Have you ever......

Yes, leave for 40 minutes, come back and say. "Sorry I had a nosebleed, it's this dry winter air, I'm really sorry." works like a charm

Have you ever used a jackhammer?

 

No, sure haven't.

Have you ever used a vibrator? ;P

 

jackhammer as in crazy pneumatic thing that pushes a chisel like spike up and down, nope

have you ever been to a show expecting great stuff but it turns out to be crap

 

i'll reply to Scirocco's one cause its funnier. but the answer is no

have you ever broken a glass bottle over your head?

 

No... I have to avoid things like this, to preserve what little hair I have left up there.

Have you ever spent all day at work thinking "Got nothing to do, I'll read Bit-Tech", and then realised you had something every important to do, and end up staying up til 4:00am doing it?

(I'm not bitter... nooo....)

 

Yep. Tim wasn't very happy.

Have you ever slapped a womans ass in a club?

 

Yes, but she is my fiance.

Have you ever slapped a mans ass in a club?

 

Yes - playing "gay chicken" is possibly the most fun way to wind up your friends.

Have you ever had to fire someone?

 

Nope. I've had someone quit on me cos thier previous employer said he'd get the promotion he wanted if he came back, but that's about it.

Have you ever got sick of the cheesecake bs?

 

Yes.

Have you ever been sick from eating too much cheesecake?

 

NO

Have you ever ripped off your trousers while dancing?

 

I've torn them straight down the crotch, which was hilarious. Never lost em completely though...

Ever mooned from a public bus?

 

hah no(ive realized there alot of stuff i still gotta do)

have you ever hit your left funny bone of ur right funny bone?

 

Yup - way too many times on both to remember. And it most certainly is NOT funny! Whoever named it the funny bone should be shot with a "oh it's totally harmless really gun".

Have you ever heckled a comedian, and had a response from them?

 

yes, it was about where i cmoe from (bournemouth) of course i got totally slated and became the butt of a joke.

have you ever seen the comedian russell brown on you tube? if not, then i highly suggest you do.

 

Yep, but they just tease me back, I tell them I'm a journalist and they shut up and pick on someone else.

Have you ever lost a fight?

 

Not really, we always seem to give up before either one of us properly 'loses' (as in, is still concious).

Have you ever been accused of sounding like a Greek wedding at a comedy show just because you dropped a fork onto your girlfriend's plate?

 

Yeah, in fact its a daily occurrence for me!
Wait... no, sorry - getting confused there... no I havent!

Have you ever been "involved" with someone more than twice or less than half your age?

 

yes

have you ever wondered why so many people (I.E. Joe Public) buy high end computers when they have no idea how to use them

 

All the time.

Have you ever stopped to think "You know what... I'm spending £350 on a graphics card, and there are people elsewhere in the world who can't afford £0.20 for a loaf of bread."...

... and then bought it anyway?