http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/8648011.stm They don't name the mariner - but I'm guessing it was a Captain Redbeard Rum, in the company of a Mr E Blackadder. Wether or not they had 'Fine Wine' to drink is unknown. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato_(Blackadder)
Aaaarrrrrr! You have a ladies hands, m'lord! an' I'm betting those hands have never been bitten off by a tiger shark! NINJA EDIT: Note to self: refresh before posting. D'oh!
The stupidness of this guy amazes me. Did he not notice that he kept going under the same bridges as he went around Sheppey?
You have a woman's legs M'lord! What an epic fail... It's not often you hear about something that stupid.
A commercial salmon fishing drift boat did just about the same thing to us one year... So it was early morning after a fishing opening, us being based off of the beach instead of a boat, were sleeping in our cabin after about 16 hours of fishing the previous day. At about 8 am someone started knocking on our door. Anywhere else, when someone starts knocking on your door in the early morning it wouldn't be that strange of an occurrence. However, our fish site and cabin, just so happens to be located on a small relatively uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean, with our nearest neighbor on the island being around 5 miles away, and with the nearest town being 20 miles away over water. So we generally only get a unexpected guest who we don't know about once every decade. So we open the door to find a man standing there with only socks on his feet... on a nearly uninhabited island... at 8 am... So we ask him what can we do for him and where are his shoes? and he reply's that him and his captain were fishing a few days ago on the fishing opening previous to yesterdays, and ran out of fuel, and have been drifting dead in the water ever since. As to why he only he had socks on, he complained that his boots hurt his feet so he left them on the beach. (to subsequently climb up a nearly vertical 300 foot bluff to our cabin) He then tells us that they had seen our skiff tied up to our running line in the water and they managed to steer their boat close enough to it and hop in it, And that he had beached our skiff in-front of the house. We were now somewhat concerned for the safety of our skiff since the beach infront of our cabin happens to have a large amount of tall and pointy rocks that enjoy destroying our outboards. We then hurry to the edge of the bluff to look over and check on our skiff. To our horror we find that he hadn't pulled our outboard motor up out of the water on our skiff, when he beached it. So now, since the tide can drop a foot every 10 minuets or so, the entire weight of our 16 foot aluminum skiff was now resting on the outboard motor, with the skeg, and Propeller now jammed into the sand. ( He thankfully had the insight to at least turn the motor off before leaving the boat) With much exclamations of terror we quickly threw on our boots and ran down the trail to our skiff. Lucky there was enough of us, that after some digging in the sand and lifting the rear of the skiff, we managed to lift the outboard up and set the boat back down, and then push it back over the sand and rocks and into the water. Now that our skiff was back in the water we headed off to his boat so we could tow him out to deeper waters so his boat wouldn't also go aground as the tide went out. When we arrived at their boat few minuets later and managed to tie up to it, the captain stumbled out of the boat's cabin to greet us looking rather hungover (or moderatly intoxicated). We asked him how exactly he managed to get here. It was one their very first times drift net fishing. The captain was well into his 50's suffering from arthritis, and had just recently moved to Alaska. But at least had some fishing experience. The Deckhand on the other hand, I honestly cant remember what he normally did anymore, but he had no fishing experience what-so-ever. They were running on some old restored wood boat from the 70's that the captain had converted to a fishing boat. Apparently they had both forgotten to fuel up the boat before they left port, I think they both thought that the other had done it so neither had. They also didn't have any gps, or any decent charts for that matter. Nor did they have a radio, or a cellphone, nor did they have much food. The Captain then asks us, "I'm south of Kenia right?" Rather dumbfounded, we informed him that he was actually on the north end of Kalgin Island. So of course he replied, "Where's that?" ( They had performed the equivalent of drifting off the coast of France while thinking they were off the coast of Britain) So in the hopes that they might have done something with some measure success we next asked him how he did on the fishing opener they managed to fish before they ran out of gas. He then got excited and replied, "We did great! We managed to get 34 fish!", rather confused we clarified... "34?" (the average drifter does 200-400 on a poor day, and over 1000 on a good one), " Yah! check them out!" so we look in his fishing hold, only to see the 34 most sorry fish you would ever lay eyes on. over two thirds of them, were either, A. Not salmon, or B. small enough to make them illegal to keep. They did manage to catch one small king salmon, except he was so covered in scars, and fungus, that he was almost oozing in the hold. Of course we put on forced smiles and said, "ah... nice work... But next time, you might want to throw out the trout, the canneries tend to only take salmon..." "Those are trout???" After making sure they were anchored far enough off the beach, we returned to our cabin and called our fish tender, (he picks up our fish and drops them off across the bay at the canneries). Thankfully he was only waiting for the tide to come back in, to come and pick up our fish. He then agreed to sell them some gas while he was loading our fish. So yea, in the grand scheme of things, that sailor guy getting lost around the island of Sheppey wasn't actually that bad...
Tweren't I in that debacle. I only go kipper fishing' offa coast of Birmingham on 11A You got to be right careful like when crossin' the great swells o' Yardley; yea might snare a Swan and HRH don't like that one bit. An ne'er try fishin' from the 11C; the currents be right perlous on that route I tell eee.
Hands, Hands.....guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich 1.50 Chicken Sandwich 1.50 Hand Job 5.00 Checking for cash, he walks up to the bar to one of the three blondes serving drinks to a group of men. Yes?"Can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, ... See more"are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes iam"The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich
