Software Dev

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    the caveman approach had a high success rate. Then they outlawed clubbing people and dragging them to your cave... :/
     
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  6. Phalanx

    Phalanx Needs more dragons and stuff.

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    I'm a follower of the same sort of things as BentAnat, but one thing that has worked for me a HUGE amount in the past (I have a girlfriend now), is the "checkover".

    Works best from a medium distance, so they can see your head movement, but can work from any distance if you're good enough.

    Basically, the idea is to get their attention, show your confidence, then show you like them, all from a 2-3 second interaction. How they react from that often shows you whether they want to talk to you or anything else.

    Make eye contact with them. As they focus on you, lift one side of your mouth in a half-smile, then split-second after that, look them up-and-down and then back up again, making eye contact once more. Now hold there for a second or two, then break eye contact and look away.

    From here, you have two options, depending on how you feel and how they reacted.

    1. Go up to them a few minutes later and make a compliment on what you "saw". This doesn't have to be physical, it could even be what they're drinking or their purse or anything. Detail shows you pay attention.

    2. Wait for them to come to you. If they gave you an appraising look back, it means the first impression really hit home. It's the riskier of the two options, but if it works, it's an almost instant winner. From here you simply have to be interesting to them.

    - All this is obviously to go hand-in-hand with BentAnat's (very detailed) information.
     
  7. Pie_uk

    Pie_uk British beef, in Britain

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    nice, thanks for sharing that. may have to try it sometime. saying that, I have done this and me and this girl got talking and had a great time. Only when i look back at that situation do i realise i did what you said but without thinking about it
     
  8. bigsharn

    bigsharn Officially demotivated

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    Depends what age range you're after
    12-15 = Anyone fun
    16-30 = fit/reputation for having a large... member
    31+ = personality
     
  9. unknowngamer

    unknowngamer here

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    Cool, I'm 37 and have a "Large Personality" :naughty:


    lolz
     
  10. bigsharn

    bigsharn Officially demotivated

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    Quality, not quantity my friend :thumb:
     
  11. Red Eye

    Red Eye Member

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    So lately I've been thinking something similar to you Pie_uk. After a friend pointed out to me that all I ever do is hook up with old friends, I've been determined to make a go of meeting new people.

    I chose to just get stuck in and start off by taking a leaf out of a few of my more successful friends. I can't agree that alot of forum talk will help, all this information overload will end up in you freezing in the moment.

    My advice is: get stuck in.

    You'll have to make the mistakes along the way so that you know what will work for you. I started by making small talk with the everyday strangers that you meet: cashier girls, random girl in front in the queue. Making small talk eases off the pressure of having to maintain a long conversation whilst allowing you to find out how you can enter into dialog with a complete stranger.

    Knowing that you'll probably never meet the person again means that you're free to experiment. As my confidence grew I started to enjoy talking to new girls to the point that I would intentionally leave the conversation on a high point. This is a big confidence boost to me, often I can tell by body language that the other girl has something she wants to say but now can't. I feel this is really handy later on when you do get to know a new girl for reasons that have already been pointed out: it leaves the conversation on a good note, it makes the woman want to talk to you again.

    And yes, do be yourself, its so much more easier to be you rather than fabricate something out of thin air.

    On a personal side I feel being a gentleman is real important, not just for meeting new people but just general personality altogether. Almost all of my female friends complain about how unkind men eventually become even after their kind nature when they initally meet. My approach to this follows from what a friend once said to me, in anger (over a guy of course) she said "chivalry is dead". I try to be chivalrous, maybe its because I'm a guy that was just brought up solely by women and the men that were in my early life were a-holes, but I really think theres some merit it a buy just being plain curteous. You don't have to over the top, just small gestures like holding a door open for someone behind you, and it always helps to puntuate your gesture with a comment like "please after you" when holding the door open. You don't have to do this exclusively for the date you are with, in my example she will still see that you are kind enough to hold the door for a complete stranger.

    Well I did say in the beginning that I'm trying to turn this new leaf of mine, and it's working out pretty well for me. I've recently got to know a cashier girl at a retail store a few weeks ago, we're meeting up this Sunday to check out a few places we've been talking about.

