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LOL Having a bit of a clear out at home

Discussion in 'General' started by Kronos, 21 Dec 2013.

  1. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

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    Available to a good home:
    One partner, toilet trained and conversant in soap operas and phatic communion or small talk.
    Able to cook one signature meal.
    Cleans visible surfaces.
    Vast experience speaking on the telephone.
    Willing to ask 'How as your day' but with ulterior motive.
    Able to clear out joint account seconds after your pay has gone in.
    Keen to have a day job but the house requires so much attention.
    PhD in nag, nag, nag.
    Any offers accepted. Willing to swap for collection of stuffed pets.

    Post here if interested and your offers.


    EDIT:
    THIS IS A JOKE
     
    Last edited: 24 Dec 2013
  2. Guest-16

    Guest-16 Guest

    /subbed
     
  3. Nexxo

    Nexxo Stopped treating this country as if it was his own

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    Ah, I love the smell of adult conflict resolution in the morning. :p
     
  4. Blazza181

    Blazza181 SVM PLACENTA CASEI

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    I'll make an offer.

    1 Blazza-level rep.
     
  5. aramil

    aramil One does not simply upgrade Forums

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    Lol. it must be Christmas.
     
  6. erratum1

    erratum1 New Member

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    One signiture meal, ha.

    Is it spag bol or maybe a roast.
     
  7. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

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    Nothing so exotic I am afraid an oven is a technical mystery to her.
     
  8. Cheapskate

    Cheapskate Insane? or just stupid?

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    What's the mileage?

    I mean, I can't afford another fixer-upper. Once the rear end is shot...
     
    Last edited: 22 Dec 2013
  9. Behemoth

    Behemoth Timelord in training

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    Is her back box blowing ? ;)
     
  10. Trance

    Trance Two steps forward, one step back

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    I'll put in an offer of 1 stuffed rabbit, a packet of crisps and some pocket lint.
     
  11. Behemoth

    Behemoth Timelord in training

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    What do you have in exchange for a (used) whip, chain and ball gag ? ;)
     
  12. KidMod-Southpaw

    KidMod-Southpaw Super Spamming Saiyan

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    I've still got a load of stuffed dogs, and a Lilo and Stitch plushie which, although I am very reluctant to give away, I believe would sweeten the deal nicely.
     
  13. Darkwisdom

    Darkwisdom Level 99 Retro Nerd

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    How about a trade for my partner? The specifications are similar but pretty handy with a crochet hook.
     
  14. KidMod-Southpaw

    KidMod-Southpaw Super Spamming Saiyan

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    Bit-Tech wife swap anyone?
     
  15. Behemoth

    Behemoth Timelord in training

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    Would never offer to swap my Mrs for anyone elses :)
     
  16. Williz

    Williz Member

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    I'll trade you my car but only if I can ride her home. haha.
     
  17. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

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    Some interesting offers and questions. But I don't think you are taking my offer seriously at all. I need her gone people.
     
  18. Behemoth

    Behemoth Timelord in training

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    Advertise her on GumTree ? I'm sure someone may ask you to post to Nigeria ? ;)
     
  19. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

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    Best suggestion yet.
     
  20. Nexxo

    Nexxo Stopped treating this country as if it was his own

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    Then be a grown-up about it and tell her that you want to end the relationship. This is not "Fantasy Slave Trade Forums" and the time that women were property rather than real human beings is long gone (in the UK at least. Last time I checked).
     

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