    I feel like I've already said too much so my original advice still stands. Get stuck in and have fun. If anything that I have said doesn't feel like you then you don't have to do it, experiment, try things and find out whats not you.
     
  12. chimmy09

    chimmy09 New Member

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    Honestly, I think that if you want a relationship, you have to be yourself, because then you will find a girl that likes you for you, and will have a much happier relationship, because you wont have to be pretending to be someone else all the time.

    But really, if you are just looking for something quick, if you are an asshole, you will get results much quicker. This truly is a depressing thing, but one of my friends from my dorm actually conducted a short "experiment." When he is himself, he is always almost immediately "friendzoned," but one day he decided to try and be a "new" version of himself, just to see how it would work out. This "new" version was basically him being an asshole(he even apologized to us for anything he may say during the "experiment"). Anyways, by being an asshole he managed to get a girl to invite him to the on campus REC center and get invited to her place to shower off afterwards. He didn't take her up on the offer (I think for fear of STDs) but still, it just shows the state of society to me, and severely demotivates me.

    Anyways, back to the advice. It is hard to tell with girls, some girls are attracted to confidence, but some girls are attracted to shyness(they think its cute). In my experience, the girls that are more attracted to shyness are the ones that are better suited for relationships.

    But you know what? I have only ever had 1 girlfriend(still with her), so I may not be the best source of advice.

    edit: I forgot something... My philosophy is to just let it happen. I feel that if it is meant to be, it will happen, but if it isn't, don't kill yourself trying to make it happen. My relationship started by me going over to a friends house and hanging out in his basement playing Rock Band. I wasn't going to parties, or hitting on every girl I saw/met.

    Again though, my advice is based off of personal experience, and is more aimed at finding a relationship, not just trying to "pick up chicks" because I assume that's what you are looking for.
     
    Last edited: 7 May 2010
  13. Elton

    Elton Officially a Whisky Nerd

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    Confidence, and independence.

    Outside of that not being a doormat and being assertive are definitively things you should do. Also don't be someone else, just be yourself.

    That's pretty much my view on what girls look for when they want a relationship.

    Being a gentleman helps quite a bit too.
     
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  14. Pie_uk

    Pie_uk British beef, in Britain

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    Yeah I mean I feel I have a lot to offer and so I'm not worried as such about being me, I think "me" is great ! :D

    But I think it's because of this small community i am in and everyone knows eevveeryyyonee syndrome. ( I will try and "get out" more though)

    Id be very keen too try the speak to as many girls as possible, get the small talk rolling out.

    I also think who eversaid just get out and practice is probably right, other wise its information over load and you'rll end up getting confused very quickly. Any tips on small talk? I dont want to be boring lol.

    being a gentleman always works with a girl you are trying to impress. but depends on the girl in my opinion. Like when I picked up this girl (the one i like) i got out my car, walked round and opened the door for her, she noticed and said thank you very much, she appreciated that.

    when i dropped her off and we went our own ways we kissed and then I got a txt to say what a good time she had with me and that i am a really good guy and easy to talk to, and I quote "it makes a nice change" :D

    on the a hole side of things, I have treated girls like poop and yeah you get pretty quick results, as in clothes off wanting to bonk you faster than you can say "slag"

    I think you have to be funny, shrewd and relaxed
     
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  15. Elton

    Elton Officially a Whisky Nerd

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    Wit, tons of it.
     
  16. boiled_elephant

    boiled_elephant Merom Celeron 4 lyfe

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    Unless it's borrowed from the delightful charms of Jimmy Carr.

     
  17. bulldogjeff

    bulldogjeff The modding head is firmly back on.

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    When did that happen? you mean I can't use this tactic anymore:duh:
     
  18. capnPedro

    capnPedro Hacker. Maker. Engineer.

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    Does it make you the saddest caveman in the world?

    [​IMG]
     
  19. stonedsurd

    stonedsurd Is a cackling Yuletide Belgian

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    I have a very nasty side. I can't control being a ****. For some reason, that helps.
     
  20. mvagusta

    mvagusta Did a skid that went for two weeks.

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    I like this thread :thumb: Nice and compact with lots of excellent advice on dating girls :clap:

    I think it should be made into a Relationships with Girls sticky- or maybe call it the sticky to prevent being sticky by yourself?
     

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